alexisbushnell

catswhocode , 11 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd Another question for both groups: do you find you have "spiky intelligence"? As in, you might be amazing in some areas like math, programming, etc., but struggle with executive functions. I'm good with a lot of artistic fields, but definitely struggle with organization, finances, navigation, etc. My wife and I compensate for each others' challenges.

Tim_McTuffty , 12 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 229 , Thursday 13/06/2024

A better nights sleep last nigh, although I did wake up early, had a nice chat with CDP 🧚‍♀️.

Mrs S. was in the office today & I really wasn’t feeling it this morning ,so after breakfast I went back to bed for a couple of hours.

My brain drove me out of bed just after 9am, unless I’m really quite poorly I cannot stay in bed for too long.

So I was reflecting on the meeting with the Social Prescriber yesterday & subsequent conversations with friends on here.
I wonder if I NEED to be more social than I am now. I wonder if the benefits outweigh the stress / anxiety etc. of being in a group of people.

Also the fact that any decent support is a decent distance away. (thanks UK Gov - so much for the promised improvement in MH services NOT !)

I am social to an extent, I regularly chat , laugh ,cry etc with so many lovely folk on here. Yes it is a relationship in a digital environment, but does that make it any less valid an experience?
The Fediverse is unlike any other Social Platform, it is possible to develop real friendships here & the lack of an algorithm makes for a more interactive experience!

Honestly I don’t know, when actually confronted with the help available, if it is worth pursuing.

On a more positive note I had a great banter session with several of the Peeps on here this afternoon / evening , thanks to all who participated, I enjoyed it enormously! 😊

Final Thoughts.

I never expect that I was fighting for so little, it is quite the anti-climax.
I am glad I got my diagnosis, that has helped me understand myself in ways I did not expect, & almost every day I learn something new.
Apart from anything else I found a whole group of Peeps who relate to & share experiences & challenges unique to ND folk!

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

snoopy_jay , 13 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group German

@actuallyautistic To those who do not (!) have children: Is family important to you? I can not say that my family has mistreated me in any way or not accepted me the way I am, and yet I am drifting away further and further every year. I think I haven't seen any of them in, like, 7 years? I think I just don't like spending time with humans, related or not? 🫥

autism101 , 14 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Do you have any clothing routines? I own eight gray plain t-shirts with no tags which I love. I often will just wear them over and over again.

#AskingAutistics #ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD @actuallyautistic

Zumbador , 23 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic

Here's something that causes friction between me and my family.

Someone asks me to make a decision about something I don't have a strong preference, but they want me to have a preference.

"do you want x or y? "

Saying "I don't care" comes across as rude, and even softening it as "I don't really have a preference" or turning it back to them by saying "what do you think?" isn't appreciated. They want me to care.

I understand that they want me to choose so they don't have to do that emotional labour. That's fair. But often when I do choose (at random), they try to change my mind, and then I'm back to square one because I don't really care, and I don't want to lie!

A honest answer would be "I'm depressed, I don't want to exist. Putting on a polite face is taking up all my effort, expecting me to actually care is beyond my capacity"

But that's too heavy for most interactions.

I'm not sure what I'm asking for here, just writing it out.

#ActuallyAutistic

alexisbushnell , 25 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Slightly concerned that the next week is going to destroy me but I'm going to do my best to balance all the peopling with special interests and alone time.

Saturday - @RepairCafe_Barry followed by Hypno Café.

Sunday - hopefully a walk.

Monday, Tuesday - work.

Wednesday - work, bake a birthday cake, community pantry.

Thursday - entire day of top secret birthday fun I've organised for my BFF.

Friday - collapse in a heap.

@actuallyautistic

alexisbushnell , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

I am so bad at weekends and now my work week is settling into a routine thanks to my VA, the weekend issue is getting worse.

Like I desperately need every day to be the same or for "different" days to be planned well in advance so I know what to expect when they arrive. And I have no idea how to do that with weekends because they involve other people and weather and stuff I can't control.

@actuallyautistic

yourautisticlife , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic

I think the evidence is mounting that in some circumstances I can be rather slow to process emotions.

Sometimes it is not until the day after something happened that I get angry. During this "something" I keep a placid demeanor. This demeanor is not a strategy or a conscious decision.

Then, the next day, I realize how this very thing gives rise to emotions, often anger.

