I need help in searching any international organizations as a guarantor or something similar, that can help moving out of #russia due to medical and political reasons.
Thing is due to my health condition I have high chances to be left alone here to starve. I wrote around 250 emails to different organizations with little to no result 🥲
Any help or advice will be highly appreciated, ty! 💖
Heya @actuallyautistic folks, do we have a Prime Directive around undiagnosed folks?
Trans folks have the Egg Prime Directive: don't tell someone they might be trans, because it's conter-intuitive in most cases (pushing people deeper into the closet).
As I disclose my diagnosis to people close to me, an unsurprising amount of them resonate with my experience and ask me whether I think they might be. I refuse to answer but share resources and offer to reply to questions about my personal experience.
My autism journey began when my first grandchild was diagnosed,. My daughter asked me to participate in a study of genetic bases for autism. If that hadn't happened, I'm not sure I would know that I was #ActuallyAutistic myself.
I was never really good at masking, and looking back, I can see the damage that did in my life when I didn't know.
I agree about positive representation. I am openly, visibly, #trans for that very reason.
I came to a fast food place I haven't visited in ages. I was delighted that my favorite spot at the far end corner was not taken. Nobody else is in the neighbor tables so I'm alone in this small area. Then it hit me: this is another autism thing. In this spot there's the minimum amount of distractions in this whole place.
I just found out that my therapist's office is closing due to an reorganization of the non-profit it's a part of, so I'll need to find a new therapist to transfer to or decide to discharge.
In true to me fashion, I downplayed the impact that this change is likely going to have on me and more pinned my rage on the systems that be failing and deflected to inquiring about my therapist's plans from here.
I'm of mixed opinion on what I want to do next. The mental health crisis that landed me there was for the most part resolved, and in the past few months I've felt like I might be ready to move on from it. But it's so hard to get in with anybody, I'm not against being transferred... but I also don't wanna start over again with a new person but also I don't feel quite ready to end therapy.
I'd really rather go the route of music or art therapy if I was to continue with therapy, but that would require figuring out how to fund such an endeavor because insurance typically doesn't cover that.
But the for the moment, I'm feeling kinda bummed that my run with my current therapist is wrapping up into it's end and a bit meltdowny about it.
Have any of my #ActuallyAutistic people ever done an EEG? I'm reading about how those can be used for diagnostic purposes and though I'm already diagnosed, I'm intrigued and kind of want to see what it says about my brain.
@dramypsyd @actuallyautistic No, but I have a pinned article about the hemispheric connectivity of autistics being all over the lot –there was no template, no pattern. When you’ve met an autistic...
@actuallyautistic#ActuallyAutistic was in a group meeting with mostly well intentioned neurotypicals who just kept going on and on in the most ableist way about everything
for context, migraine started at the top of the meeting andis going unabated as we speak
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 228 , Wednesday 12/06/2024
Had a somewhat disturbed night, I experimented with having a full glass of water with my bedtime tablets to help hydrate me , what actually happened was rather than sleeping thru I was woken by the old call of nature around 3am & utterly failed to fall back into a deep sleep, tossing & turning for the rest of the night.
We won’t be making that mistake again unless there is conclusive proof it’s required (i.e. another gout flare up that can’t be traced to anything else!)
Finally got up around 6am , breakfast t etc ensued.
My feet are both sore , not cripplingly so, just enough to make walking unpleasant.
Spent a chunk of time on here today, honest I’m not addicted to Social Media 😆
Went to see a Social Prescriber this afternoon.
There are no services in local area that will be able to help me 🙄🤦♂️
The best she could off was a social cafe , with crafts & board games & coffee !
Is it me or does this smack of old peoples home ?
I have not said no , but we are going to review the situation in a month.
By chance Mrs S. in her official role received news of an Autism Hub that has opened this year about a hours drive away. So this maybe an avenue of opportunity.
Back on here again this afternoon / evening , currently expecting a spirited discussion on the state of UK politics on my other a/c.
