I hate it. Sure. Being called a retard isn't great, but having people claim ASDs are just a different way of thinking is downplaying problems. Oh how quirky we are!
If I wasn't retarded, I would have been able to study properly instead of relying on hyperfocus and high ascociative thinking. I would have graduated. If I wasn't retarded, I would have been able to do things consistently and perseveer. Instead, I lose and gain weight over and over. I'm going to develop diabetes at this rate. Going to a 24/7 open gym is the only chance I got at staving off the problems caused by depression and my dopamine hunger induced eating disorder. If I wasn't retarded, people would have appreciated me more. Instead, I am too much. Say too much. Exist too much. Even when I predict something, or suggest something that people think was good, they believe someone else in the group thought of it.
Furthermore, downplaying the issues could have people mistake just how capable people with autism/ADHD are. People shouldn't think that starting a family with someone autistic is just "going to be a little different." People seriously ought to reconsider marrying someone lacking theory of mind skills. And autists should seriously reconsider whether or not they are suitable parents. Baby cries? Can't have a meltdown. Baby needs consistent care? Better not have exec. dys. inhibiting your jobsecurity and energy management. Need to be able to get on the level of the child, make the child feel heard and understood? Sucks for the kid if the parent lacks that ability too. Both my parents are autistic/AD(H)D, and were downright neglectful and one abusive. They have no real friends. They struggle with emotional regulation and communication. I've been working my ass off to become better than them.
I don't care what people call having multiple mental disabilities. What's important is helping children on the spectrum. Early detection could have spared me further brain damage and subsequent stacking of developmental problems.
Unfortunately. AD(H)D does impact brain development. People have brains that are and wothout care remain underdeveloped in a few regions, as well as the connections between these regions. So the use of retard is correct.
I can't blame people for not wasting energy on a child that needs a lot more structure, support and training.
As for relationships. They do ask things that people on the spectrum struggle with. From being able to put oneself in the other's shoes, to being aware of how they feel themselves about a situation. Struggling with emotional regulation can also cause problems, while not being aware that what they said or did wasn't okay.
Take my dad for example. He destroyed family ties between my mother and his side of the family. He compartimenalized me as part of "mom's" side. Reducing what little family connection I had. All because of hypersensitivity and not wanting to be around "too many people" once a year for christmas. So to this day he has two christmas parties. With his family, and us. Even though everyone on "his side" is on the spectrum and would have understood if he communicated about getting overstimulated. No one bothered to ask why, or what my sister and I thought of it. As after all, they struggle with theory of mind.
With such carelessness or lack of awareness, I cannot blame someone for not thinking and just running away. If someone is seemingly shortsighted, unreliable or uncaring, why stay with them? Or starting a relationship with them with no certainty things will improve? It's wrong to believe you can change or fix someone, it is foolish to try when you don't.
The main reasons I've seen from vegans for not eating meat seem to be all about the morality of eating a sentient animal, the practices of the modern meat industry, and the environmental impact of it. And don't have anything to do with the taste of meat....
It's not derived from FBS, FBS is used to feed the cell culture. The stemcells themselves come from other sources of the embryo. So growing meat from meat with serum.
Mammals have fuck all in terms of adaptability tactics. Only way for us to adapt, is mix our genes and hope it suffices. The only way we can do that, is reproduction (funghi are op). Now that means more of us in a system that has limited resources (called carrying capacity). We die in order to prevent competing with our children.
This is the reason animals have different lifespans depending on how likely they are to survive in nature. Take a rat and north american opossum for example. Far apart in terms of evolution and size, but have roughly the same life expectancy due to predation. Wolves can technically live up to 17 years, but become fertile at a very young age because the average lifespan in the wild is 5 years due to disease.
It is also the reason menopause exists. It is rare, and found in elephnts and orca's (both matriarchial species) and humans. This is because the life experience of the matriarch is too valuable. To be able to keep the matriarch around without her being able to compete with her own offspring, infertility is incuded. Post-menopausal orca's pimp out their youngest sons because it is the best way to pass on genetics they have left. Imagine your mom being your finman.
Humans are the odd one out here since we also have andropause, the male equivalent. A paradox on male reproductive strategy. Which afaik doesn't exist anywhere else. This is why humans live so long compared to most mammals. Grandparents are important.
Some animals don't really age. Lobsters simply die from growing too big and unable to get enough oxygen. Some species of octopi stop eating after mating all the way to starving to death. Some animals mate until they die from exhaustion. The immortal jellyfish pretty much recycles itself. And bot just animals need death for renewal. New zealand has a forest which reproduces only after a forest fire. Which happen rarely over hundreds of years due to being in a region with lots of heavy rain. The trees themselves are pretty much immortal, and don't reproduce while living.
