esc27 ,

I read that as commandlets and now I'm worried Powershell has given me brain damage...

  1. if ((Get-God).Count -gt 1){Set-God -Identity "YHWH"}
  2. Get-Idol | Remove-Idol
  3. foreach($godsname in ((Get-God).Name){ if (($speech -like "$godsname") -and ($speech.vain)) {$speech = ""}}
  4. Set-Reminder -Start (Get-Date "06/29/2024") -Reoccurance 7 -Subject "Holy"
  5. Set-Person -Relation "Mother" -Honor $true; Set-Person -Relation "Father" -Honor $true;
  6. $murder = $false
  7. $adultry = $false
  8. $stealing = $false
  9. if ((Get-Truth $speech) -eq $false){$speech = ""}
  10. $NoCovet=(Get-Property -SearchDepth 2) + (Get-Person -Relation "Neighbor")
Lets_Eat_Grandma ,

i'm so sorry.

clutchtwopointzero ,

PowerShell is an objectively ugly language to read

kamenoko ,
@kamenoko@sh.itjust.works avatar

The Old Testament is a founding document for the kingdoms of Israel and Judah that establishes their lineage from the original humans to legendary Kings. Plus a bunch of laws, instructions for worship and whatnot.

People just took it too seriously and now we murder eachother over our imaginary friends.

lemming ,

I very quickly checked wikipedia, because I couldn't easily identify the extra one. It lists all 16 of the 10 commandments... The table looks like different branches of christianity bundle some of them together (mostly various coveting) or don't even consider the first and last a commandment, so they always only count to ten. So it's an easy mistake to make.

But the fact that they couldn't even count the paragraphs is riddiculous.

Jimmyeatsausage ,

Seems like the sort of thing people should know about a central tenet of a pillar of their identity...

the_joeba ,

But then they'd have to stop eating shrimp, so...

Cethin ,

More importantly, they'd have to stop the most sacred of Christian traditions: throwing a pigskin around while assaulting each other.

ChickenLadyLovesLife ,

As Moses said, "fuck the Cowboys".

ours ,

The Lord giveth and taketh away Red Lobster.

snooggums ,
@snooggums@midwest.social avatar

The lord didn't take Red Lobster away.

Vulture capitalists did.

tacosplease ,

No no. That's from the old testament. Those rules don't count anymore now that there is the new testament.

realizes ten commandments are from the old testament

This was done by the jews. I always knew they controlled everything.

tacosplease ,

Not a good look when something as solid as the ten commandments doesn't line up between groups with similar beliefs.

Might make some folks want to look under the hood. That certainly won't increase church attendance.

lemming ,

They are the same, just divided to 10 differently.

AeonFelis ,

The text of the Ten Commandments ... shall be printed in a large, easily readable font.

Comic Sans it is.

ChickenLadyLovesLife ,

No ... Wingdings.

AeonFelis ,

How is Wingdings "easily readable"?

RvTV95XBeo , (edited )

How about Arabic? Or Chinese, simplified Chinese is read by like a billion people, so clearly easily readable, it even has simplified in the name!

AeonFelis ,

Wouldn't work. The law clearly specifies the exact text, and it's in English.

Krzd ,
@Krzd@lemmy.world avatar

Can you write English with Chinese characters?

XTL ,

People certainly try with Cyrillic. And kanji?

gentooer , (edited )

Cyrillic seems really difficult with all the vowel shifts, English doesn't even make sense in its own alphabet. Something like "Ай эм де лорд, дай год." then?

bamfic ,

Er, hebrew?

shasta ,

It is easily readable wingdings. It doesn't say it has to be easily understood or interpreted.

randon31415 ,

Come on year of Jubilee! At least do the law against charging interest on loans!

Anyways, ya, the 11 are group the first two or the last two. If you group the first two, you sort of lessen the impact of "I am your god" with stuff about idols - but if you group the last two "don't covet your neighbors property, such as: wife, house, horses, etc..." you basically are saying wives are property.

Denjin ,

I wonder if the poster they have to put up will show a picture of Jesus. Evangelicals sure do love those graven images.

AngryCommieKender ,

They're the type to use a picture of Ewan McGregor as Obi Wan

Potatos_are_not_friends ,

You joke but if you want to troll Bible nuts at protests, absolutely carry a picture of Obi Wan as Jesus. Aragorn works too.

Or go wild and have Black Jesus.

AngryCommieKender ,

I go even further. Jesus was a direct decendant of David, and so is this guy, so Middle Eastern Jesus it is.

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/d0af3aed-e15d-4165-b03d-cc196ffb6d8f.jpeg

numberfour002 ,

I mean aren't numbers invented by Arabics anyway? What's the point at ending with 9 and 10 when they could go full 9 and 11? /s

punseye ,

Invented by Hindus in India, spread by Arabs.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hindu-Arabic_numeral_system

zakobjoa ,
@zakobjoa@lemmy.world avatar

That joke flew over your head into a large office building.

Maalus ,

I don't think so, it just wasn't funny

Flax_vert ,
Maalus ,

K

Maggoty ,

Haha, a racism! Much funny!

