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moz

@[email protected]

A lifelong resident of Yaramulla near Sydney, rides weird bikes and codes when bored. Entertains chickens for fun.

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olena , to ActuallyAutistic group
@olena@mementomori.social avatar

We got free lunches at work: on the weekend, they send the menu, people choose between three options for each of two meals for each workday, and the food is delivered every day fresh from a restaurant nearby(not a fancy one, typical “homemade” food). If you need, they provide options for vegans or food restricting diets.

I am the only person in the office not doing that. I cannot explain to my coworkers why.
No, I don’t think the food is bad. No, I am not dieting, I am not looking for ‘something healthy’, I am not counting calories.

I am eating at work my fruit and yogurt every day, not being restricted to the time when their food arrives, and I am happy.

I can’t explain to them that I can’t carry such a commitment as decide on a weekend what to eat each day, and have to follow that. What if I don’t feel like that food? What if it’s not what I pictured in my head when ordering? What if I am not hungry? What if I get hungry earlier? And I just can’t do a full meal in the middle of a day and work after that. The meal should be at home, with some rest after it, or in the restaurant, with a good walk before and after, and good conversation during it. And I don’t want to eat a salad if it wasn’t done this very second right here because of frivolous microbiology thoughts. And anyway I prefer to cook myself, when I know perfectly well what it is, how it is done, and I balance the tastes and flavors to my own liking(I like to go to gourmet places somewhere, but it’s not an everyday experience, I doubt I’d be able to eat out every day anyway)

So, I’ve been asked again and again why wouldn’t I order something for myself, and every time I have to say ‘no, thanks’ and can’t tell why.

Apparently I am a picky eater.



@actuallyautistic

moz ,
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@olena @DoctorDisco @actuallyautistic I've discovered that small companies are better for me. I can talk to the owner(s) directly and negotiate things without any "I'll see what the boss thinks".

The flip side is that when it doesn't work out I have to quit.

Current job we've all agreed that telling the boss medical stuff is BAD. We all got told when someone was doing IVF and that means everyone just says "I'm sick" when they're using sick leave. Literally just that.

moz ,
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@olena @DoctorDisco @actuallyautistic The upside is 100% WFH, riding my bicycle to work when I did/do visit the office, they pay for toys "essential work equipment"{cough}, very loose leave and TOIL policies (at one stage someone "owed" 5 weeks annual leave)

LehtoriTuomo , to ActuallyAutistic group
@LehtoriTuomo@mementomori.social avatar

I've never paid much attention to song lyrics. With repeated listening I might learn bits of it but for many songs I've got no clue what they say even after decades of listening. For me, vocals are just another instrument. Still, I've been the vocalist in several bands!

There's a big difference between Finnish and English lyrics for me. As Finnish is my native language, I find it way easier to decipher lyrics, unlike in English, even though my English is pretty good.

Now that I know about my auditory processing difficulties, I wonder if it's related to that. How about my fellow autistics? Do you pay attention to lyrics?

@actuallyautistic

moz ,
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@LehtoriTuomo @actuallyautistic I am a lyrics person. I like Ani Difranco for the same reason other people like Bob Dylan. Ditto political rap. There's music I like purely because of the lyrics.

And I had an argument with someone about whether Song to the Siren even has intelligible lyrics.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFWKJ2FUiAQ

(that's the proper Song to the Siren, I don't care what anyone else says)

chevalier26 , to ActuallyAutistic group
@chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Do y'all know if it's an autistic trait to be super skeptical of stuff? Like, for example, my parents watch some questionable "health" people on YouTube, and when they show me a video from said people, I can tell IMMEDIATELY that they are grifters in it for money. Idk what gives it away but it's like a flashing warning sign in my brain.

