@actuallyautistic#actuallyautistic In the process of completing my online faculty training course to be a GSA next year...literally EVERYTHING is so vague and confusing.
Emailed the faculty coordinator about it and he told me that I was so ahead in the course that I was outpacing the course administrators. So basically, I'm working ahead so quickly that IT and my course instructor haven't had a chance to update my course info, so that's why everything is confusing.
While I myself am not in any BIPOC demographic the space itself is actively BIPOC led and moderated with BIPOC-specific circles and events. Food for thought if you're being underwhelmed by this place.
I received a message with a link to a local newspaper speaking about autism.
As always they need education on the topic
I had to kindly explain the article about the promotion of aspie supremacy. What bring us to point 1.
We need to better educate journalists on the topic. I see all the time bad and pathologising articles on the subject of autism. It's like autistics aren't human or we have to be cured. It's not fine at all.
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 232 , Sunday 16/06/2024
Woke to a gloriously sunny Sunday morning, with clouds lurking around the edges ready to pounce later in the day.
Got my act into gear around 8am & tumbled out of bed, made breakfast & then relaxed over my coffee until it was time to get showered & changed to cross the hills to Liverpool & visit my brother to celebrate his birthday.
The trip across was thru torrential rain that did not really ease up until we approached the NW coast. The the clouds broke & the sun came out.
We had a great day, I enjoyed it more than I expected to.
My sister was the only fly in the ointment, she is mother to my 2 autistic nephews, she herself is NT , however she started lecturing me on what I was & wasn’t capable of, saying how much more she understood about being autistic than I did …. I was good & kept my peace.
There was lots off lovely food, my Bro is a bit of a BBQ fanatic, not as enthusiastic as @kaybee335 (who is a BBQing god IMHO) but does throw together a mean spread!
I was fairly good, Geoff behaved himself most of the day & I didn’t want to aggravate him too much so just had a little bit of everything & didn’t go mad.
Had the first piece of cake since Easter! It was heaven!
Herself decided that 6:30pm was late enough & that we should go home, to be fair we did have a 2 hour drive home & tomorrow is a work day!
The drive home was ,in stark contrast to this morning’ a lovely drive, fine weather & only got stuck in traffic once. Some nutter in a white transit gave us a scare by overtaking us (me doing the speed limit was just too slow for him! ) in an extremely dubious location & nearly ploughed into the bonnet of the oncoming car for his trouble. I am not too proud to say that I was thinking my time was done for a few seconds there because we would have been intimately involved. His reward, because it was only a 2 lane highway with very few passing places , was that he stayed in the same place in front of us for the next 5 miles until our paths parted ways.
Got home & texted my Bro we had got home safe, he was a little upset to learn that we had had sunny weather all the way home & that we are enjoying a sunny evening as I write. Apparently it started raining ½ an hour after we left. 😆
Final Thoughts.
I enjoyed today a lot more than I thought I would, it does the soul good to have a laugh & joke in the company of those we love.
Why do some NT folk think that they can know more about ND folk than ND folk themselves ???
I am blessed that pretty much all the NT folk I know in the Fediverse do not do this, realising perhaps that while some experiences are very much shared , some really aren’t!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
YouTube, Kommentarsektion unter einem Video über Autismus, beteiligt drei Autist*innen:
Jemand formuliert etwas auf eine Art, die zwei anderen nicht passend erscheint, und die schreiben das auch. Ruhige Aussprache, allgemeines Agreement, fertig.
Sag nochmal jemand, wir seien nicht sozialkompetent. #actuallyautistic @actuallyautistic
Went out to see a friend's gig tonight with my partner. It's rare we get to go see somebody play together and not be playing himself. It was fun, but I'm finding myself restless and impatient now that we're home because I was NOT done socializing when my partner's social battery ran out, partly because I got cornered by another autistic friend who almost never to events because of social anxiety, so I didn't get to socialize with anyone but him until he hit his fill line and left, and there were a few people I'd really wanted to touch base with more while I was there. Trying really hard not to be upset about leaving before I felt done.
@actuallyautistic#actuallyautistic Earlier today I had a conversation/argument with my mom about the mountain laurel tree that is outside my bathroom window at our cabin, which she insisted was NOT a mountain laurel. I said, if you saw mountain laurel flowers would you recognize them? And she said yes, so I showed her photos of the one next to the house and she affirmed that it was a mountain laurel until I told her it was indeed the tree next to the house 🫠 can’t ever win.
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 231 , Saturday 15/06/2024
So Geoff (you remember Geoff, the Gouty Great Left Toe ) was an asshole last night, ended up with him going commando stuck out the end of the bed!
Thankfully being evicted from the bed was enough to calm him & sleep ensued.
Up around 7am, breakfast, chores & knocking around the Fediverse for most of the day.
Out of the blue my Dad rang - he very rarely calls, but like me he is polite to fault & was calling to say thank you for his Father’s Day card.
I’ll catch up with him tomorrow when we go over to Liverpool for my Bro’s birthday.
Geoff is almost certainly gonna disapprove come Monday morning!