Senesence and death are essential for ecosysems and adaptation of life. Regardless of whether or not keeping an aging body alive is hard or possible.
We age because our cells "choose" to. We have the equipment to live on "forever." It's just not our meta.
My mother wanted a child. A family. She was clear about it from the start. My dad didn't. Probably didn't communicate it. He didn't bother using protection either. When my mom got pregnant on the first go, he wanted an abortion. No responsibility.
He tried to hide his autism from my also autistic mother. They didn't understand autism back then. She herself considered aborting me out of fear of having a retarded child. She zoned out for weeks, and when she learned I was a girl, she believed god had blessed her. For she thought girls can't be autistic.
Lo and behold, my sister and I were neglected intellectually, socially, and emotionally. Because they did not understand parents supposed to teach children, not threaten them with a belt when the kid doesn't adhere to their autistic whims/expectations.
We raised ourselves with 0 guidence and am I far behind the average person. They are both not asocial, lonely and happy we exist as a means to reduce their misery.
They should never have had children. Life is a mess.
Now that summer is almost here, I'm looking for better ways to protect myself from the sun. I generally dislike sunscreen, but I do wear it while riding....
I have friends who are Afghan who have had arranged marriages so this led me to be curious to ask, why does this practice still persist into the 21st century?
I remember reading The Moon is a Harsh Mistress. Where criminals were sent there to work. Because of this, there were never enough women. Polyamory was the norm. Except the writer showed one man, married to multiple women. No co-husbands.
I only got halfway the book due to the writer's ceaseless complaing about women. So I am not sure if there are co-husbands at all.
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As an autist. I've had the opposite experience. The girls in high school weren't my friends, but they were nice and let me stay around for safety. I've been bullied by almost exclusively boys. Physically in person and sneakily behind my back over ye ol twitter too.
The place I work at is almost exclusively men except for the wife of the CEO and one admin. The men there gossip and judge people harshly.
I'd take a bear any day. At least those fuckers back down when intimidated or when you pretend to be dead in some cases. I might kill a man who tried to hurt me just to make sure he would never be able to try again. But that's also not a good ending, even if I somehow manage to beat someone stronger.
For me it's always been a huge issue. I am not even that old but I've still noticed a massive change in how autism is seen from when I was growing up until now....
God damn, I feel you. Both my parents are autistic. One has asperger's syndrome and the other possibly ADHD-C and maybe something else too.
Both wanted to know if I was autistic, got me diagnosed and didn't bother reading the diagnosis. I was left with that I "should ask questions more often." They also just made up an answer of their own. My mother pretended I was normal, but punished me for every mistake with verbal abuse and threats of physical violence. Though not to teach me life lessons, but because she couldn't handle things not going according to what she had in mind. My dad projected his asperger's and anxieties onto me because he feels alone. Even though we don't share the same dysfunctions on the spectrum. I don't get overstimulated or meltdowns for example. He did nothing to raise me except for income. All interaction was by my initiative. He didn't want me, but was stuck in an abusive relationship with my abusive mom.
I worked my ass off despite unknown executive dysfunction and 15 consecutive years of depression. Clawed my way out of a cult (summit lighthouse) and did shitty jobs just to teach myself some responsibility regardless of the task. And now? I failed uni once, and am about to fail it twice. Blaming myself for being a lazy cunt the first time. The second time I, put my study on hold to get help. Turns out, I got an outdated unhelpful diagnosis as a kid. Now I am on a waiting list for possible ADHD-I after struggling to get taken seriously by my GP for half a year.
I'm trying to shake my gaming addiction and try to get my brain to learn to "do stuff" despite my 3 forms of neurodivergency and history of abuse. Thank fuck for mental health professionals. Dr. K. has had a major impact on my turn around. As well as some manosphere content that makes me want to beat my past enemies out of pure petty spite. Fuck those assholes.
If I had gotten a proper diagnosis, and parents that weren't so fucking autistic themselves, I probably would have been spared the developmental damages enhanced by the neglect. I'm a one trick pony, and not even good at it.
I am so angry at my folks for having made me on a whim. Then my dad wanting to abort me. My mom considering it, but not doing so because I was a girl. My mom believing girls don't "get" autism. They understand nothing about the world, and never face their problems. Now that they are old, they are struggling with loneliness and uncertainties. And it all falls on my sister and I to try and "save" them. We raised ourselves because our parents are too autistic to be functional people with functional friendships and functional life goals. And now we have to raise them. It's like we have adult children with special needs we didn't ask for.
