punishmenthurts

haui , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic controversial thought:

calling an autistic person naive is an ableist slur as it is negatively connotated and targets a persons unchangeable traits.

Feel free to disagree and explain if you think another definition would make mote sense.

As always please refrain from ad hominem attacks.

theautisticcoach , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

The deficit model of autism in DSM-5 dehumanizes us by focusing on external traits rather than internal experiences. It's also based in Nazi race science.

How can we push for more relevant diagnostic criteria?

Do we even need it?

#ActuallyAutistic #AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic

ashleyspencer , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Autistic burnout + untreated ADHD =

impulse control issues + inability to force yourself to do anything + drained by no ability to function

Lots of walking pass a mess unable to make yourself clean it, then blame yourself for it.

Distracted, can't focus enough to do fun things and/or take care of yourself.

Forgetting everything. So burned out you can't remember important things + made worse by ADHD.

1/3

@actuallyautistic
#AuDHD

Uair , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic

Does this resonate with anyone?

I'm distractable and indecisive and hardly ever get a damn thing done. However, if I decide something's important, I single focus on it and persevere far past the point a normal person would have given up.

Once I decide something's important, I'm infinitely brave. Even if my rational mind knows it's not worth dying over, I will risk my life over stupid shit simply because I never checked my head and changed course when it was appropriate.

Dr_Obvious , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group German

@actuallyautistic
I don't know if it's related to the hypo-/hypersensitivity topic, stimulation or whatsoever. But I really like strong tasting stuff. Spicy, salty, hot, sour, complex, whatsoever.

After just now taking a sip from a pickle glass it came to my mind that I even took shots of vinegar in the past, because I liked the taste. I considder it so odd that I wondered if anybody out there did it too.

Did you ever fancied a shot of vinegar?

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

#ActuallyAutistc
@actuallyautistic
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"Autism runs in families."
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It's true, it's not untrue. But what do you think Allism does? Direct hotline from God, or what?
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It's part of the pathologizing, part of speaking in the language of the oppressor that you see, "Autism runs in families," a hundred times more than that Allism does - or that in biology and life, EVERYTHING "runs in families."
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Out of all the things that do - everything does - how many times and to what end must we say "Autism runs in families?"
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Why does it matter that we problem children "run in families," but not that cops "run in families?"
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Or that soldiers "run in families?
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They are cherry-picking evolution and genetics to speak this way, as though evolution and genetics are not what makes everything and everyone, but just drops into life once in a while to cause trouble. Damned genetics!
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I mean, try this: my siblings and cousins tormented me terribly keeping me in meltdown for most of my childhood - what, because "I" "run in families?"
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Or because Mom's family was Allistic, clever and abusive and hyper?
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It's at least really both, right?
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But let's back out, way out, to the edge of the solar system, take a long view. Who is running increasingly in families, who is taking over families?
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Who perhaps was not in the majority before twelve to fifteen thousand years ago, but is now, and so must be taking over families? Modern Man, yes, with his aggressive nature and superpowers to dominate the world?
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In this sense it's not just the language of pathology, not just a bias but a reversal, one of those conservative accusations that is really a confession, projection, who, "runs in families."
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😈

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

So I see a completely different scenario in my childhood and my siblings' stories - from years or decades of therapy - are crap, ignoring my trauma and what my trauma did to everyone, and so I have to say: years and/or decades of therapy are no guarantee that an Allistic person is telling the truth 😠
.
#ActuallyAutistc
@actuallyautistic

mighty_orbot , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Neurotypicals: “This person likes me, so I’ll talk to them about things I find interesting.”

#Autistic people: “The only way this person will like me is if I don’t tell them about the weird things I find interesting.”

@actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic

I had a strange experience last night.

Usually, when I fall asleep there are gaps in my consciousness. It goes: awake, gap, dream, gap, awake.

In other words, there is no continuity of consciousness between the wakeful state and the dream state.

However, last night there was a continuity. I was able to have conscience of myself falling asleep, entering dreamland, dreaming, coming out of dreamland, and being awake again. This cycle repeated itself three times.

Previously, the closest I came to this was that sometimes I'd be conscious of pulling back at the last minute. In this case, I wouldn't actually fall asleep, I'd progressively go towards sleep, but pull back at the last minute.

I wondering if it has anything to do with autism.

#ActuallyAutistic

Richard_Littler , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

If you've ever wondered what it's like being autistic with ADHD, it's a bit like this for me. (I always assumed everybody thought like this).

#ASD #ADHD #AuDHD #Autism
@actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic

"It’s past time to stop using the Reading the Mind in the Eyes Test"

I did part of the test a while back, mostly as a joke. I was watching a YouTube video in which an autistic person was showing pictures from the test.

This article makes a convincing argument as to why the test is complete bullshit.

Any "professional" who uses it to decide if someone is autistic is a fraud. Same if they use it to prove that autistic people lack of theory of mind.