Has anybody seen any good videos talking about what autistic burnout is that would be appropriate to send to loved ones to explain what it is and how it affects an autistic person?
I'm too burned out to sift through search results to find a good one. Looking for a video because the friend I want to send it to does better processing audio than reading.
@actuallyautistic#actuallyautistic
A few months back I picked up Temple Grandin's book "The Autistic Brain: Helping Different Kinds of Minds Succeed" and would definitely recommend it. Grandin's writing style is very easy to understand and she approaches the topic from a logical yet empathetic point of view. There is no beating around the bush when it comes to more complex or taboo issues surrounding autism in the book and I appreciate that. It also helped me discover more things about myself.
Been thinking about smiling/not smiling as masking. Yesterday I had a meeting with a colleague, me being tired. Suddenly I realized I'm not smiling and wondered whether I would've smiled in this situation when I didn't understand I'm autistic. I might've forced a smile before but now I didn't feel like smiling so I didn't. This wasn't the first time I realized I'm not smiling while the situation is such that it'd be "desirable" that I do smile.
On the other hand, I've understood that I started unmasking even before I knew I was masking by smiling when I feel like it walking down the street. I might be just happy, see something nice, or maybe think about something amusing. People don't usually smile on their own and I've recognized this impulse to hide one's smile.
I often describe myself as a minimal speaker. It's because whilst I can speak, unless seriously overwhelmed, I vastly prefer not to. In large part, this is because the effort of speaking, and it is, more often than not, a real effort for me, rarely seems worth it. Since realising I am autistic, I have come to realise why this could be and also why communicating on here is so much easier and not just because it's text, because I struggle with that elsewhere too.
Language, whether text or verbal, is communication. Whether that be communicating thoughts, or feelings. Expressing emotions, or ideas. It is the medium and not the source. The source is where these things are coming from and it is what shapes our use of the medium and therefore in large part the assumptions we make about how others are using it and therefore the likely success of any communication.
Enter the double-empathy theory and the general acknowledgement that autism is a fundamental difference in the ways in which our brains work, often exampled by describing it as a different operating system. It means that whilst I am using the same language to talk with allistics, how we're both using it, the ends and purpose, even the nature of the information being transmitted, can often be fundamentally different.
An example I have used, is to compare it to a foreign language speaker with a reasonable understanding of the local language, but having to work incredibly hard to keep up with a conversation and having to constantly check their translations and whether or not they were making the right replies and not offending anyone. But to be truly accurate, you would also have to add in a cultural divide, a root level difference in the expectation and assumptions they are making about life and how this was also shaping their communication.
This, I think, is why speaking has always been so hard for me. Why it's always been so much of an effort and often without point. It's not that I am speaking a foreign language, or that my words themselves can't be understood. But that the information I am attempting to convey and the intended purpose of that information, is so far out of phase with the expectations of those around me, that miscommunication, confusion and the all too familiar fallout becomes almost inevitable. It's also why speaking here is so much easier.
Effective communication is more than just using the right words, it's about realising the intent and purpose behind those words. About understanding where someone is coming from as much as what they are trying to say. And that, as the saying goes, takes two to tango.
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 227 , Tuesday 11/06/2024
Up around 5:30, breakfast & chores ensued.
Had to play taxi for Mrs S. so that I could have the car to go to the GPs appointment, I would normally walk, but given the gout flare up last week I chickened out!
This morning I went to see the Doctor who sorted my ASD assessment out for me, that man is a Saint!
So different to his colleague who was - ‘Nope cannot do anything for anyone at any time , certainly not if it costs money! ‘
Today was the first time in a very long time that I have come out of Drs appointment smiling!
We are on with sorting out the ADHD assessment, there are a couple of forms I have to fill out & a couple of forms he has to fill out then it’s a case of sending them off & waiting.
I am seeing a Social Prescriber tomorrow afternoon (I’m telling you Dr S (I know !! But hey that’s his initial 😆 ) is a freakin magician when he puts his mind to it! ) to set up a care plan .. dunno owt about that but I’m sure that I will know a lot more tomorrow !