I wonder if it has to do with social influence and the effects of charisma/agreeableness that NDs might not fall for.

moz ,
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@maxthyme @chevalier26 @actuallyautistic

This line from a song really sticks with me for similar reasons to you:

"Respect can't be demanded, it has to be inspired
A stick won't make that donkey work, it's a carrot that's required"

The song is kind of fun too: https://youtu.be/TJDLdyylz3M?t=10

moz ,
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@woozle @maggiejk @chevalier26 @actuallyautistic with academics it can be the language too. One of the gates academia uses is the jargon and framing that marks insiders from outsiders. So when academics meet ideas that aren't dressed up with the rights words they habitually disregard them.

It's difficult if you're in a field that attracts cranks because you see so many perpetual motion machines or whatever. But also ideas from unrelated fields that are very real.

moz ,
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@woozle @maggiejk @chevalier26 @actuallyautistic Philosophy Tube is great. I'm a Nebula subscriber so I get her a stuff a week before the peasants do :)

DoomsdaysCW , to ActuallyAutistic group
@DoomsdaysCW@kolektiva.social avatar

So, it's cool enough that I finally have the urge to put on my zippered hooded sweatshirt again. Part of my involves being comfortable with fabric against my skin -- and not having that (and having to wear short sleeve shirts) has been unbearable. That means it's way too hot for me.
cc: @actuallyautistic

moz ,
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@CatDragon @DoomsdaysCW @actuallyautistic I'm a pasty white person in Australia. The sun, it burns.

Unless there's shade I need clothing to stop the sunburn, but if there's shade and cultural support I'll happily go nude or near-nude when it's 40°C or more.

I've cycle toured in the northern bits of Australia with just my eyes showing (I wear glasses... maybe not even eyes). 40°C is not especially warm up there in summer.

40°C in Sydney where I live is getting more common.

moz ,
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@DoomsdaysCW @CatDragon @actuallyautistic the early wet season in Darwin is awful. You get the heat and the humid. But that's the same all the way to the equator, except that lot of people don't have aircon so {urk}.

Sydney has a lot of coastal areas where it's milder, but the western bits get pretty nasty. Dry heat but ugly if you don't have aircon or a well designed house (Australia does not have well designed houses unless you're rich and also lucky in your choice of architect)

moz ,
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@DoomsdaysCW @CatDragon @actuallyautistic here's a blog post I wrote in 2019 about air quality more than tempterature: https://www.uradmonitor.com/smoggie-in-sydney/

Annoyingly I can't work out how to get the 2019-2020 temperatures from my device off that site. It gives me max of 49°C in Jan 2020, but no graph.

filmfreak75 , to ActuallyAutistic group
@filmfreak75@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic any advice on how to tactfully tell co-workers who are excessively using Teams chat that you’re not interested in the chatter without coming across as “uncooperative", “rude", “not a team player" etc.

moz ,
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@filmfreak75 @actuallyautistic "could we please start a non-work channel so it's easier to find work related comments?"

chevalier26 , to ActuallyAutistic group
@chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Maybe y’all can help me with this question:

Over the past few months I have really been ruminating on what “masculinity” and “femininity” even are, and those terms are mostly defined by stereotypes. Like, I know I’m a woman but I’ve always felt like “just some guy.” I’ve never had dysphoria or anything, and I have a biblical understanding of sexuality, but cultural ideas about gender make no sense to me. All of this is so confusing. Any ideas?

moz ,
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@llewelly @chevalier26 @actuallyautistic I find thinking of social interaction as a sexual selection red queen race helpful.

The "goal" is to select the most socially able people. They become the most popular. By successfully navigating an ever-changing maze of social cues.

The "goal" is to make a social species that can live together in large numbers. Societies without that goal die, often horribly. So even without that as an explicit goal, they all have it.

chevalier26 , to ActuallyAutistic group
@chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic How do y’all deal with people who say that autism doesn’t even exist, and that it “suddenly” cropped up over the past few generations because people have been “mentally coddled”? Somewhat in the same vein as “there is a diagnosis epidemic” but much more extreme.

moz ,
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@manu @chevalier26 @actuallyautistic My grandfathers were both grumpy old bastards. In one case in and out of surgery while they fished shrapnel out, but the other one was blue collar and worked until he couldn't. I'm certain that a lot of his grumpy came from never-ending pain.

