Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 229 , Thursday 13/06/2024
A better nights sleep last nigh, although I did wake up early, had a nice chat with CDP 🧚♀️.
Mrs S. was in the office today & I really wasn’t feeling it this morning ,so after breakfast I went back to bed for a couple of hours.
My brain drove me out of bed just after 9am, unless I’m really quite poorly I cannot stay in bed for too long.
So I was reflecting on the meeting with the Social Prescriber yesterday & subsequent conversations with friends on here.
I wonder if I NEED to be more social than I am now. I wonder if the benefits outweigh the stress / anxiety etc. of being in a group of people.
Also the fact that any decent support is a decent distance away. (thanks UK Gov - so much for the promised improvement in MH services NOT !)
I am social to an extent, I regularly chat , laugh ,cry etc with so many lovely folk on here. Yes it is a relationship in a digital environment, but does that make it any less valid an experience?
The Fediverse is unlike any other Social Platform, it is possible to develop real friendships here & the lack of an algorithm makes for a more interactive experience!
Honestly I don’t know, when actually confronted with the help available, if it is worth pursuing.
On a more positive note I had a great banter session with several of the Peeps on here this afternoon / evening , thanks to all who participated, I enjoyed it enormously! 😊
Final Thoughts.
I never expect that I was fighting for so little, it is quite the anti-climax.
I am glad I got my diagnosis, that has helped me understand myself in ways I did not expect, & almost every day I learn something new.
Apart from anything else I found a whole group of Peeps who relate to & share experiences & challenges unique to ND folk!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@Tim_McTuffty@actuallyautistic I have consistently found that in person people are not worth the stress. Whether it's because I suck at real time interactions because of delayed processing or something else I don't know, but every time I try I am reminded of why I avoid in person people. I would say most experiences for me have led to additional trauma.
I think there's something to be said for the "right" people, but for me the right people seem to only exist online.
@Tim_McTuffty@actuallyautistic I have also found that I do better when organising a social thing than just as an attendee because I understand my role and what is going on, etc.
I host some events locally (not at the moment cos burnout and social politics stuff) and I enjoy those more than social events I have just attended.
I also do better with large groups than small or one to one even though the idea of large groups feels awful. In one to one or small groups I find it always ends badly.
I struggle a lot with people to people synchronous communication , I can generally do it with small numbers under duress , but large groups are … problematical.
Not good at organising events.
Like you online, specifically Mastodon , is the place where I thrive socially.
Online lets you walk away and come back to it, later, when you've got a different perspective. Online lets you edit and rewrite until what you're putting out is exactly what you mean.
Real life can't be edited, and there's no pause button.
@Tim_McTuffty@actuallyautistic
I think the question isn't how much real life socialisation do you need, but how much do you want. Of course, a certain element of real life is needed. Otherwise, you might end up like me 😆 But, beware of the dreaded feelings of "should". Therein lies trying to do and be things that aren't really helpful and often, are actively harmful.
And yes, this place definitely counts as socialising. Where else can you interact with so many compatible souls? And I would say that this place has done more for my mental health, than anything else has done in all my 60 years. (Although, to be fair, that's not exactly a high hurdle to pass 😂)
@Tim_McTuffty@actuallyautistic
Evening 🐿️🐿️
I do believe that socialising IRL, has massive benefits, I speak as one who was painfully withdrawn and worried when growing up and into my thirties, but something changed somewhere along the line, and I am now much more able to deal with people!
You are definitely a sociable 🐿️🐿️ squirrel,
I think virtual platforms count, particularly Masto, people are much more open and willing to share and support, never talk your experiences down.
You are among many who regularly brighten my days!
Thank you and G'night
XxXx
I don’t want to be negative here , but there is a difference between us, one of the principle reasons for me being socially challenged is being NT, that isn’t changing.
That does not in anyway mean that there is not a sweet spot that I can achieve with the right tool set. But to mix in the analog world, will I suspect, require me to use a set of mental exercises to manage triggers & curtail my less adorable traits.
I try to be sociable & to help folk where I can.
I love that we get to share this space & have such a good time here 🤗🥰
@Tim_McTuffty@actuallyautistic
OMG! I was totally not trying to diminish, what you have to deal with!
But trying, in my cack handed way to empathise!
I frequently find people incredibly frustrating and annoying!! But I can at least see when it's just them being knobs, and when it's my lack of tolerance!
To not get cues, and to be constantly triggered must be incredibly tiring, working & frustrating 😔
I'm happy to be put back in my box when necessary,
Love ya 🥰🥰
@Tim_McTuffty
🤗 I don't think anyone "needs" to be more social! And heck, I feel you're chatting more on here with more folks than I do... So by those standards, you're more social than me 😉 and not doing that bad!
Yeah it can be quite a challenge to get decent (mental) health support, but I guess that's in many countries, not "just" yours. 😔
Just research the MH bits you're interested in. Read about the AuDHD, and things you recognize, you can explore some more. It's a broad spectrum, we're all different, and what works for me could work for you, but it also could be all the wrong things... I guess that's why they called it a spectrum, as we overlap at points but we also stand out in others in our own way (I hope I'm not offending anyone with this, just how I experience it).
Be you! Chat with friends! Lurk when you have to... Have private chats when it's too hard to have them "out in the open". Shout from rooftops or lovely Yorkshire hills if they're easier to get to.... Do as toy seem fit!
Just remember to be kind, to others and yourself (I know, the "yourself" bit I should do more myself... 😇).
💜 🍀 🤗
Take good care sweets... Just be you as you are, make sure you're healthy enough, fit enough, as a healthy body helps the mind as well. And with more spoons at hand, it's a bit easier to "people".
Just my opinion, I know... But you know I like to share if it could help... 🫶🏻