@actuallyautistic#actuallyautistic Wish more YouTubers and content creators added a toggle to their videos that could switch off background music. Idk about y'all, but so many videos have added music that is unnecessary, distracting, and overstimulating.
I have seen videos on YouTube where the closed captions settings have been programmed with a separate audio track with no commentary, so I know it can be done! Would probably be so helpful for so many people!
@chevalier26@actuallyautistic which content producers do you like? Some of them could probably produce two versions im guessing. I talk to a few of them I can ask. It’s mostly a few minutes extra to make the changes I 🤔
@chevalier26@actuallyautistic For me I just want to overlay my own music etc that I use for everyday life to other audio like having a single earbud in that helps w/ me process and flow. I know how to do this with a laptop but not my phone .😉
How would you explain to someone who is neurotypical (a nice one who wants to understand) what body doubling is and why it's helpful and sometimes even necessary for overwhelming tasks?
I've had to describe this to my very lovely NT friend and my explanation sucked lol. Pls help.
@dyani@actuallyautistic@actuallyadhd
A support role(consensual) that helps keeps you humming along your irl timeline to the goals or objectives.
The doubling offers up a secondary awareness supporting the collaborative effort.
This is mostly described as a non physical role or remote role, even if the BD is
manifest during parallel play session or during a irl relationship(friend/etc).
I hope this helps
Thanks to a few mentors from genz who helped me remember as well.
Yeah, it’s 🧐 context preference/needs etc. much overlap in context I agree. 😌 I think the biggest difference is how the dynamic plays out between individuals and how you can make it work for you in a healthy way!
Cheers 🥰
@actuallyautistic@actuallyadhd Is it an ADHD/autistic thing to have tons of tabs open in your browser? I do this :blobfoxlaughsweat: what happens is I'll think of something, open a tab, and then forget that I opened it
@catswhocode@actuallyautistic@actuallyadhd
Well I don’t have a preference per se like many others however when I do close them I use it to possibly remind me of a adhd thought I forgot .. I have a couple
645 tabs lol I’ve won the adhd jackpot a couple times on mastodon although if you use Firefox you have infinite lol 😆
Literally said this thing to my partner today when explaining how I never enjoyed the non-conseual sexual banter out of the blue from 'dude friends'..I still wonder, are autistics also more likely to be #demisexual ? As this feels definitely connected for me. I was welcomed and included socially, #highmasking but it did often feel like others were having more fun than me. This vid satisfied my wondering why. #neurodivergent @actuallyautistic@autisticadvocacy
@actuallyautistic#actuallyautistic Do y'all know if it's an autistic trait to be super skeptical of stuff? Like, for example, my parents watch some questionable "health" people on YouTube, and when they show me a video from said people, I can tell IMMEDIATELY that they are grifters in it for money. Idk what gives it away but it's like a flashing warning sign in my brain.
I wonder if it has to do with social influence and the effects of charisma/agreeableness that NDs might not fall for.
@actuallyautistic#actuallyautistic Does anyone else find that their music taste is extremely unconventional? I can enjoy most types of music with others, but when I'm alone I listen to stuff that most people would never listen to. Like historical folk songs, military marches, courtly dance music, sea shanties, etc.
I enjoy other music too but I feel like the above categories are things I am "ashamed" to play around others. Idk if that makes sense lol.
Pride, is both a celebration and an affirmation of our existence. It is the latter for me that is all important. As someone who very late in life realised I was autistic, I had spent a lifetime knowing only that I was different, but not how. It was a hole in me that I couldn't fill, a sense of something missing, a lack that always felt more about how broken I was than anything. As a consequence it became something to hide, to mask and to be ashamed of. It was my dirty, dark secret and the core of my existence. The knowledge that no matter what, I was wrong and always would be.
Realising I was autistic, filled that hole. It taught me to see the difference as, if not always positive, at least natural and normal. I was never broken, I was just trying to function in the world in the way that was right for me. A world, that in so many ways, was hostile to that, unforgiving about difference and those who stood out too far. I had, in fact, been simply trying my best with the tools that I had, the tools that came naturally to me, even if no one else ever saw that.
Having a day to remember this. To remember the past and the pain and the blind struggle. To remember how far I've come and how much I've learnt and have yet to learn (because finally I can). To be able to stand out and say "yes, I am", is important not just for us, but others walking this path. For too long being autistic was a dark and terrible secret. For too long its truth has been hidden behind ignorance and misinformation. That is what days like this are for and why they are so important. To show the world that autism and being autistic, is nothing to hide and nothing to fear. Happy pride day everyone.
I was watching a movie it was 4am. I think it was everything everywhere all at once for the 2nd or third time.
Anyhow all of these thoughts started populating, I started being reminded of all of these thoughts that had been playing on my mind.