I'm wondering if it relates to alexithymia. I'm not confused about what I feel, but the feeling may get delayed.

Or maybe it is a combination of:

• people pleasing,
• autistic inertia,
• alexithymia

Just thinking out lout about one of my characteristics here.

#ActuallyAutistic

alexisbushnell , 1 month ago to bookstodon group

I finished reading Turtles All The Way Down by John Green and how I wish I'd had that book as a kid. Such an honest account of mental illness, you can tell it's written by someone who actually gets it.

@bookstodon

alexisbushnell , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Any recommendations for Autistic coaches?

Ideally also:
A woman.
In the UK.
Queer.
Knowledgeable about trauma / cPTSD.

@actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic

infinitesoleil , 1 month ago to bookstodon group

#BookReview

4 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This book was absolutely unhinged. That’s the best way I can describe it. The main character was unhinged, the way the book took a turn and nearly became a horror novel was unhinged. The way it ended was unhinged. I was getting so enraged at the main character’s behavior that I was live reacting as I read in a mutual’s DMs who had just finished reading the book the week prior.

Would I read this book again? Probably. Not anytime in the near future though. Aside from the insane plot line, this book touched on themes like interpersonal racism, discrimination, identity and authenticity, representation, cultural appropriation, and cancel culture.

#bookstodon @bookstodon

From: @infinitesoleil
https://federatedfandom.net/@infinitesoleil/112362438392855097

LehtoriTuomo , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Someone asked whether I ever played Doom. No, not really. I told that I've never liked first person shooters and then it hit me. I never liked them as there's too much going on. In fact, I've never been a big fan of any types of shooters, the only exception being Cannon Fodder. Now, with the new-found autistic perspective, it makes perfect sense. Sensory overdrive all the time equals no fun. How about my fellow autistics, any fans of shooters?

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

LehtoriTuomo , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

I've been trying to understand what it means that an autistic brain is bombarded with so much information. We spent some time at our summer cottage and I think I got some insight in this.

Instead of seeing the lake in front of my eyes, everywhere I looked I saw a detail. Its size would vary but it would still be a detail. A swan there, its partner there, no leaves on that tree yet, what a cool pattern on the small waves, what does it look like when I move my eyes this way, or that way, a car on the opposite shore, the shadow of the tree, I wonder what seagulls those are etc. A new detail with every single glance.

At the same time my attention tried to keep track of the dog and listened to birds singing and bumblebees flying around.

Now I wonder what it feels like just to see the lake.

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

AnAutieAtUni , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

I am really loving and connecting with the TV series, Astrid: Murder in Paris.

I’ve only got as far as episode 3 (no spoilers please!) but I’m realising that watching it has rocked me to my core quite a bit.

I’ve never seen someone who is similar in age and challenges to me. Most autistic characters seem to be younger (children, teens, maybe early 20s). Astrid doesn’t seem like she’s in her 40s like me, but I can still relate a lot more than to other characters.

Realised I used to be called [and sometimes quietly refer to myself as] “fragile”. I’m sometimes called “brilliant”, too, which usually sets up great expectations of me in other areas that I fail at meeting in spectacular ways. These words were used to describe Astrid. I am very familiar with the spiky skillset idea, but hearing words that are familiar to me… kinda hits differently? Somehow.

I see how she is more “obviously” autistic than me. I see how she navigates the names she gets called and the way she is treated like she is a child sometimes. I think I’m ready to start facing that kind of discrimination if it means masking less and taking care of myself more. I need to find a way to allow myself to very gradually explore this, while remembering that my masking is deeply engrained and very much automatic, not a conscious choice the vast majority of the time.

One thing I’m exploring is allowing myself to express my troubles without using words. Usually, I will try to keep a neutral exterior and try to calmly say “I am not doing well right now”. But no one is taking that seriously. I usually have to repeat it 3 times and then eventually break down in front of someone before they’ll realise and help in the ways they’ve agreed already they will help me. Quicker help would make a massive difference and make the outcome so much better.

I want to retrain my brain to show my struggles outwardly. I may need to use words, too, but I’m hoping even allistic and neurotypicals who know and care about me will learn the visible signs that I’m struggling and if I go non-speaking or shutdown completely, then hopefully there will be some sort of support or recognition of what’s happening.

@actuallyautistic