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punishmenthurts

@[email protected]

late hatched Autist invader on the Wet Coast of Canada, child of the 60s and believed it all. The Hatching is sprinkled through both blogs, and the theory starts with spanking in 2014 and evolves to what, I guess The Antisocialization Theory of Neurodiversity or something by now - but don't try to read it all, it's a mess. Just ask me.

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chevalier26 , to ActuallyAutistic group
@chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic How did y'all discover which parts of yourself were masking and which parts are genuine? Or, figuring out when you are masking in the moment it happens? Sometimes I feel off in certain scenarios but I can never pinpoint what is masking and what isn't. Any advice or resources would be appreciated!

punishmenthurts ,
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@Zumbador @chevalier26 @actuallyautistic
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I really have no idea what my personality is, it may al be masking. I know what I THINK, but I don't have any awareness of some way to "be," that would be my own.
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I'm taking my first little try at figuring it out right now listening to Autism Chrysalis' list here on a loop right now:
https://youtu.be/V432ZWNpM0E?si=rumGgiC3d1RmK2v9

catswhocode , to ActuallyAutistic group
@catswhocode@mastodon.art avatar

@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd Is it an ADHD/autistic thing to have tons of tabs open in your browser? I do this :blobfoxlaughsweat: what happens is I'll think of something, open a tab, and then forget that I opened it

punishmenthurts ,
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@tine_schreibt @catswhocode @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd
I’m brutal about it, generally, if it wasn’t worth it immediately, I notice and close it first thing next day, but I’m extremely exclusionary, I’m trying not to spend another minute reading stuff written by and for normal people, life is too short and it doesn’t fit. ❤️

punishmenthurts ,
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@catswhocode @tine_schreibt @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd
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Well then you shouldn’t read them either! 😀

punishmenthurts , to ActuallyAutistic group
@punishmenthurts@neurodifferent.me avatar

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I was pondering the other day the theme of , that with Autistics, it can take a long time to find ourselves and do anything (even if we are unabused), and thinking in particular, how do we learn language from people who don't use it?
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I mean, you're supposed to learn what words mean when you're young and it's "spanking doesn't hurt," and "cats don't kill things," how the Hell do we EVER learn what words mean, and it occurs that it takes us extra time, but really, do they EVER learn it?
. 😈
.

@actuallyautistic

chevalier26 , to ActuallyAutistic group
@chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Do y'all know if it's an autistic trait to be super skeptical of stuff? Like, for example, my parents watch some questionable "health" people on YouTube, and when they show me a video from said people, I can tell IMMEDIATELY that they are grifters in it for money. Idk what gives it away but it's like a flashing warning sign in my brain.

I wonder if it has to do with social influence and the effects of charisma/agreeableness that NDs might not fall for.

punishmenthurts ,
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@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic
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I think so.
I do sort of fall for a charismatic, though. I have learned to run from them, but my immediate reaction is the one they like, I'm afraid.
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But yes, my TV has been on all my life and I have shields up for advertising on TV and radio, and in person, well, I don't even want to be there.

punishmenthurts ,
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@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic
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I have what seems to be a radical theory, the unique product of my Autistic mind, that the basic lie of "Human Nature," as in a "Nature," same for all and for all time, sets them up for any bullshit at all, in its denial of evolution and really most simple causality in human affairs.
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If people have managed to be forcibly turned away from basic causality and the fact that people change, then what test do they have for truth? How is anyone to know the difference between real and pseudoscience when the "real," stuff ignores simple emotional causality and evolution?
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Again, just me, I think, NVM, carry on. 😘

punishmenthurts ,
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@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic
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it occurs that this is normally a complaint from "atheists," levelled at the religious, but that for me, and of course I think, "for us," it is expanded, most of the "atheist," scientists, being Allistic, have lost the Creator, but not the forever Nature. I draw that line in a different place; where the atheists," draw it doesn't really change anything.
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It really doesn't matter what you think of a likely fictional Supreme Being, the liine, where it matters, is what you think about people.