It's hard to hide the dissappointment when trying to teach them how to overcome some of their issues. Even though I spew enough salt to defrost the roads to hell, I do understand that their problems stem from neglect and trauma too. We try to help them by trying to combat their loneliness. We try to teach them by being scrict, but with the goal to help them understand why some things are not okay, and how to communicate with us. Sticking to practical easy to understand steps. All the while we try to help ourselves navigate life because no one taught us. Teachers not giving a shit either.
All this lack of understanding and actions to meet my special needs(TM), resulted in a 28 years of mostly misery and a massive loss of potential. I was extremely observant and terrefyingly rational. Learned how to reason and bargain before I could count to 10. I conciously changed my way of thinking when observing a conflict between my internal struggles, and what my enviroment portrayed. All in favor of my religious upbringing. I was 4 or 5 at the time. I could take apart anything and put it back together in working order. I wasn't a smart kid, but man would it have helped me if those traits got stimulated.
Now I struggle to keep up with basic life and lack a part of my ability to memorize events on top my autism(s). I barely have enough fight left in me, to bother communicating with nuance. But it helps thinking about who is part of "my tribe." Those are the people I'll fight for.
When I look at my autistic friends who are doing much better, I notice that they got proper guidence since they were young.
It's awkward. You have a problem that autism brings, but at the same time, you can't really use it as an excuse either and say "oh well, can't cure autism!" It's hard to keep looking for options and methods of compensation, especially when faced with so many dead ends. It leads to a lot of self-loathing too. It's easy to think you're screwed because you had a garbage start in life. But at the same time, that belief only drags you down. We can't change our past, or revert the damages. But we can still grow as people. And maybe pave a way for the next set of sad sods struggling with a developmental disorder.
A picture of a man jumping into a lake as his friends look on, with overlaid text saying, "There is a correlation between intelligence and low impulse control".
People with adhd generally have poor academic performance due to lack of impulse control. Those who do perform are either treated with therapy and sometimes stimulants, or they brute force their way through on pure IQ. Cognitive control is very important in getting shit done regardless of intelligence.
Online shop selling USED TAMPONS to strangers: 'Lucrative business'. ( au.news.yahoo.com )
Too bad I'm in menopause.
Is there any real physical proof that Jesus christ ever existed?
Who is a fictional character that is loved you find either overrated or you don't get the appeal ?
Because it takes slightly less mental energy to sit and stress than to do the thing. ( lemmy.world )
Vegans of Lemmy, would you eat lab-grown meat?
The main reasons I've seen from vegans for not eating meat seem to be all about the morality of eating a sentient animal, the practices of the modern meat industry, and the environmental impact of it. And don't have anything to do with the taste of meat....
Why do teeth don't regenerate?
Seems pretty dumb in our biological design to not be able to regenerate such a functional (and also easily breakable) part of our body.
Male birth control breakthrough safely switches off fit sperm for a while ( newatlas.com )
Anyone use "Da Brim" on their helmet? ( lemmy.ca )
Now that summer is almost here, I'm looking for better ways to protect myself from the sun. I generally dislike sunscreen, but I do wear it while riding....
Why do arranged marriages persist in many cultures?
I have friends who are Afghan who have had arranged marriages so this led me to be curious to ask, why does this practice still persist into the 21st century?
That special milk ( sh.itjust.works )
Polyamorule ( files.catbox.moe )
Gonna need to be a full on poly commune at this rate if prices keep going up.
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Is Boeing in big trouble? World's largest aerospace firm faces 10 more whistleblowers after sudden death of two ( www.hindustantimes.com )
That feeling when even Elon Musk thinks you're insufferable ( lemmy.world )
What animals do you dislike for unusual reasons and why?
For me:...
How has lack of education affected your experience with autism?
For me it's always been a huge issue. I am not even that old but I've still noticed a massive change in how autism is seen from when I was growing up until now....
Candyman, Candyman, candy nope ( lemmy.ml )
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-68924955
Andrew Tate and brother Tristan to be tried in Romania on rape and trafficking charges ( www.bbc.com )
Fr(ule)iendly Reminder ( lemmy.sdf.org )
A picture of a man jumping into a lake as his friends look on, with overlaid text saying, "There is a correlation between intelligence and low impulse control".
Watch out for that edge ( lemmy.world )