@JoBlakely@mastodon.social cover
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JoBlakely

@[email protected]

🇨🇦Artist, Intersectional Feminist, Spiritual, Nerdy. #art #portraits
Masks are visible expressions of solidarity, truth, & love.
Mottos: Love all, take shit from none.
Don't become what you hate.

She/Her #Neuroqueer #ActuallyAutistic #cPTSD #MeToo #Whistleblower

No racists, misogynists, TERFS, AI, Blockchain #nobot

Header: #Painting of books, hourglass, gold mannequin hand 🤜 & more.
Profile painting: white woman with red hair, wearing emergency blanket, Kilim behind. (Not me).

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quinze , to ActuallyAutistic group
@quinze@tech.lgbt avatar

Heya @actuallyautistic folks, do we have a Prime Directive around undiagnosed folks?

Trans folks have the Egg Prime Directive: don't tell someone they might be trans, because it's conter-intuitive in most cases (pushing people deeper into the closet).

As I disclose my diagnosis to people close to me, an unsurprising amount of them resonate with my experience and ask me whether I think they might be. I refuse to answer but share resources and offer to reply to questions about my personal experience.

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@melindrea @quinze @actuallyautistic I am also openly autistic and it usually is me either saying so, and them relating to me enough to wonder if they are as well, or me telling people that “a lot of autistic people feel and say the same as you do” if they do an autism.

Zumbador , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@actuallyautistic
I'm visiting family, and wow am I deep in autistic denial territory.

Some of my younger relatives have approached me, asking about neurodivergence because I've been so open about my experience as a late realised autistic person. They're wondering about themselves and their parents.

The older people though, are unable to have that conversation. There are jokey, sidelong half acknowledgements that "there might be something going on" with them, but otherwise it's High Masking At All Times.

What I find difficult to deal with is the rather toxic judgemental attitudes.

So-and-so relative is "so picky about his food, he thinks it makes him important" or "how ridiculous, he doesn't like the too bright light in the bathroom" and all the while I can see them struggling to deal with the exact same difficulties they're judging in others.

It's so ingrained, I don't know if there's a way for them to find self acceptance.

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@punishmenthurts @axnxcamr @Zumbador @actuallyautistic
This has been my main issue with all the autistic diagnostic tests online.
It really doesn’t explore our whys. And our whys, our philosophy, our integrity, our defiance, our sensitivity, all relates to our whys.
There should be more philosophical questions because I think that is what sets us apart. We think differently because we value different things. We prioritize different things. We have courage for different things.

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@punishmenthurts @axnxcamr @Zumbador @actuallyautistic

I just did a bunch of tests. On some metrics I am above even autistic average. On some below. On some I am really on border of autistic scores & allistic. With masking test, I am waaaaay below both autistic and allistic low scores. I scored 37 on the CAT-Q…
But did a lot of dimming my light, I hid my pain.
I score about 56% Autistic, but I am pretty confident I am autistic bc I see & relate to autistics more & mostly philosophically.

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@punishmenthurts @axnxcamr @Zumbador @actuallyautistic I also think the tests really don’t cover older undiagnosed adults, who really learned to figure things out and manage what was unmanageable, who became wiser, better at self care, self respect.
Things changed significantly for me with age & experience, and I started including myself in the whole of things I cared about.

The metrics didn’t apply as much if at all as an older adult. But I’m still autistic. So something is off.

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@axnxcamr @punishmenthurts @Zumbador @actuallyautistic they still appear to be ‘treatment focused’ questions more than ‘seeking understanding or diagnostic’ questions.

The tests seem really off to me. I did not find many of the questions profound, showing any deep understanding of what makes us us…or even a curiosity.

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@punishmenthurts @axnxcamr @Zumbador @actuallyautistic I went without friends and family rather than pretend to be something I’m not.
I am not surprised by my low score on the test BUT I think there are ways I dimmed myself, stopped talking, felt less confident, hopeful, supported bc people got jealous even scary.
I had to fight the whole way trying to just be me, who I always respected…but hadn’t learned to walk away, confront, or create boundaries for myself…

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@punishmenthurts @axnxcamr @Zumbador @actuallyautistic

Things that make some ‘mask’, made me walk away & not care or respect their opinions of me.
I always liked & respected myself, even if no one else did. I am self aware, & know who I am.

tbh I find allistics often fronting & that’s masking to me. I find a lot of people struggle to be themselves.