#ActuallyAutistic

https://www.thetransmitter.org/spectrum/its-past-time-to-stop-using-the-reading-the-mind-in-the-eyes-test/

PossiblyAutistic , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

So much for access to diagnosis. The doctor who was recommended to me doesn't take new patients. But of course doesn't write that on her website so I made myself nervous one hour long for a call of fifteen seconds. @actuallyautistic

Uair , 1 month ago to bookstodon group

@bookstodon

Idea:

Bookstores should group fantasy with horror instead of scifi. Both fantasy and horror are purely creations of the author's mind; scifi is tethered to factual information.

If you need to group scifi, I'd put it with mysteries and thrillers.

theautisticcoach , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

What’s the biggest myth about autism that my #ActuallyAutistic comrades have come across in the course of their self-advocacy?

#AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic

mariyadelano , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Question for fellow @actuallyautistic and @actuallyadhd neurodivergent folks:

How do you explain your ideas to neurotypicals?

I constantly struggle because my brain has made connections that are not obvious to others, and when I try to guide them through my thinking I confuse them with details or by skipping explanations that seem obvious to me but completely surprising to anyone else.

Frameworks, links, anything is appreciated!

Zumbador , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic

I have half formed thoughts about autism and externality. Not sure if "externality" is the right word?

I seem to be much more entangled with objects and my environment than most people, and I think that's a autistic (and ADHD?) thing.

Having to use notes and lists to remember things and organise my thinking, as if my memory resides as much on paper and digitally, as it does in my brain.

Having strong empathy for non-living things, as if harming them is harming myself.

My relationship with my home: I don't really feel safe and relaxed anywhere else, and I strongly dislike other people (except for my husband) being in my space. As if my space is an extension of myself.

All of these things feel like different manifestations of the boundaries between myself and everything else being blurred.

#ActuallyAutistic

Uair , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic

How are you with animals?

I tend to throw off the wrong vibe for people, but get along with even the iffy animals. Dogs that don't like most people warm to me.

Just wondering how much of that is autism and how much me. My dad hates animals.

CynAq , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic
#ActuallyAutistic

I have issues with the "top-down ( purported to be most NTs)" and "bottom-up (purported to be most autistics)" thinking binary.

I don't think these labels identify the differences as I believe this is an issue of motivation and value judgement.

Let's take the common example of essay writing for school. The story goes "when they asked us to write an outline, the NT students got right on it while the ND kids were bewildered because how could they write a bullet point version of an essay that didn't exist yet."

This makes intuitive sense to everyone who experienced the frustration of being asked to write that outline so we connect over this and give this as an example of our "thinking style" difference from the NT population.

If we actually think about this a little, though, the example, while a common experience, doesn't actually demonstrate how our thinking differs.

First, NTs and NDs both need to acknowledge the concept of an essay. If we then say "the NTs get right on writing the outline when asked to do so, which means their brain started from the concept of an essay, then automagically filled it out with a list of section titles, then guided their person through the acts necessary to fill out those sections," does this sufficiently explain what is happening? After all, the ND people can write research essays, and without coming up with an outline first too!

I think there's something deeper going on here. I think, the main difference is priorities, not the method of thinking.

In my opinion, when asked to write an essay, most NT people respond by asking "why" or even "what's in it for me" first, and since the school structure pre-answers that question for them, move onto "how," which is also formalized for their convenience: "start by thinking of possible questions and reword them as titles, put them in a list. This way, you won't have to experience the inconvenience of being curious for once." The entire process is optimized for form over substance.

In the same situation, putting the curiosity first, most ND people respond by "<insert every question possible>", and concluding "I'm going to start looking into it." No instruction necessary because the ND brain here optimized the question asking part of the endeavor. The information will be gathered and new questions will form and then more information will be gathered until there's too much of it and..." Yeah... "why are we doing this again?" Notice the "how" isn't very important here, even though it's included in the "every question possible" because after all, what can be more natural than making observations and learning other people's observations and then putting them into a report of facts? Substance rules, and form will emerge as a necessity.

So, I like thinking about "substantial (substance first)" and "formal (form first)" modes of thinking rather than "bottom-up" vs "top-down".

If you're still reading, thanks!

I'm curious as to what everyone else thinks about this issue :)

pathfinder , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic
@actuallyadhd

After joining a post by Niamh Garvey (hopefully a successful link to it below) about whether she had adhd as well as autism, I have spent the last couple of days contemplating this idea for myself as well.

I am still not entirely convinced, but I am beginning to suspect that I might well be in this situation as well. After watching a number of YouTube videos from those with both autism and adhd and reading up on adhd, I can see a number of things that point on that direction certainly, although I'm not entirely convinced.

I have always been aware of the near overwhelming urge to either interrupt people, because there is something I want to say and if I don't then, then I know there is a more than a reasonable chance that I will forget what it was. I also have a tendency to want to finish people's sentences. Both of these things though I have taught myself to resist. Even though I feel a great deal of discomfort doing so. I am also more than aware that I can forget what I was saying, or thinking, halfway through a sentence. That digging through the trash to find the package with the instructions on, that I only just threw away after reading, is not uncommon. As is failing completely to understand or remember the instructions someone just gave me.