Watching Roadhouse (the new version) this evening, a surprisingly good , turn yer brain off movie, lovin the soundtrack too, I hope it’s on one of the streaming services !
Ohhhh on Apple Music! Cool !
Final Thoughts.
I’m a bit worried that I’m missing something - not felt the urge to hit the PlayStation in like 3 days …
Hey ho.
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
I know this is a little a tiny stupid thing but I'm becoming increasingly agitated because my Instagram says that I have a chat message and I have scrolled and everything has been read and that notification will not go away LOL #actuallyautistic#petpeeves
🥲🤭🤪 @actuallyautistic@autisticadvocacy@actuallyadhd
@actuallyautistic#actuallyautistic I’m in shock right now and feel like I could burst into tears…my parents and I are out at lunch, and my mom just asked me out of the blue, “what gives you joy?” And I said, “why are you asking me that?” She essentially responded by telling me that to her, I showed no evidence that I had any joy in my life, and that there is nothing that makes me happy.
@actuallyautistic#actuallyautistic It really bothers me when I tell my friends or family about something that upset me, or an incident that made me feel embarrassed/humiliated and they respond in a way that makes me feel even more upset, embarrassed, and humiliated. Things like “how did you even do that? 😂” or “that’s not even a big deal” don’t help and make me feel even worse. It feels a bit like clapping at a waiter/waitress when they drop a plate.
One of the most frustrating things I find about verbal conversations is how sometimes a conversation feels like it's going on smoothly and then a hiccup happens.
A misunderstanding. An unexpected comment. Maybe two people started talking at the same time. Something like that.
It's like somebody took my brain and shook it like an etch-a-sketch and I've completely forgotten what we're talking about, what I was going to say next, and I'm dysregulated.
And it's a thing I've noticed happens with my partner as well, and when it happens with us at the same time, it's double distressing because the expectation we have is the other has tracked the conversation well enough so we haven't gotten completely lost and can get caught up and get back on track but in reality we both lost the plot and are frustrated with the other for not retaining it.
@actuallyautistic#actuallyautistic One of the hardest things for me growing up was realizing that my confusion every time I got in “trouble” with my parents or my teachers was a disconnect in communication. All my explanations were seen as excuses or worse, “talking back.”
Planning on attending another nearby #pride2024 celebration tomorrow afternoon. It's about an hour's drive each way, and runs from noon until 10pm. I'm hopeful that I will have the requisite #spoons in order to go the day.
Last time, the crowds didn't overwhelm me, which I was pleased by. I assume that had a lot to to do with being around my tribe.
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 230 , Friday 14/06/2024
I am going to shamelessly nick an idea of a dear friend & my left big toe will henceforth be known as ‘Geoff the Gouty Great Toe! (Big toes used to be called Great toes back in the olden days seemingly)
An awful night last night I ate something that Geoff really disapproved of & he was not shy in putting forth his view ! I took his disapproval for an hour then medicated his ass with some codeine & paracetamol.
Up early this morning despite the disturbed night & Mrs S. being on holiday. Pavlov’s Squirrel !
Had a fairly easy morning & rested my poor,sore tootsies.
It struck me this morning in the light of the last couple of days entries that there is one major problem with yon Social Prescriber getting me to go to this Social Cafe …. They are not providing me with the tools to cope with this first!
One of my NT guides pointed out ,& I’m paraphrasing here, that just because I can do the whole socialising thing doesn’t mean I should. There is such a concept as ‘too much of a good thing’.
I remember the last time I was in a prescribed ‘social’ situation - attending the Cardio rehab course after my MI. Long story short , it was a disaster , I ended up storming out on the penultimate session because the social pressures were too much!
Today ,online, one of my prominent traits showed up - I can be very blunt at times, I fail to ease my point into a conversation - my NT brain proffering to ‘hammer home’ the point rather than be more subtle & gentle.
My ASD diagnosis report picks up on this & makes the point that it can ,& indeed has, trip me up in social situations!
If I decide that I really do want to move out of my current comfort zone into a more physically social one then I need to work with the various health professionals to get the sequence right & get the tool kit first!
Tonight I felt that I struck a decent compromise for tea. I did have pizza , but Ham n mushroom not a meat feast - I felt the latter might be taunting the gout gods just a little too much.
At this point Geoff is quite happy so long as I don’t try anything too athletic. Hopefully that will continue thru tonight!
Final Thoughts.
Geoff has made his views very clear on the whole diet thing, namely that he is in charge!
Is it a good thing or a bad thing I have anthropomorphised my big toe ? Is this an indicator that I should resist mixing directly with the rest of the human race?
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
@actuallyautistic#actuallyautistic Does it bother anyone else when someone folds your laundry for you? I do appreciate the effort and the intention, but half the time I have to go back and refold everything because it wasn’t folded the way I need it to be for me to put it away or organize it properly. I would rather just do all the folding myself lol. Idk, I know that probably seems selfish but it does irk me sometimes.