Potatos_are_not_friends ,

Ewww Arab numbers in MY FREEDOM LANGUAGE?!

pineapplelover ,

How the fuck is this not illegal?

NikkiDimes ,

It is illegal.

zakobjoa , (edited )
@zakobjoa@lemmy.world avatar

[Thread, post or comment was deleted by the author]

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  • koper ,

    Law is more complicated than quoting bits of text that you like. You actually have to consider other texts (the fourteenth amendment made the bill of rights applicable to states) and case law (Everson v. Board of education confirms that states and school districts can't support specific religious activities).

    No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

    TheHowTM ,
    @TheHowTM@lemmy.world avatar

    The Establishment clause has applied to state law since 1947.

    Maggoty ,

    There is debate on this like there's debate on climate change. 9/10 legal scholars agree that the 14th amendment burdened the states with the same protections of rights as the federal government. That's why you're being downvoted. This is taught in grade school.

    frezik ,

    There isn't a debate.

    The 14th amendment provided for the US Constitution to be incorporated down to the state level. The intent seems to have been to bring it all in together, but the US Supreme Court eventually decided on a more piecemeal approach. As cases came through about specific sections of the Constitution, the Court would decide if the section in question applied to the states. For the Establishment Clause in question here, that happened in 1947.

    So yes, the text of the Establishment Clause specifically refers to federal Congress, but the 14th amendment then steps in and says it applies to the states.

    Incidentally, the 2nd amendment wasn't incorporated until 2008. If states didn't otherwise have an equivalent section to their constitution (some do, some don't), they could have put up whatever gun control measures they wanted.

    Maggoty ,

    Clearly it's not religious since they added another commandment.

    HobbitFoot ,

    Just because it is illegal doesn't mean you can't do it.

    ZILtoid1991 ,

    It's illegal, but good luck with the current supreme court!

    Melvin_Ferd , (edited )

    Would be cool if leftists had jobs other than minimum wage non authoritative ones then we could have lawyers and judges that figured out ways to culture jam this stuff and make Republicans eat shit instead of the other way around.

    FlyingSquid ,
    @FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

    For those who do not know, in Exodus, Moses gets pissed off, smashes the tablets people today call the Ten Commandments, goes back up the mountain and Yaweh has him carve new ones with different laws on them. Those laws are the only laws called "Ten Commandments" in the Bible.

    They include:

    Three times a year all your men are to appear before the Sovereign Lord, the God of Israel. [Good luck with that]

    Do not offer the blood of a sacrifice to me along with anything containing yeast

    “Do not cook a young goat in its mother’s milk.

    As the end of the chapter says:

    Moses was there with the Lord forty days and forty nights without eating bread or drinking water. And he wrote on the tablets the words of the covenant—the Ten Commandments.

    https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus%2034&version=NIV

    The Bible cannot be more clear on this point, but it's always ignored.

    Linkerbaan ,
    @Linkerbaan@lemmy.world avatar

    “The first offspring of every womb belongs to me, including all the firstborn males of your livestock, whether from herd or flock. 20 Redeem the firstborn donkey with a lamb, but if you do not redeem it, break its neck. Redeem all your firstborn sons.

    https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/3a578712-6fab-4c21-b4d7-0cc1a9b70953.png

    dhork ,

    Moses : The Lord, the Lord Jehovah has given unto you these fifteen...

    [drops one of the tablets]

    Moses : Oy! Ten! Ten commandments for all to obey

    subignition ,
    @subignition@fedia.io avatar

    I love this because what if actually? What if there's literally a buzzfeed tier list of five things to do we're missing for a utopian society? And mankind fucked it like we always do.

    Lost_My_Mind ,

    Thats assuming you're saying religion would have brought us utopia.

    subignition ,
    @subignition@fedia.io avatar

    For the sake of this wild fantasy, yeah. I'm not gonna be too picky

    Who's to say commandment wasn't "lmao jk ok but for real just these four things:"

    corsicanguppy ,

    You want the Council of Nicea where a pagan edited the Bible by decapitating people expressing ideas he didn't want in it.

    NeptuneOrbit ,

    God gave plenty more laws in the next few books of the Bible. The famous commandments about not mixing fabrics or cutting your hair? Yeah Moses of the Ten Commandments is behind that book too.

    MrsDoyle ,

    What's funny is that (according to the old testament) when Moses came down off the mountain with the tablets and found everyone worshipping the golden calf, he had a big hissy fit and smashed them. So then after doing quite a bit of murdering he had to go back up the mountain to get a second set. Exodus 32-34

    I asked a religious relative how it was ok for Moses to murder people when he had only just be told by God himself "thou shalt not kill", and she said it was because the don't kill thing came further down the list than having only the one god.

    match ,
    @match@pawb.social avatar

    Asimov's Ten Laws of Holy Robotics

    FiskFisk33 , (edited )

    The bible seems to consider it murder only if it's another christian.

    [if someone] has gone and served other gods and worshiped them, [...] you shall stone that man or woman to death with stones.