But then, my short term (working) memory is basically non-existent. But, I'm also aware that this is a fairly common problem for autistics and even before I realised I was autistic, I built up systems to help myself deal with this. As well as with my general forgetfulness. Lists, memory aids, even making the route out of my flat a trip hazard to make sure I don't forget to take something with me. Also, I live alone and essentially there is a place for everything and everything has its place. Not foolproof and I have lost things in a very small flat that I still haven't found. But generally speaking effective.

I struggle to start tasks, especially tasks that I have no real interest, or desire to do. Being interested in something has always been my main motivator. But eventually, I can normally force myself and work my way through things, especially if I know they are necessary. Knowing I have this problem is also why I hate leaving things to the last moment. I know that I am more than capable of doing that if I allow myself, but also that the stress from doing so is nearly overwhelming, even if it can be motivational. As is the stress of clutter. Not the organised clutter that is my flat, where I know where everything is, as in somewhere in that pile over there, but the clutter that builds up eventually and begins to feel as if it is out of control.

Novelty is a factor in my life. Or, boredom, rather. Because sooner, although far more likely later, I will grow bored with routines, or things like safe foods, and need to change them. Many of my interests also seem to suffer from a similar threshold. A certain point where I lose interest and no longer feel any need to maintain them, even though this might make me feel guilty about giving up on them. In fact, I hate boredom and I have always needed a certain amount of new things to watch, or discover and to be actively doing stuff, if only in my head. And whilst I have never thought of myself as being particularly spontaneous or impulsive. I am, within certain limits of self-control. There is a rationality that often has to be appeased that gives me a sense of control. I have also taken stupid risks and great risks. But rarely beyond what I knew was necessary, or to my mind, at least, controlled to a point.

I can be easily distracted, by random thoughts or by, (well obviously not squirrels, I mean who would be? but, oh, oh, there's a butterfly) things. But not always to the point that I'm not at least marginally still aware of what I should be paying attention to. Letting myself wander whilst maintaining at least a marginal awareness is an old trick of mine. I have always been a fidgeter, but that's also how I maintained concentration. Feeling the overwhelming need to move, has always seemed to me to be anxiety driven, or is the way I focus and think. In fact, movement for me has always been as much about settling and regulating myself, as it has been compulsive.

As I said, there are certain things that seem to fit, even if they also seem to have been effected and possibly modified by my autism. I would love to hear your thoughts.

https://beige.party/@[email protected]/112390279791932822#

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

#ActuallyAutistc
@actuallyautistic
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Neurotype parses Human Nature.
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You can't be divergent and talk about some universal Human Nature, "Nature," in these sentences means neurotype, it means what comes naturally and what doesn't - that's neurotype.
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If you call yourself divergent, you have to give it up, all the talk about Human Nature, or you don't exist.
. 😈
Sorry.

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

#ActuallyAutistc
@actuallyautistic
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my report 😠

me, my white face in a grey T-shirt in the dark, my messy kitchen lit up in the background, making a dour speech: “I was born knowing it was my job to fix this world, and I have my report, I can tell what I’ve found and what needs to be done, but you’ve got a long way to go before you’re ready to talk to me, to people like me. You . . . wouldn’t get it, that’s all.” (Or something like that)

lifewithtrees , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

The older I get, the more I find being in the city to be overwhelming. There are so many people and sounds and smells and it is all sensory overload.

Manhattan (and especially MoMA!) was interesting for the day but I’m ready to get home to the forest.

I am back in my hotel room with white noise going and ordered food I make at home for delivery to calm my nervous system.

#AuDHD @actuallyautistic

punishmenthurts , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

#ActuallyAutistc
@actuallyautistic
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I don’t know about you, but my self diagnosis was anything but fast or easy. It was sixty year goddam treasure hunt where anyone who knew or could have known anything made a point of keeping it a secret.
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No matter the troubles I was having, the messaging from family (who absolutely all knew) and doctors and psychologists was all NT conformism:You are Normal. We are All the Same.
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Self diagnosis is about as easy as a salmon finding its breeding spot after a thousand miles of white water. It’s an against all odds kind of deal, at least for us olds.
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Neurotypes are the biggest secret in the world, because We are All the Same, they say. They don’t like self diagnosis because it’s when we win the game of Hide and Seek, we are Kicking the Can when we self discover, winning the game.
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😈❤️

Dr_Obvious , 2 months ago to ActuallyAutistic group German

@actuallyautistic
I am in the mood to spam some thoughts

You know that metaphor that neurotypical people are running windows and autists linux. I want to expand on that.

If you are a person that is "not looking autistic" people say often something like okay, but you have like the mild version.

I think it's because they only look at how big the differences are they are noting. They don't see where you are coming from.