Then a lightbulb went off💡. I’m autistic, my partners autistic, my mother’s autistic.
😱 I could see the patterns. However I realize how lightbulb moments aren’t always
accurate. So I started doing research.🔬
@pathfinder@actuallyautistic I was on the former dead bird site. Shortly after my birthday in September, 29, 2022 I got my dx on paper. Late June early july for 💡.
I started talking to others.
I started being active.
I had followed mostly science people through the pandemic so I already had a head start. Mostly thanks to being able to read between the lines when I would ask questions. They helped me up my game very much in disinformation and game theory and medicine. I love Neuro/Psych🥰
@pathfinder@actuallyautistic I still had some imposter syndrome. So I litterally walked out of the doctors office in shock.
What did it all mean?
I started reading about what my doctor told me. Those words echoed like haunting memories.
Them:
“Don’t worry! 😉 They are all around you!”
“2-3 of my professors were autistic”
“Keep up the masking”
I called my partner immediately and read as I drove to west Virginia.
@pathfinder@actuallyautistic
It’s extremely difficult to sort the level of bias you need to understand about humans in general with implicit bias.
To be able to understand your own.
You need some kind of baseline and you need a ton of accurate memories you may have forgotten.
Once you get that down. You can perhaps semi connect your own dots on the rabbit hole.
This essay somehow resonates in me. Since I can remember, I never understood genders. It's simply not a thing for me. Why should we be restrained and oppress ourselves with a binary choice? It doesn't make any sense in a world of diversity. It's a purely social construction that doesn't feet my view and who I am. We are all humans.
“Autistic people aren’t being fooled into being nonbinary. We see past the binary that fools you.”
@james@DoomsdaysCW@Autistrain@actuallyautistic@neurodiversity to get an adequate sampling size to know how this fits . See you could say do a poll right? Well statistics can show averages. It doesn’t mean 😢 I don’t believe🤔that any one sampling size fits for that specific way of how we all feel, hence my concern is accuracy, getting unbiased as much as we can, etc. I’m not saying there isn’t strong correlation because we don’t typically, break the mold, in some the mold breaks us 🤷♀️
@actuallyautistic@actuallyadhd Another question for both groups: do you find you have "spiky intelligence"? As in, you might be amazing in some areas like math, programming, etc., but struggle with executive functions. I'm good with a lot of artistic fields, but definitely struggle with organization, finances, navigation, etc. My wife and I compensate for each others' challenges.
@catswhocode@OtterForce@actuallyautistic@actuallyadhd
I read somewhere some things can be a trauma response because we don’t allow ourselves to relax when we should have when younger. This can lead us to take ourselves too seriously perhaps?.
You don’t need to be good to have fun I have found.
It was a problem for me so I thought I should mention that.
I thought it could help someone else :)
Wondering whether some older undiagnosed autistics might’ve been mis-diagnosed with dementia due to poorer executive function as they age & cope less well with stress. @actuallyautistic#adhd#actuallyautistic#Dementia
@Susan60@actuallyautistic that’s what it presents and let alone we have autistics who can’t explain how they feel really all the time, that’s a huge thing. They were raised on a paradigm not to think for themselves rather a routine to follow. I guess we all have our routines and when life throws us curveballs we feel it and my partner is 35.
@Susan60@actuallyautistic oh and let not ever forget about masking ..even in relationships all the time. I can’t be around a person long term who we both can’t be ourselves around. We are both basically what you see is what you get.
We do work on bringing our inner health out. We both share a lot on different platforms. Medicine and veterinary
We both love science.
it’s too difficult life for us otherwise.
@Susan60@actuallyautistic I hate to tell people this but medicine is a tool used to accomplish a goal. However with audhd it makes it extremely difficult to feeling multiple feelings. I try to self regulate my awareness. With Asher and the fundraiser going on pacing is so important if I would have been intelligent I would have asked for a couple people to field everything. Social media can be a blessing. We have a good start to goal and leaving in awhile we are all relaxing a bit.
I was once told that if you truly need help you need only ask. So humbly I ask you at least read our ask for help below and at least perhaps help us get the word out.
We will post updates now.
I’m sorry it took so long but this stuff isn’t easy to do and it’s taking all my energy to even attempt this.
Fedi if you can do your thing please. If not for us for Asher. I can check and see if you can donate directly to Cornell or . If you prefer and dm me.
On any account or any questions just ask!
Thank you
Derek Jolene and Barbara.
I’m editing the alt text for pictures now but I have to hit send because we are packing.
Last week Asher our Furbaby had a bowel obstruction. He came to us as a stray who followed us home from a few blocks away.
His conditioned improved at first when the blockage was resolved. However, by early Monday morning, he declined dramatically.