Being made deaf by his job did not help, hearing aids were unavailable and sign language wasn't taught to used up grunts, so he just got left to deal with it as best he could.

Coddled he was not.

Tim_McTuffty , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 230 , Friday 14/06/2024

I am going to shamelessly nick an idea of a dear friend & my left big toe will henceforth be known as ‘Geoff the Gouty Great Toe! (Big toes used to be called Great toes back in the olden days seemingly)

An awful night last night I ate something that Geoff really disapproved of & he was not shy in putting forth his view ! I took his disapproval for an hour then medicated his ass with some codeine & paracetamol.

Up early this morning despite the disturbed night & Mrs S. being on holiday. Pavlov’s Squirrel !

Had a fairly easy morning & rested my poor,sore tootsies.

It struck me this morning in the light of the last couple of days entries that there is one major problem with yon Social Prescriber getting me to go to this Social Cafe …. They are not providing me with the tools to cope with this first!

One of my NT guides pointed out ,& I’m paraphrasing here, that just because I can do the whole socialising thing doesn’t mean I should. There is such a concept as ‘too much of a good thing’.

I remember the last time I was in a prescribed ‘social’ situation - attending the Cardio rehab course after my MI. Long story short , it was a disaster , I ended up storming out on the penultimate session because the social pressures were too much!

Today ,online, one of my prominent traits showed up - I can be very blunt at times, I fail to ease my point into a conversation - my NT brain proffering to ‘hammer home’ the point rather than be more subtle & gentle.
My ASD diagnosis report picks up on this & makes the point that it can ,& indeed has, trip me up in social situations!

If I decide that I really do want to move out of my current comfort zone into a more physically social one then I need to work with the various health professionals to get the sequence right & get the tool kit first!

Tonight I felt that I struck a decent compromise for tea. I did have pizza , but Ham n mushroom not a meat feast - I felt the latter might be taunting the gout gods just a little too much.

At this point Geoff is quite happy so long as I don’t try anything too athletic. Hopefully that will continue thru tonight!

Final Thoughts.

Geoff has made his views very clear on the whole diet thing, namely that he is in charge!

Is it a good thing or a bad thing I have anthropomorphised my big toe ? Is this an indicator that I should resist mixing directly with the rest of the human race?

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic

moz ,
@moz@fosstodon.org avatar

@Tim_McTuffty @actuallyautistic foot thumb is my preference.

chevalier26 , to ActuallyAutistic group
@chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Does it bother anyone else when someone folds your laundry for you? I do appreciate the effort and the intention, but half the time I have to go back and refold everything because it wasn’t folded the way I need it to be for me to put it away or organize it properly. I would rather just do all the folding myself lol. Idk, I know that probably seems selfish but it does irk me sometimes.

moz ,
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@chevalier26 @ScottSoCal @actuallyautistic I have drawers for small things like socks and undies. I have few enough shorts, skirts and trousers that they get hung up or stacked separately, then tops go in a pile. And in a bin. And on a shelf.

I pair gloves because those are annoying to find, and thick socks because they're annoying to have in the pile of thin socks.

I can fold shirts fast from working doing that, but it feels like a waste of time.

So... it's organised, but not folded.

moz ,
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@ScottSoCal @chevalier26 @actuallyautistic I roll towels, including kitchen towels. That's compact and easy, and works better when there are multiple sizes. I do the same with sheets, which is less ideal since I have both single and king single sheets (those are not compatible with each other). But king vs any single is obvious so it mostly works.