@actuallyautistic Opinions and advice welcomed. Of social media, I'm only here on fediverse. And I've been mostly inactive, due to various reasons. It hasn't served me well, one could say. Probably mostly because I didn't tailor stuff for myself, but followed all those "You're new to Mastodon, here's what you should do" posts. (As a sidenote, if you're neurospicy, don't follow such things in general. Utilize yes, get ideas yes, but they are not meant to be followed!)
Now I'd like (read need, for personal reasons) to get more active, but specifically within the neurodivergent community. So what is an AuDHDer to do?
Ditch this withered generalist account of mine (I'd need to tear it down and start from scratch anyways at least) and hop on some ND instance but still stay on fedi?
Hop over to Bluesky and but just follow other ND folks?
Discord, Ceiling Cat forbid?
Something else?
Like, what has worked best for you, to connect to peers in this kind of setting? What would you recommend? What would you advice against? Mind you, I'm one of those "grew old but didn't grew up" spicyheads so... Yeah, there's that too.
Which instance you are on makes some difference but not a lot (in my opinion) if you're on an instance with a lot of like-minded people you'll see their posts on your local stream, and it's more likely that you'll see more like-minded posts in your "federated" stream. So it does give you a bit of a boost in terms of seeing posts you might like. But not as much as following the group and the hashtag, and gradually building up a good home stream by following people you enjoy reading.
I used to be on some Reddit autism groups but I found those quite fighty so not good for me. r/autisminwomen and r/autism were the main ones I used to visit.
I wouldn't worry too much about changing your current account (if you mean your past posts?) just start as you mean to go on, if that makes sense.
One of the stereotypes with autistic people is that one is clumsy. Before I self-diagnosed I thought I'm not clumsy. Recently I've become very aware that, actually, I am. Not in relation to big things but dropping small things, knocking them over etc. I've just learned to react quick and often catch them before they hit the surface. If I'm tired, then things start to go wrong.
Wondering whether some older undiagnosed autistics might’ve been mis-diagnosed with dementia due to poorer executive function as they age & cope less well with stress. @actuallyautistic#adhd#actuallyautistic#Dementia
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 229 , Thursday 13/06/2024
A better nights sleep last nigh, although I did wake up early, had a nice chat with CDP 🧚♀️.
Mrs S. was in the office today & I really wasn’t feeling it this morning ,so after breakfast I went back to bed for a couple of hours.
My brain drove me out of bed just after 9am, unless I’m really quite poorly I cannot stay in bed for too long.
So I was reflecting on the meeting with the Social Prescriber yesterday & subsequent conversations with friends on here.
I wonder if I NEED to be more social than I am now. I wonder if the benefits outweigh the stress / anxiety etc. of being in a group of people.
Also the fact that any decent support is a decent distance away. (thanks UK Gov - so much for the promised improvement in MH services NOT !)
I am social to an extent, I regularly chat , laugh ,cry etc with so many lovely folk on here. Yes it is a relationship in a digital environment, but does that make it any less valid an experience?
The Fediverse is unlike any other Social Platform, it is possible to develop real friendships here & the lack of an algorithm makes for a more interactive experience!
Honestly I don’t know, when actually confronted with the help available, if it is worth pursuing.
On a more positive note I had a great banter session with several of the Peeps on here this afternoon / evening , thanks to all who participated, I enjoyed it enormously! 😊
Final Thoughts.
I never expect that I was fighting for so little, it is quite the anti-climax.
I am glad I got my diagnosis, that has helped me understand myself in ways I did not expect, & almost every day I learn something new.
Apart from anything else I found a whole group of Peeps who relate to & share experiences & challenges unique to ND folk!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
Here's something that causes friction between me and my family.
Someone asks me to make a decision about something I don't have a strong preference, but they want me to have a preference.
"do you want x or y? "
Saying "I don't care" comes across as rude, and even softening it as "I don't really have a preference" or turning it back to them by saying "what do you think?" isn't appreciated. They want me to care.
I understand that they want me to choose so they don't have to do that emotional labour. That's fair. But often when I do choose (at random), they try to change my mind, and then I'm back to square one because I don't really care, and I don't want to lie!
A honest answer would be "I'm depressed, I don't want to exist. Putting on a polite face is taking up all my effort, expecting me to actually care is beyond my capacity"
But that's too heavy for most interactions.
I'm not sure what I'm asking for here, just writing it out.
@actuallyautistic
Continuing my question about negotiations with family, since I got such useful answers.
(Ironically given my earlier post about ask vs guess culture, I think this is a guess culture thing)
This is a pattern I see in my family. This is not a Neurotypical vs Neurodivergent thing since everyone is some version of ND.
1 - Everyone avoids saying what they want directly, because they don't want to override what everyone else wants.
2 - Everyone knows everyone else is doing 1. So they don't believe what people are saying, they think there's a hidden level of "what you really think" and that their guess about this is accurate.
3 - People get annoyed with one another for either stating, or appearing to have needs, either real or assumed. They feel they can't say no, and everyone should avoid placing them in a position of being forced into saying no (because saying no is selfish!), or forced into saying yes (because they want to say no!)