We decided to take him to our vet once he opened that day as we were afraid that the stress from the long journey to the emergency vet might worsen his condition.
Yesterday, we found out he was lucky to be alive and his kidneys are shutting down.
Our vet has him semi stabilized now, and recommended a referral to Cornell veterinary hospital where they have specialists who hope to improve his prognosis. Since he’s only 3 years old, all members involved hope to give him the best shot at life.
Getting him stabilized so far is estimated to be 1000+ and the estimate for Cornell ranges between 1500-4500 conservatively. They are unable to provide a more accurate estimate until he has been evaluated.
I have helped others before to fundraise for their companions fundraising and we try to help with outreach in our community in terms of cat rescue, TNR, and finding affordable care. However, we have never had to ask for help ourselves in this regard.
While it’s difficult for us to ask for help, we realize it was the only way to save him. Although some may view him as just a cat or pet, he is so much more to us. Besides being a housemate, he is also a friend, companion, and teacher. We would give him our kidneys if we could.
That said, I know many are struggling as well. I have boosted and donated, but I never did it expecting anything back. I did it because we both believe we are in this together.
So if you can please send Asher your best vibes. Your best boosts.
My partner and I will keep you updated.
We do have Vet references, estimates, drivers license, etc, this is not a scam.
If you can donate, that would be great. No amount is too little, every penny makes a difference. We appreciate every kind thought or prayer at this point.
Thank you all in advance. We don’t have a lot of time. Whether we meet the goal or not, we will do our best to keep fighting for him.
I often describe myself as a minimal speaker. It's because whilst I can speak, unless seriously overwhelmed, I vastly prefer not to. In large part, this is because the effort of speaking, and it is, more often than not, a real effort for me, rarely seems worth it. Since realising I am autistic, I have come to realise why this could be and also why communicating on here is so much easier and not just because it's text, because I struggle with that elsewhere too.
Language, whether text or verbal, is communication. Whether that be communicating thoughts, or feelings. Expressing emotions, or ideas. It is the medium and not the source. The source is where these things are coming from and it is what shapes our use of the medium and therefore in large part the assumptions we make about how others are using it and therefore the likely success of any communication.
Enter the double-empathy theory and the general acknowledgement that autism is a fundamental difference in the ways in which our brains work, often exampled by describing it as a different operating system. It means that whilst I am using the same language to talk with allistics, how we're both using it, the ends and purpose, even the nature of the information being transmitted, can often be fundamentally different.
An example I have used, is to compare it to a foreign language speaker with a reasonable understanding of the local language, but having to work incredibly hard to keep up with a conversation and having to constantly check their translations and whether or not they were making the right replies and not offending anyone. But to be truly accurate, you would also have to add in a cultural divide, a root level difference in the expectation and assumptions they are making about life and how this was also shaping their communication.
This, I think, is why speaking has always been so hard for me. Why it's always been so much of an effort and often without point. It's not that I am speaking a foreign language, or that my words themselves can't be understood. But that the information I am attempting to convey and the intended purpose of that information, is so far out of phase with the expectations of those around me, that miscommunication, confusion and the all too familiar fallout becomes almost inevitable. It's also why speaking here is so much easier.
Effective communication is more than just using the right words, it's about realising the intent and purpose behind those words. About understanding where someone is coming from as much as what they are trying to say. And that, as the saying goes, takes two to tango.
@actuallyautistic#ActuallyAutistic what are everyone’s thoughts on signing cards (birthday, etc.) at work, where you do not really know the person, but there is an implied expectation that you do so
At the height of the great method debate in the 20th century what were Carl Popper and Thomas Kuhn debating about? How long did the discourse start last etc? Who won the debate? What was the take away and where are we at with it today?
Context: reading some #philosophy of #science lately as well.
I picture the mind kind of like a garden, all the parts I’m learning revolve around a similar theme which is mostly around some of the nuts and bolts of #science.
@philosophy
I should add if anyone has any links that’s fine.
I’m also interested knowing who you think is the greatest philosopher of the 21st century?
Which school of philosophy do you feel is most representative in today’s world? Do you agree with it? Why?
😂
QOTD:Above in previous post
Purpose:To understand the purpose of the debate and where we are today.
Disclaimer: I’m aware perhaps of the biases😅pls and ty
@mirekdlugosz@philosophy
Yes I do understand however I was hoping to get human input on the topic, not trying to run anyone under the bus, just get some friendly perspectives that’s all! Thanks for answering!
For some broad questions I just like to hear from others first maybe get some organic answers. Before I form anything about the subject that’s all.
I do use Plato @ Stanford anytime I have any questions regarding specifics. I was more interested in contextual and chrono that’s all :)
5 more revision days left. It feels like doing the same work over and over, and needing to be motivated and care the same way as the first time… the first time is easy because it’s all new and exciting! But with revision, you need to go over and over the same stuff at regular intervals. To make it work I NEED to care!