punishmenthurts ,
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@hauchvonstaub @chevalier26 @actuallyautistic
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I mean, I'll never learn, I am the Born Yesterday sort forever.
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I suppose I'll keep trusting and losing, but right now, I'm alone, so there's not a lot going on.
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It's not just foolishness, it's often a calculated thing, and I've been willing to take some losses to find or do some good in the world.
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But it's "only foolishness," to a certain sort of a mind, isn't it.
I think to a degree, the folks here bragging that they've learned is sort of sad, we learned a sad thing, and I suppose in the end, we might look back on it as part of masking? Learning their expectations instead of reinfocing our own?
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Meant with love, sorry if I'm Autistically brutal. ❤️

punishmenthurts ,
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@hauchvonstaub @chevalier26 @actuallyautistic
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also, things change, the human world is evolving badly and quickly, it's almost certain that whatever expectations we gained decades ago will no longer fit.
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That we don't talk about evolution makes everything more mysterious than it needs to be.

punishmenthurts ,
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@maggiejk @chevalier26 @actuallyautistic
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I was never really clear about the CRTC (Cannadian Comms regulatory body) laws about rebroadcasting radio station ads through music on hold, no-one seemed to worry about it, but it's true the big corporations buy some gawdawful music source of their own, I've hooked up may sorts of things.
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Complete with their own ads, sometimes. Personally I want to kill someone when I have to listen to the ads for a place I'm already a customer of, like were they never going to shut up? I BOUGHT YOU ALREADY. It's really bad with TV providers, 90 second ads for the service you're already watching, FFS.
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With radio, there are issues, I used to leave them on the pop/rock station, while another installer would leave it on the Christian station. 😀

punishmenthurts ,
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@maggiejk @chevalier26 @actuallyautistic
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early digital Music on Hold devices were short on memory, and extremely repetitive, I still have trauma from testing calls into some systems with those, started hearing that in my sleep

spika , to ActuallyAutistic group
@spika@neurodifferent.me avatar

So, two winters ago I couldn't find what I did with my favorite red coat. I searched everywhere for it, and came up with nothing and was very sad that I had lost it.

For some odd reason, I decided to open the coat closet that's in the basement that we never use, it's just where old coats go to be forgotten... Guess where my coat has been for the past two years. In that closet that I totally forgot to look in.

@actuallyautistic

punishmenthurts ,
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@spika @actuallyautistic
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if it's me I'm worried that it found its way into the not to be worn closet for a reason and I've forgotten that 😇

BernieDoesIt , to ActuallyAutistic group
@BernieDoesIt@mstdn.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Had a few rough days.

punishmenthurts ,
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@BernieDoesIt @actuallyautistic ❤️

punishmenthurts ,
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@BernieDoesIt @actuallyautistic
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yeah?

punishmenthurts ,
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@BernieDoesIt @actuallyautistic
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so true.
I mean, it not being our fault is one goal but it sucks to work hard and achieve that much only for Murphy's Law to get us some other way. 😈

punishmenthurts ,
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@BernieDoesIt @actuallyautistic
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I don't know how I'm doing, I'm distracted, out of my mind high. I'm antsy, but all that is not relatively good compared to when I'm all in touch with myself. ❤️

punishmenthurts ,
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@BernieDoesIt @actuallyautistic
you too

CynAq , to ActuallyAutistic group
@CynAq@neurodifferent.me avatar

“Go out of your comfort zone to grow as a person and become capable of doing more things”

Translation for my and friends for whom this doesn’t seem to work:

“Get yourself exposed to more uncomfortable situations which the neurotypical brain will automagically become desensitized to”

My brain doesn’t get desensitized to virtually anything. “Go out of your comfort zone” isn’t the helpful encouragement you think it is for me.

