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moz

@[email protected]

A lifelong resident of Yaramulla near Sydney, rides weird bikes and codes when bored. Entertains chickens for fun.

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Susan60 , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Susan60@aus.social avatar

Someone sent this to me a while back & I’ve only just got around to looking at it. (ADHD) Rang a lot of bells, & is no doubt another factor is late diagnosis.
@actuallyautistic

https://poweredbylove.ca/2017/11/21/atypical-autism-traits/comment-page-1/#comments

moz ,
@moz@fosstodon.org avatar

@Susan60 @actuallyautistic reading the list going "yes, yes, yes".

Thinks "I almost never stim though"... notes both index fingers busy tapping the sides of the laptop... nothing to see here, move along.

autism101 , to ActuallyAutistic group
@autism101@mstdn.social avatar

Being autistic and ADHD is challenging. Every day you feel your brain pulling you in different directions, from routines to chaos.

What are the biggest challenges for you?

@actuallyautistic

img: u/GorillaS0up

Four pictures depict Neurotypical, Autism, ADHD, and AuDHD. The Neurotypical photo shows a picture of a man with a caption that reads, “I can do whatever”. The Autism photo shows a picture of a woman with a caption that reads, “I need routines to function”. The ADHD photo shows a picture of a woman with a caption that reads, “I function in chaos”. The AuDHD photo shows a picture of a man with a caption that reads, “Wait, you guys can function?”
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    • moz ,
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    @autism101 @actuallyautistic faffing about randomly for an indefinite time then locking onto a task and doing it until I fall apart.

    I have a fixed routine for workday mornings but it broke when I took a couple of months off and I'm struggling to reestablish it.

    I really need to make another attempt to get the ADHD drugs.

    olena , to ActuallyAutistic group
    @olena@mementomori.social avatar

    We got free lunches at work: on the weekend, they send the menu, people choose between three options for each of two meals for each workday, and the food is delivered every day fresh from a restaurant nearby(not a fancy one, typical “homemade” food). If you need, they provide options for vegans or food restricting diets.

    I am the only person in the office not doing that. I cannot explain to my coworkers why.
    No, I don’t think the food is bad. No, I am not dieting, I am not looking for ‘something healthy’, I am not counting calories.

    I am eating at work my fruit and yogurt every day, not being restricted to the time when their food arrives, and I am happy.

    I can’t explain to them that I can’t carry such a commitment as decide on a weekend what to eat each day, and have to follow that. What if I don’t feel like that food? What if it’s not what I pictured in my head when ordering? What if I am not hungry? What if I get hungry earlier? And I just can’t do a full meal in the middle of a day and work after that. The meal should be at home, with some rest after it, or in the restaurant, with a good walk before and after, and good conversation during it. And I don’t want to eat a salad if it wasn’t done this very second right here because of frivolous microbiology thoughts. And anyway I prefer to cook myself, when I know perfectly well what it is, how it is done, and I balance the tastes and flavors to my own liking(I like to go to gourmet places somewhere, but it’s not an everyday experience, I doubt I’d be able to eat out every day anyway)

    So, I’ve been asked again and again why wouldn’t I order something for myself, and every time I have to say ‘no, thanks’ and can’t tell why.

    Apparently I am a picky eater.



    @actuallyautistic

    moz ,
    @moz@fosstodon.org avatar

    @olena @DoctorDisco @actuallyautistic I've discovered that small companies are better for me. I can talk to the owner(s) directly and negotiate things without any "I'll see what the boss thinks".

    The flip side is that when it doesn't work out I have to quit.

    Current job we've all agreed that telling the boss medical stuff is BAD. We all got told when someone was doing IVF and that means everyone just says "I'm sick" when they're using sick leave. Literally just that.

    moz ,
    @moz@fosstodon.org avatar

    @olena @DoctorDisco @actuallyautistic The upside is 100% WFH, riding my bicycle to work when I did/do visit the office, they pay for toys "essential work equipment"{cough}, very loose leave and TOIL policies (at one stage someone "owed" 5 weeks annual leave)

    LehtoriTuomo , to ActuallyAutistic group
    @LehtoriTuomo@mementomori.social avatar

    I've never paid much attention to song lyrics. With repeated listening I might learn bits of it but for many songs I've got no clue what they say even after decades of listening. For me, vocals are just another instrument. Still, I've been the vocalist in several bands!

    There's a big difference between Finnish and English lyrics for me. As Finnish is my native language, I find it way easier to decipher lyrics, unlike in English, even though my English is pretty good.

    Now that I know about my auditory processing difficulties, I wonder if it's related to that. How about my fellow autistics? Do you pay attention to lyrics?

    @actuallyautistic

    moz ,
    @moz@fosstodon.org avatar

    @LehtoriTuomo @actuallyautistic I am a lyrics person. I like Ani Difranco for the same reason other people like Bob Dylan. Ditto political rap. There's music I like purely because of the lyrics.

    And I had an argument with someone about whether Song to the Siren even has intelligible lyrics.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFWKJ2FUiAQ

    (that's the proper Song to the Siren, I don't care what anyone else says)

    chevalier26 , to ActuallyAutistic group
    @chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

    @actuallyautistic Do y'all know if it's an autistic trait to be super skeptical of stuff? Like, for example, my parents watch some questionable "health" people on YouTube, and when they show me a video from said people, I can tell IMMEDIATELY that they are grifters in it for money. Idk what gives it away but it's like a flashing warning sign in my brain.