Aaarrghhhhh!!!
Side note: I still haven’t watched Groundhog Day. 😲
Burnout is a bitch. I think all of us who have experienced it, or are experiencing it, will agree with that. But, how it presents and how long it maintains its hold over us, seems to be as variable as so much else about us.
I can now recognise the many times I have experienced burnout in my life. Each one marked by my constant refrain of, "I'm just tired" and with me doggedly plodding on with my life as best I could. Even now, in the deepest and longest burnout of my life, I am still doing the same.
Of course, I at least know to try and pace myself now. To let the unimportant things slide until their time comes and to spread out what has to be done, to the best of my ability. I know to dedicate time to self-care, to rest and recreation and to acknowledging my needs as an autistic person. This much, realising you are autistic can teach you. It can also help you to spot the signs of burning out sooner and hopefully mitigate its effects that way.
When that's possible, of course. For what caused my current burnout was unfortunately a series of overlapping events that I could not avoid, or do anything about. It was almost as if life chose to keep throwing things at me, each more intense and impossible to avoid, until I broke. But then life can be like that sometimes.
Autistic burnout is, of course, different from normal burnout, in what causes it and how it presents. It is, more often than not, a breakdown of our ability to cope with the demands being placed on us and not with how much we can carry. We are used to carrying insane loads and with having to work so much harder than most other people, just to keep putting one foot in front of the other through life. In fact, I know that I never really rest, not even now. My life is one long and continuous assessment and checking on whether the routines I have in place are being maintained. Whether I have done everything, on what needs to be done and finding new ways to blames myself for why it hasn't been done yet. There is no such thing as not working as far as my brain is concerned. And because I never stop, I don't know how to stop. How to heed the signals of tiredness and exhaustion and how to not knuckle down and continue anyway. It has been the story of my life. In work and everywhere else, always push, push, push.
And perhaps this is why autistic burnout is so common and possibly even inevitable. The sheer effort that life already is. The constant raggedy edge we walk just to get through a day and how in doing this day after day, all we end up doing is teaching ourselves to ignore the warning signs and that our needs are even important. And end up learning instead, that all that really matters is the next plodding step, no matter the load we are already carrying.
@pathfinder@actuallyautistic
Time scales are relative to system. Meaning if you have 1000 spoons and you burn 1500 spoons for awhile you may be able to handle it for awhile. Only by juggling mental health. I think it’s easier to juggle life than my touchy system. Great post Kevin.
Massive science stuff happening . I ordered Professor Dugatskin book. The well Connected animal! https://press.uchicago.edu/ucp/books/book/chicago/W/bo212549914.html
On a side note
Here’s one for you I think you will find fascinating and quite enjoyable and relatable.
I like the authors playful but candid style of writing.
Camilla Pang, a computational biologist, cancer researcher and writer :)
@aggualaqisaaq@ct_bergstrom@bookstodon
A professor reccomended Professor Neil Shubin books as well. I’ve read all three and it really gave me a better perspective on life. Neil Shubin “Your inner fish”. Sooo much fun!
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 205 , Monday 20/05/2024
Was up till the early hours of this morning with stomach cramps after last nights daring attempt to eat scrambled eggs & beans for tea.
Spent the day getting lots of exercise up & down the stairs to take a pew, if you get my drift.
Attempted to interact on here a couple of times but my brain is apparently on sick leave so it didn’t go exactly to plan 🙄🤦♂️
Hopefully tomorrow will be better !
Final Thoughts.
Is the babel fish truly a fish if it spends most of its life out of water ?
This & other great questions of our age will have to wait until I can think straight!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@punishmenthurts@ashleyspencer@actuallyautistic
It’s all one story now to me. I separated them to understand them and heal them as much as I could. Love myself and unified them all back together under the now.
Children of the moments that came before.🥰
@punishmenthurts@ashleyspencer@actuallyautistic
I did it because carrying around all that baggage, it wasn’t worth the effort to me. I was just giving those that hurt me, in my life more power so I took it away. I hope you find a way of meshing it out for you somehow . I know it’s easier said than done. Time was ticking for me. I didn’t want to be in the state I found myself. It’s not perfect. Like I said a day at a time. I still am constantly rerouting energy😭😁
@rebekka_m@catswhocode@ashleyspencer@actuallyautistic
Yes breathe relax hydrate eat are my 100 times a day reminder. I custom made my meditation space in my mind the same way ikea designs furniture and I keep going back to it.I have a couple spaces now.
Sometimes it has to do with how you think. I’m very very visual learner and thinker so for others this maybe just listening to rain hit on a metal roof or something. Whatever calms you and allows you to fully relax and explore. 😊