@actuallyautistic

punishmenthurts ,
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@neversosimple @CynAq @actuallyautistic
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it's not very different from saying "get INTO flight or flight mode," that's what's outside of anything's comfort zone, isn't it

punishmenthurts ,
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@neversosimple @CynAq @actuallyautistic
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"Let that cortisol shrink your brain!"

punishmenthurts ,
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@pathfinder @CynAq @actuallyautistic
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ah, there's a thing, those thoughts resided in my siblings rather than me, about me "being stuck," - meaning, Autistic - but the effect was no different, I was still stuck fighting them ❤️

chevalier26 , to ActuallyAutistic group
@chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Do any of y'all have EXTREME heat intolerance? It's like the older I get the more I can't put up with hot weather. I've always been very "hot-natured," prefer winter over summer, etc. but this year I think my intolerance has been the worst yet. Friends are telling me how it's peak summer weather (90 degrees is comfortable?!?) meanwhile I start sweating when it's 70+ degrees Fahrenheit outside. What gives?

punishmenthurts ,
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@arisummerland @chevalier26 @actuallyautistic
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I even tried an ice vest for golf, but I have a layer of fat all around and even that couldn't keep my core cool.

punishmenthurts ,
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@arisummerland @chevalier26 @actuallyautistic
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I wasn't big, just I could never get in shape, I 've been soft since adulthood. I think I was pinching an inch at the time, but there's no exposed blood vessels where a vest covers you, it's not like applying ice to your head or your wrists.
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Really, they do?
But just for living, right, not hiking or golfing?

punishmenthurts ,
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@arisummerland @chevalier26 @actuallyautistic
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Yeah, I guess it might have worked at home. Suddenly regretting getting rid of it.

Autistrain , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Autistrain@neurodifferent.me avatar

"in modern humans, language is a tool for communication, contrary to a prominent view that we use language for thinking.",

" language does not appear to be a prerequisite for complex thought, including symbolic thought."

"it plausibly co-evolved with our thinking and reasoning capacities, and only reflects, rather than gives rise to, the signature sophistication of human cognition"

Language is primarily a tool for communication rather than thought
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-024-07522-w

Sadly, paywalled. But, it gives good points to counter the narrative that if we don't have a language, we can't think, etc.

Edit: If you want to read it:
https://gwern.net/doc/psychology/linguistics/2024-fedorenko.pdf

@actuallyautistic

punishmenthurts ,
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@Autistrain @actuallyautistic
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https://sigmoid.social/@kir0ul/112670072501322431

chevalier26 , to ActuallyAutistic group
@chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Does anyone else find that their music taste is extremely unconventional? I can enjoy most types of music with others, but when I'm alone I listen to stuff that most people would never listen to. Like historical folk songs, military marches, courtly dance music, sea shanties, etc.

I enjoy other music too but I feel like the above categories are things I am "ashamed" to play around others. Idk if that makes sense lol.

punishmenthurts ,
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@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic
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no, not a bit, LOL.
I love music, but I have a very short spike for it. Three chords and the truth, LOL. 😘

punishmenthurts ,
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@chevalier26 @EVDHmn @Autisticaurochs @actuallyautistic
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It's sort of how I am about music - fave music? Whatever turned me on when I was young? 😂

punishmenthurts ,
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@chevalier26 @EVDHmn @Autisticaurochs @actuallyautistic
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here's joke: anything from Deep Purple to Jesus Christ Superstar 🙄

punishmenthurts , to ActuallyAutistic group
@punishmenthurts@neurodifferent.me avatar

It probably sounds awful, but it's good, a change after ten years of the definition of insanity. I just resisted the Autistic naive temptation to answer my spokeskid's latest responses as though they really wanted to know anything. I had said we need to make a change and they said yes, but what about this and that, and I just said, no, this and that is not the change we need, I'm not answering.
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Any Autist from the Other Side got a high five for me.
.

