JoBlakely

quinze , 15 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Heya @actuallyautistic folks, do we have a Prime Directive around undiagnosed folks?

Trans folks have the Egg Prime Directive: don't tell someone they might be trans, because it's conter-intuitive in most cases (pushing people deeper into the closet).

As I disclose my diagnosis to people close to me, an unsurprising amount of them resonate with my experience and ask me whether I think they might be. I refuse to answer but share resources and offer to reply to questions about my personal experience.

JoBlakely , 15 days ago

@melindrea @quinze @actuallyautistic I am also openly autistic and it usually is me either saying so, and them relating to me enough to wonder if they are as well, or me telling people that “a lot of autistic people feel and say the same as you do” if they do an autism.

Ilovechai , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

I don't have the spoons to explain why I feel my neurodivergence is making this worse, but I need feedback or insight from other ND people on a unique experience. This will be a long thread (added in replies) but I'm hopeful there will be a few kind readers who either relate or have something supportive to share.
Here goes:
1/
@actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd
#recoveringfromreligion
#LateDiagnosedAutism
#actuallyautistic #neurodivergent

JoBlakely , 17 days ago

@Ilovechai @actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd
So for me it’s been very similar and I am trying to get out there and socialize more. I am trying to still treat each as individuals and not as a group and get to know people slowly. Most of them will unlikely be deep friends, but most are nice to hang with, chat with, do art with. I am not looking for friends, but I am looking to be fully myself, no dimming, in community and see what happens.
My own social experiment. It’s been interesting.

JoBlakely , 16 days ago

@Ilovechai @actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd maybe I should journal it. I go to the dog park. Mainly for a walk, fresh air, & dogs. It’s good for my mental health. Keeps me joyous. Some people are plain awful, & others just really lovely. It’s my schedule when I want to go. I go to an art club too. We have art in common, but that’s it. I’m taking it slow. I’m good on my own, pleasant convos nice, friends & real connections developing would be bonus. But I’m very picky who I get close to.

JoBlakely , 16 days ago

@Ilovechai @actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd

This thread today sums it up best.
https://spore.social/@bethsawin/112603675081502291

Zumbador , 19 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic
I'm visiting family, and wow am I deep in autistic denial territory.

Some of my younger relatives have approached me, asking about neurodivergence because I've been so open about my experience as a late realised autistic person. They're wondering about themselves and their parents.

The older people though, are unable to have that conversation. There are jokey, sidelong half acknowledgements that "there might be something going on" with them, but otherwise it's High Masking At All Times.

What I find difficult to deal with is the rather toxic judgemental attitudes.

So-and-so relative is "so picky about his food, he thinks it makes him important" or "how ridiculous, he doesn't like the too bright light in the bathroom" and all the while I can see them struggling to deal with the exact same difficulties they're judging in others.

It's so ingrained, I don't know if there's a way for them to find self acceptance.

#ActuallyAutistic

JoBlakely , 19 days ago

@axnxcamr @punishmenthurts @Zumbador @actuallyautistic they still appear to be ‘treatment focused’ questions more than ‘seeking understanding or diagnostic’ questions.

The tests seem really off to me. I did not find many of the questions profound, showing any deep understanding of what makes us us…or even a curiosity.

JoBlakely , 19 days ago

@punishmenthurts @axnxcamr @Zumbador @actuallyautistic I went without friends and family rather than pretend to be something I’m not.
I am not surprised by my low score on the test BUT I think there are ways I dimmed myself, stopped talking, felt less confident, hopeful, supported bc people got jealous even scary.
I had to fight the whole way trying to just be me, who I always respected…but hadn’t learned to walk away, confront, or create boundaries for myself…

JoBlakely , 19 days ago

@punishmenthurts @axnxcamr @Zumbador @actuallyautistic

Things that make some ‘mask’, made me walk away & not care or respect their opinions of me.
I always liked & respected myself, even if no one else did. I am self aware, & know who I am.

tbh I find allistics often fronting & that’s masking to me. I find a lot of people struggle to be themselves.

I think the tests don’t capture how I dealt with these same causal issues. It explores a specific set of behaviours, not causes or whys.

JoBlakely , 19 days ago

@punishmenthurts @axnxcamr @Zumbador @actuallyautistic SAME.

JoBlakely , 19 days ago

@punishmenthurts @Uair @nellie_m @axnxcamr @Zumbador @actuallyautistic

I think evolution is based on perception & response to our ‘feelers’. Things that feel good you seek out. Things that don’t you will avoid, learn to tolerate, or learn to hate.
We have at least two feedback loop perceivers/processors connected to those feelers which are a much more recent addition to our evolution. That is self-awareness/self-reflection feedback loop, & other POVs context loop which provides relativity.

JoBlakely , 19 days ago

@punishmenthurts @Uair @nellie_m @axnxcamr @Zumbador @actuallyautistic
It is with these things that we grow and evolve as individuals and in group context. Listening and respecting others allows for right context and humility, listening to oneself allows for integrity and right action. Both are new and critical developments.

JoBlakely , 19 days ago

@punishmenthurts @Uair @nellie_m @axnxcamr @Zumbador @actuallyautistic

I agree. 100%. I thought I was expressing that. Perhaps not well or too obliquely.

JoBlakely , 19 days ago

@punishmenthurts @woozle @Uair @nellie_m @axnxcamr @Zumbador @actuallyautistic

“Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.”
Matt. 10:16

JoBlakely , 19 days ago

@woozle @punishmenthurts @Uair @nellie_m @axnxcamr @Zumbador @actuallyautistic
It’s hard for me to answer this, but having followed this way, I was given those things.
I was given joy & laughter & healing & true miracles in the midst of sorrow & pain. I was given the support, respect & love of God, & learned to respect myself. I was given knowledge & chose wisdom that helped me navigate safely numerous times. If I evolved, I don’t take it for granted. It feels like salvation.

JoBlakely , 19 days ago

@woozle @punishmenthurts @Uair @nellie_m @axnxcamr @Zumbador @actuallyautistic
Turning the other cheek does not mean not calling the other person out for their errors, though.
We are supposed to do that as he did. If more ppl called out errors, bigotry, lies, hypocrisy, injustice, cruelty, etc. IRL among friends, family, workplaces, community, the rest wouldn’t even be necessary. Instead it becomes used, politicized, & we stop getting governance. We get control.

JoBlakely , 19 days ago

@woozle @dweebish @punishmenthurts @Uair @nellie_m @axnxcamr @Zumbador @actuallyautistic THIS.