Dr S. is also referring me to the Primary MH Practitioner - Beth - who I saw before the whole ASD journey started & indeed was the one that set my feet upon this path. I misjudged her last time when I thought she had just bundled me off to 3rd parties. I will approach our next appointment with more knowledge & I hope that she doesn’t hold a grudge.
Dr S. has also forwarded my diagnosis letter to the Community MH team , he’s not sure if this will help but at this point he is reaching out for me to all those who might be able to help!
And out of the blue my journey moves into top gear again!
14:00 - forms for ADHD referral are done, just need to drop them off.
Played NMS this afternoon, ticked off a few achievements then had to go & pick up Mrs S.
I dropped off the forms for the ADHD referral en-route - I’d like to say I jogged from the car to the receptionists desk & back, but the truth was much, much more ungainly!
Made a ham salad for tea with some new potatoes , it was a bit of a challenge because herself does not believe in buying anything more than she absolutely has to to feed herself. Hey ho, for all that it wasn’t too bad.
Finished the evening off with a bit of TV & catching up on here.
Final Thoughts.
A dear friend lost a close family member today, I won’t tag them , but they & those that share TLs with us both know who I mean. Lots of love my friend , know you are in my thoughts. 🫂 🫶
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
Partner is fixated on a life choice regret this morning and has been teetering on the edge of meltdown. It's a line of thinking that most often gets triggered if I make even the slightest reference to where I was living in my late 20s and early 30s.
It's a painful thing to witness because of the level of anger and resentment he has around his choices, and often leaves me feeling like I have to walk on eggshells and supress my thoughts around my own memories of that time period of my own life which makes me feel inspired unsupported because it wasn't exactly the "time of my life" like my partner seems to assume.
If you're on Android and want an app full of stuff about autism and neurodiversity, I just release a free app called "Neurodiversity 101". It will also be coming to iOS in the future.
I like to keep my long hair open. For the most part it's behind my ears but I'd love to keep it flying free. But then, with even a little bit of wind all of those single hairs are everywhere on my face, tickling and demanding attention. No wonder I have a reflex putting then behind my ears.
@actuallyautistic#actuallyautistic Somehow got into an argument earlier about fractions with my parents, especially the fraction 15/16. I said that 7.5/8 is the same thing as 15/16, because they can be converted to each other by multiplying or dividing the numerator and denominator by 2.
My mom basically said, no, that's not right because it's not a "proper fraction" which doesn't make sense to me. The math checks out, and numerators can have decimal integers. Is there something I'm missing?
@actuallyautistic#actuallyautistic Just called my eye doctor to reschedule an appointment, probably my first time ever doing that alone 😭 such a weight off my shoulders.
Not only that, but the appointment was moved to this Wednesday so less time to stress over it!
Newest episode (#8) of #InTheKaleidoscope just dropped. In this one, we jump off of a terrific video I saw on TikTok that talks about how us NDs answer to our values while often NTs answer to their group. Which explained a lot of our often cross-purposes to me. Interesting to get my daughter's NT perspective as well. Give it a listen if you want.
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 226 , Monday 10/06/2024
Up at 5:30 because my brain hates me !
Read for a while then did the whole breakfast / chores thing with a bit of SM thrown in for good measure.
I need to get focused on building motivation again, I’m slowly stagnating here & I’m not happy with myself for being this way.
A little help from certain other quarters woudn’t go amiss but that is unlikely !
Hey ho , started th energy ‘Adrift’ NMS expedition this afternoon, it was nice to have a change of pace & scenery - post apocalypse Boston is all very well but it lacks things like greenery (unless you count the Super Mutants & the glowing wildlife ! )
I’m still in the Euclid Galaxy so I have a funny feel that my first hyperspace jump may not go smoothly …
Final Thoughts.
Not a bad day, just want to build some motivation & get doing stuff.
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
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