@actuallyautistic

Autistrain , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Autistrain@neurodifferent.me avatar

This essay somehow resonates in me. Since I can remember, I never understood genders. It's simply not a thing for me. Why should we be restrained and oppress ourselves with a binary choice? It doesn't make any sense in a world of diversity. It's a purely social construction that doesn't feet my view and who I am. We are all humans.

“Autistic people aren’t being fooled into being nonbinary. We see past the binary that fools you.”

https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2024/06/autistic-people-arent-being-fooled-into-being-nonbinary-we-see-past-the-binary-that-fools-you/

@actuallyautistic @neurodiversity

punishmenthurts ,
@punishmenthurts@neurodifferent.me avatar

@337guanacos @nddev @james @DoomsdaysCW @Autistrain @actuallyautistic @neurodiversity
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asking for trouble here, but yes, that, for sure.
Also, we're more likely to just have a deep feeling of something huge not being right and so we try on genders in an attempt to fix that?

punishmenthurts ,
@punishmenthurts@neurodifferent.me avatar

@337guanacos @nddev @james @DoomsdaysCW @Autistrain @actuallyautistic @neurodiversity
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same, I think, if I heard you right?
Gender and sexuality were always on my list of "maybe that's what's going on," but never really took over, and in my sixties, it's finally learning about Autism that seems to be the point.

punishmenthurts , to ActuallyAutistic group
@punishmenthurts@neurodifferent.me avatar

There’s a point I’ve been failing to make: in the punishment/deterrent mode, they can say that the criminal could have avoided entering the criminal justice environment - and if, or inasmuch as this is true, then the criminal is the only one in the criminal justice environment that could have.
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Everybody else in the Criminal Justice Environment, TM, works there, mostly full time, and fail to avoid the environment of this “deterrent,” most of their lives. So they adapt, of course they do and we all know there are police families and non-police families.
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I mean. all of us are involved, and mostly we are all adapting to this toxicity.
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Haven’t said this for a minute but I tag this stuff for Autists, not because it’s ABOUT Autism, but because it is science and philosophy FROM Autism.
.

@actuallyautistic

punishmenthurts OP ,
@punishmenthurts@neurodifferent.me avatar

@actuallyautistic
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If we really got evolution, we’d make that name change everywhere, the medical environment, the educational environment. These are not mechanical “systems, “you are not a cog in a mechanical system, because you are alive and cogs do other adapt and evolve.
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punishmenthurts OP ,
@punishmenthurts@neurodifferent.me avatar

@VulcanTourist @actuallyautistic
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my point is the sudden end about to come is also evolution 😈

punishmenthurts OP ,
@punishmenthurts@neurodifferent.me avatar

@VulcanTourist @actuallyautistic
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❤️
no worries, I am just a damned blowhard and carry on with the tiniest of excuses 😂

punishmenthurts OP ,
@punishmenthurts@neurodifferent.me avatar

@VulcanTourist @actuallyautistic
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I'll huff and puff and destroy your premises! 😂

theautisticcoach , to ActuallyAutistic group
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

I have spent my adult life stressing the need for autistics not to block out allistics from our life - promoting the idea that we don't need to live a life apart - that this world, with everyone in it, has what to offer for us.

This is becoming increasingly harder to defend.

@actuallyautistic

punishmenthurts ,
@punishmenthurts@neurodifferent.me avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic
things change, evolution. You’re right about it one decade, or one generation, wrong the next.
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People supposedly “believe in evolution,” but they don’t believe humans adapt to their own shitty environments. Particularly the Allist is changing fast, in something like a positive feedback loop.

punishmenthurts ,
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@GreenRoc @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic
😳❤️

punishmenthurts ,
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@GreenRoc @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic
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seeing you in science or philosophy mode is cool, that kind of blew me away. ❤️

punishmenthurts ,
@punishmenthurts@neurodifferent.me avatar

@GreenRoc @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic
I was trying to craft something like that yesterday morning and never did, about how the lawmakers - a whole job title just to make more, constantly - keep adding environmental hazards, how every law is another environmental hazard for people.

punishmenthurts ,
@punishmenthurts@neurodifferent.me avatar

@GreenRoc @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic
❤️ not as prescient today, but I know we always knew it when no-one else did.

theautisticcoach , to ActuallyAutistic group
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

When NTs talk about themselves all day long and we try to empathize with them we are told we are self-centered.