Plus I can do it out at the clothesline, often as I take things off the line. So I get a bin of dry laundry to hurl onto the pile.

snoopy_jay , to ActuallyAutistic group German
@snoopy_jay@mastodon.world avatar

@actuallyautistic To those who do not (!) have children: Is family important to you? I can not say that my family has mistreated me in any way or not accepted me the way I am, and yet I am drifting away further and further every year. I think I haven't seen any of them in, like, 7 years? I think I just don't like spending time with humans, related or not? 🫥

moz ,
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@alexisbushnell @snoopy_jay @actuallyautistic I'm used to the queer "chosen family" stuff because I was 18 in the 1980's where AIDS was ripping communities part and having chosen family around kept people alive.

In retrospect I've spent a lot of time and effort looking for "people like me" and it's fucking weird finding it. I'm grateful, and think "kids today" are so fucking lucky not to have the filters that I somehow survived. Let's not put those back.

autism101 , to ActuallyAutistic group
@autism101@mstdn.social avatar

Do you have any clothing routines? I own eight gray plain t-shirts with no tags which I love. I often will just wear them over and over again.

@actuallyautistic

moz ,
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@octonion @autism101 @actuallyautistic I'm a filthy hippy... I use very little soap and since I'm a guy I can get away with a buzzcut and almost never using shampoo (did you know that it separates if you don't shake it every few months?)

For me just avoiding anything scented works pretty well. And using white vinegar to clean stuff (including putting half a cup in the washing machine after smeone put enstinkerated detergent through it).

moz ,
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@roknrol @autism101 @actuallyautistic I used to work part time for a guy who printed political T shirts. His employee theft policy was "you don't have enough shirts. Here, take this one". I have probably 100 T shirts 10 years later. They're basically all I wear.

My clothing is more "what's cheap that I can put up with", so I have quite a lot of found and donated clothing. People I know say "this has a stain or a hole, I can't wear it any more but Moz will" and they're right :)

moz ,
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@Zumbador @octonion @autism101 @actuallyautistic so I'm not the only one that uses about 1/4 of the recommended amount of detergents and other cleaners! Yay!

Homeopathic quantities are too little, but just barely enough is closer to that than to the manufacturer recommendation.

moz ,
@moz@fosstodon.org avatar

@DoctorDisco @autism101 @actuallyautistic I am someone who can rarely even use soap and smell fine. Others not so much. Apparently it's your skin bacteria.

Had a gf who was stunned to discover that, and when she performed the experiment it turned out that a couple of days later she developed a sharp, not entirely pleasant, scent. She went back to soap+deodorant at that point.

That was educational for both of us. In the "people like Moz really exist" sense.

chevalier26 , to ActuallyAutistic group
@chevalier26@mastodon.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Somehow got into an argument earlier about fractions with my parents, especially the fraction 15/16. I said that 7.5/8 is the same thing as 15/16, because they can be converted to each other by multiplying or dividing the numerator and denominator by 2.

My mom basically said, no, that's not right because it's not a "proper fraction" which doesn't make sense to me. The math checks out, and numerators can have decimal integers. Is there something I'm missing?

moz ,
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@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic "proper fraction" is a mathematical term too: https://www.mathsisfun.com/proper-fractions.html (the rest are improper fractions. No, really).

Typically people either use decimals or fractions, not both. The combo is kind of weird because if you're going to use decimals just use decimals. 3.5/5 or 0.7... you might as well just use the latter.

The real fun is prime denominators because that tweaks people who use imperial units. It's not 15/32nds of a furlong, it's 8/17ths.

moz ,
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@chevalier26 @katrinakatrinka @uss_oatmeal @actuallyautistic what happens with 17/16?

Error: system, on fire?

moz ,
@moz@fosstodon.org avatar

@chevalier26 @katrinakatrinka @uss_oatmeal @actuallyautistic I suppose she should be grateful they don't use a gauge system, where bigger numbers are thinner stock (until they aren't).

And yes, you get 0.5 gauge. Or maybe 1/2 gauge. I have never had to find out.

Actually, with wire it's zero gauge, then zero zero gauge. Because division by zero has never ever caused any problem anwhere.

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