    -Deuteronomy 17:2-5

    If your brother, the son of your mother, or your son or your daughter or the wife you embrace or your friend who is as your own soul entices you secretly, saying, ‘Let us go and serve other gods,’ [...] you shall kill him. Your hand shall be first against him to put him to death.

    -Deuteronomy 13:6-10

    ChickenLadyLovesLife ,

    you shall stone that man or woman to death with stones

    Pretty specific - I guess that closes the "get them high" loophole.

    FiskFisk33 ,

    I hope you interpret "to death" as an euphemism in that case hah

    frezik ,

    Moses: WTF is a "Christian"?

    FiskFisk33 ,

    Right, that wasn't the right word there, but you get what I mean.

    Artyom ,

    Hmb while I go kill someone for not keeping the holy sabbath day and honoring their father and mother cuz god recommended it.

    ASeriesOfPoorChoices ,

    we don't know if the "don't murder" thing was on the original list.

    rwhitisissle ,

    As a note, the Israelites would in later generations go on to kill a shitload of people. It's one of those things where it seems like the Bible only really considers it murder if God doesn't sanction it. It's honestly one of the many sticking points that makes Abrahamic religions a hard sell for modern individuals. That said, if you look at it from a historical perspective, it really comes across more like a religious version of the Code of Hammurabi. It's less "don't kill" as a philosophical or religious position and more about sanctions against killing in a practical legal sense. A functioning society has laws that formally govern behavior and the Israelites were essentially an ecclesiarchy, with Moses being both head of state and high priest. The same laws that governed social life were always going to intersect with laws that governed spiritual life.

    funkless_eck ,

    Moses himself commands an army to genocide before and after Mt Sinai

    lurch ,

    there's a base n joke somewhere in there

    Jimmyeatsausage ,

    That means something totally different in Louisiana than you intended...

    EvilBit ,

    There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

    1dan ,
    @1dan@mastodon.social avatar

    @EvilBit @lurch ... and those who didn't see a trinary joke coming.

    Cosmicomical ,

    And those that didn't see a quaternary joke coming

    And those that didn't see a quinary joke coming

    ...

    PlexSheep ,

    If you say base "10", what does that mean? You'd have to know the base that "10" was meant to be in. It could be binary, octal, decimal, hexadecimal, any number. It does not even need to be a natural number, you can use negative numbers, fractional numbers, negative fractional numbers, irrational numbers, even complex numbers as a base.

    Base 10 does mean nothing and everything.

    FlyingSquid ,
    @FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

    There's also a Spinal Tap joke.

    HubertManne ,

    I mean originally there were 15.

    bazus1 ,
    Croquette ,

    ... 10 commandments

    fsxylo ,

    My favorite joke from that movie.

    I can't remember if it's the same movie, but the scene where Moses gets mugged is also a highlight for me.

    lambda ,
    @lambda@programming.dev avatar

    What am I missing? What is this movie?

    fsxylo ,

    History of the world pt 1

    lambda ,
    @lambda@programming.dev avatar

    Thanks. I might have to watch that.

    FlyingSquid ,
    @FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

    Do. It's Mel Brooks at the height of his career.

    I do not recommend, however, the recent sequel TV series.

    n3m37h ,

    How is there 11 When there should clearly be only 2 commandments

    brygphilomena ,
    Boozilla , (edited )
    @Boozilla@lemmy.world avatar

    Louisiana: basic literacy is not their strong suit.

    homesweethomeMrL ,

    suit but agreed. Edumacation was never one of the original thirteen commandiments.

    Boozilla ,
    @Boozilla@lemmy.world avatar

    Ha! Corrected. Thanks.

    cheese_greater ,

    This is my favorite bulkshit word lol. Ain't nobody axxed but they it is

    baduhai ,
    @baduhai@sopuli.xyz avatar

    basic literacy is not their strong suite.

    Oof.

    Boozilla ,
    @Boozilla@lemmy.world avatar

    Woops. At least I didn't confuse Iraq with Ukraine....this time.

    Lost_My_Mind ,

    .........that you George?

    Boozilla ,
    @Boozilla@lemmy.world avatar

    On the internet, nobody knows you're the 43rd president, just trying to put food on your family.

    corsicanguppy ,

    That comma could have been anything else and it would been a valid sentence.

    Boozilla ,
    @Boozilla@lemmy.world avatar

    Well, that's what I get for punching down on our gumbo-eating friends.

    Illuminostro ,

    How dare you. We read real good in Goatfuck Holler!

    ASeriesOfPoorChoices ,

    *numeracy is the word you're looking for.

    you're not wrong though, literacy is also not their strong suit :)

    littlebluespark ,
    @littlebluespark@lemmy.world avatar

    In Louisiana, they think numeracy is what gets you run outta town or burned alive, and they're not entirely wrong there either, historically speaking.

    thbb ,

    No, numeracy is when you draw cards to see the future.

    littlebluespark ,
    @littlebluespark@lemmy.world avatar

    No, numeracy is when you goin' around in public and ain't got no clothes on.

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