When we mention one tiny part of our life to NTs, we are told we are self-centered.

When we voice a need to an NT, we are told we are self-centered.

Interesting.

@actuallyautistic

punishmenthurts ,
@punishmenthurts@neurodifferent.me avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic
sorry, only one speech per customer 😀

Autistrain , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Autistrain@neurodifferent.me avatar

I received a message with a link to a local newspaper speaking about autism.

  1. As always they need education on the topic

  2. I had to kindly explain the article about the promotion of aspie supremacy. What bring us to point 1.

We need to better educate journalists on the topic. I see all the time bad and pathologising articles on the subject of autism. It's like autistics aren't human or we have to be cured. It's not fine at all.

On aspie supremacy:

Elon Musk’s Autistic Anti-Patterns
https://oolong.medium.com/elon-musks-autistic-anti-patterns-5a96111ef28f

Mad supremacy:
https://criticalneurodiversity.com/2024/02/19/mad-supremacy/

@actuallyautistic @neurodiversity

punishmenthurts ,
@punishmenthurts@neurodifferent.me avatar

@dpnash @zigi_now9 @Autistrain @actuallyautistic @neurodiversity
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yeah. I’ll let it go, but I will mourn it. I always thought I lacked all natural gifts except IQ and that it was what saved me. 😘

punishmenthurts ,
@punishmenthurts@neurodifferent.me avatar

@dpnash @zigi_now9 @Autistrain @actuallyautistic @neurodiversity
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I mean, in the end, nothing saved me, did it. So, let it go.

chevalier26 , to ActuallyAutistic group
@chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic How do y’all deal with people who say that autism doesn’t even exist, and that it “suddenly” cropped up over the past few generations because people have been “mentally coddled”? Somewhat in the same vein as “there is a diagnosis epidemic” but much more extreme.

punishmenthurts ,
@punishmenthurts@neurodifferent.me avatar

@actuallyautistic

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y'all sleeping on this 😂
I just love the what, juxtaposition, that song for those people 😀

catswhocode , to ActuallyAutistic group
@catswhocode@mastodon.art avatar

@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd Another question for both groups: do you find you have "spiky intelligence"? As in, you might be amazing in some areas like math, programming, etc., but struggle with executive functions. I'm good with a lot of artistic fields, but definitely struggle with organization, finances, navigation, etc. My wife and I compensate for each others' challenges.

punishmenthurts ,
@punishmenthurts@neurodifferent.me avatar

@dpnash @OtterForce @EVDHmn @catswhocode @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd
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music never got better, but I persist, at least I know this about it, I don't have expectations. But one word:
bloody golf. 😈 💔

punishmenthurts ,
@punishmenthurts@neurodifferent.me avatar

@dpnash @OtterForce @EVDHmn @catswhocode @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd
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just saying, I gave it many years, a real try, all pre-hatching, and I always sensed that it wasn't like this for everybody: every Saturday morning, taking my grip and stance, addressing the ball and saying to myself, How TF do you do this again?
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Re-learning every time. 😈

Ilovechai , to autisticadvocacy group
@Ilovechai@sciences.social avatar

Singing helps regulate my nervous system.



@actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy

punishmenthurts ,
@punishmenthurts@neurodifferent.me avatar

@Ilovechai @actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy
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I'm laughing too, kindly, I promise. ❤️
Your nails are about as long as my fingers, we have such different troubles 😀
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Your voice is amazing!

punishmenthurts ,
@punishmenthurts@neurodifferent.me avatar

@Ilovechai @actuallyautistic @autisticadvocacy
😀

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