    I wonder if it has to do with social influence and the effects of charisma/agreeableness that NDs might not fall for.

    moz ,
    @moz@fosstodon.org avatar

    @maxthyme @chevalier26 @actuallyautistic

    This line from a song really sticks with me for similar reasons to you:

    "Respect can't be demanded, it has to be inspired
    A stick won't make that donkey work, it's a carrot that's required"

    The song is kind of fun too: https://youtu.be/TJDLdyylz3M?t=10

    moz ,
    @moz@fosstodon.org avatar

    @woozle @maggiejk @chevalier26 @actuallyautistic with academics it can be the language too. One of the gates academia uses is the jargon and framing that marks insiders from outsiders. So when academics meet ideas that aren't dressed up with the rights words they habitually disregard them.

    It's difficult if you're in a field that attracts cranks because you see so many perpetual motion machines or whatever. But also ideas from unrelated fields that are very real.

    moz ,
    @moz@fosstodon.org avatar

    @woozle @maggiejk @chevalier26 @actuallyautistic Philosophy Tube is great. I'm a Nebula subscriber so I get her a stuff a week before the peasants do :)

    DoomsdaysCW , to ActuallyAutistic group
    @DoomsdaysCW@kolektiva.social avatar

    So, it's cool enough that I finally have the urge to put on my zippered hooded sweatshirt again. Part of my involves being comfortable with fabric against my skin -- and not having that (and having to wear short sleeve shirts) has been unbearable. That means it's way too hot for me.
    cc: @actuallyautistic

    moz ,
    @moz@fosstodon.org avatar

    @CatDragon @DoomsdaysCW @actuallyautistic I'm a pasty white person in Australia. The sun, it burns.

    Unless there's shade I need clothing to stop the sunburn, but if there's shade and cultural support I'll happily go nude or near-nude when it's 40°C or more.

    I've cycle toured in the northern bits of Australia with just my eyes showing (I wear glasses... maybe not even eyes). 40°C is not especially warm up there in summer.

    40°C in Sydney where I live is getting more common.

    moz ,
    @moz@fosstodon.org avatar

    @DoomsdaysCW @CatDragon @actuallyautistic the early wet season in Darwin is awful. You get the heat and the humid. But that's the same all the way to the equator, except that lot of people don't have aircon so {urk}.

    Sydney has a lot of coastal areas where it's milder, but the western bits get pretty nasty. Dry heat but ugly if you don't have aircon or a well designed house (Australia does not have well designed houses unless you're rich and also lucky in your choice of architect)

    moz ,
    @moz@fosstodon.org avatar

    @DoomsdaysCW @CatDragon @actuallyautistic here's a blog post I wrote in 2019 about air quality more than tempterature: https://www.uradmonitor.com/smoggie-in-sydney/

    Annoyingly I can't work out how to get the 2019-2020 temperatures from my device off that site. It gives me max of 49°C in Jan 2020, but no graph.

    filmfreak75 , to ActuallyAutistic group
    @filmfreak75@mastodon.social avatar

    @actuallyautistic any advice on how to tactfully tell co-workers who are excessively using Teams chat that you’re not interested in the chatter without coming across as “uncooperative", “rude", “not a team player" etc.

    moz ,
    @moz@fosstodon.org avatar

    @filmfreak75 @actuallyautistic "could we please start a non-work channel so it's easier to find work related comments?"

    chevalier26 , to ActuallyAutistic group
    @chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

    @actuallyautistic Maybe y’all can help me with this question:

    Over the past few months I have really been ruminating on what “masculinity” and “femininity” even are, and those terms are mostly defined by stereotypes. Like, I know I’m a woman but I’ve always felt like “just some guy.” I’ve never had dysphoria or anything, and I have a biblical understanding of sexuality, but cultural ideas about gender make no sense to me. All of this is so confusing. Any ideas?

    moz ,
    @moz@fosstodon.org avatar

    @llewelly @chevalier26 @actuallyautistic I find thinking of social interaction as a sexual selection red queen race helpful.

    The "goal" is to select the most socially able people. They become the most popular. By successfully navigating an ever-changing maze of social cues.

    The "goal" is to make a social species that can live together in large numbers. Societies without that goal die, often horribly. So even without that as an explicit goal, they all have it.

    chevalier26 , to ActuallyAutistic group
    @chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

    @actuallyautistic How do y’all deal with people who say that autism doesn’t even exist, and that it “suddenly” cropped up over the past few generations because people have been “mentally coddled”? Somewhat in the same vein as “there is a diagnosis epidemic” but much more extreme.

    moz ,
    @moz@fosstodon.org avatar

    @manu @chevalier26 @actuallyautistic My grandfathers were both grumpy old bastards. In one case in and out of surgery while they fished shrapnel out, but the other one was blue collar and worked until he couldn't. I'm certain that a lot of his grumpy came from never-ending pain.

    Being made deaf by his job did not help, hearing aids were unavailable and sign language wasn't taught to used up grunts, so he just got left to deal with it as best he could.

    Coddled he was not.

    chevalier26 , to ActuallyAutistic group
    @chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

    @actuallyautistic Does it bother anyone else when someone folds your laundry for you? I do appreciate the effort and the intention, but half the time I have to go back and refold everything because it wasn’t folded the way I need it to be for me to put it away or organize it properly. I would rather just do all the folding myself lol. Idk, I know that probably seems selfish but it does irk me sometimes.

    moz ,
    @moz@fosstodon.org avatar

    @ScottSoCal @chevalier26 @actuallyautistic I roll towels, including kitchen towels. That's compact and easy, and works better when there are multiple sizes. I do the same with sheets, which is less ideal since I have both single and king single sheets (those are not compatible with each other). But king vs any single is obvious so it mostly works.

    Plus I can do it out at the clothesline, often as I take things off the line. So I get a bin of dry laundry to hurl onto the pile.

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