I think the tests don’t capture how I dealt with these same causal issues. It explores a specific set of behaviours, not causes or whys.

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@punishmenthurts @axnxcamr @Zumbador @actuallyautistic SAME.

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@punishmenthurts @Uair @nellie_m @axnxcamr @Zumbador @actuallyautistic

I think evolution is based on perception & response to our ‘feelers’. Things that feel good you seek out. Things that don’t you will avoid, learn to tolerate, or learn to hate.
We have at least two feedback loop perceivers/processors connected to those feelers which are a much more recent addition to our evolution. That is self-awareness/self-reflection feedback loop, & other POVs context loop which provides relativity.

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@punishmenthurts @Uair @nellie_m @axnxcamr @Zumbador @actuallyautistic
It is with these things that we grow and evolve as individuals and in group context. Listening and respecting others allows for right context and humility, listening to oneself allows for integrity and right action. Both are new and critical developments.

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@punishmenthurts @Uair @nellie_m @axnxcamr @Zumbador @actuallyautistic

I agree. 100%. I thought I was expressing that. Perhaps not well or too obliquely.

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@punishmenthurts @woozle @Uair @nellie_m @axnxcamr @Zumbador @actuallyautistic

“Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.”
Matt. 10:16

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@woozle @punishmenthurts @Uair @nellie_m @axnxcamr @Zumbador @actuallyautistic
It’s hard for me to answer this, but having followed this way, I was given those things.
I was given joy & laughter & healing & true miracles in the midst of sorrow & pain. I was given the support, respect & love of God, & learned to respect myself. I was given knowledge & chose wisdom that helped me navigate safely numerous times. If I evolved, I don’t take it for granted. It feels like salvation.

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@woozle @punishmenthurts @Uair @nellie_m @axnxcamr @Zumbador @actuallyautistic
Turning the other cheek does not mean not calling the other person out for their errors, though.
We are supposed to do that as he did. If more ppl called out errors, bigotry, lies, hypocrisy, injustice, cruelty, etc. IRL among friends, family, workplaces, community, the rest wouldn’t even be necessary. Instead it becomes used, politicized, & we stop getting governance. We get control.

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@woozle @dweebish @punishmenthurts @Uair @nellie_m @axnxcamr @Zumbador @actuallyautistic THIS.

haui , to ActuallyAutistic group
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com avatar

@actuallyautistic controversial thought:

calling an autistic person naive is an ableist slur as it is negatively connotated and targets a persons unchangeable traits.

Feel free to disagree and explain if you think another definition would make mote sense.

As always please refrain from ad hominem attacks.

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@haui @actuallyautistic naïveté is changeable and effects every single person alive until they learn more and grow up.
Presuming autistics cannot learn or outgrow this ignorance of understanding reality or the circumstances we are in is ableist and presumes we cannot grow or become not naive. While we may have many false assumptions based on our own innocence & lack of experience, we are fully capable of learning from experience and being less naive, even preternaturally intuitively aware.

Dr_Obvious , to ActuallyAutistic group German

@actuallyautistic
I don't know if it's related to the hypo-/hypersensitivity topic, stimulation or whatsoever. But I really like strong tasting stuff. Spicy, salty, hot, sour, complex, whatsoever.

After just now taking a sip from a pickle glass it came to my mind that I even took shots of vinegar in the past, because I liked the taste. I considder it so odd that I wondered if anybody out there did it too.

Did you ever fancied a shot of vinegar?

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@Dr_Obvious @actuallyautistic my fave vinegar is Chinkiang Vinegar.
It is a must with steamed dumplings, noodles, or with other things. I want to try doing quick pickling tomatoes with it. It’s been taken as shots for health benefits traditionally as well. It is so insanely delicious. I just love the taste.
https://thewoksoflife.com/chinese-black-vinegar/

TheVulgarTongue Bot , to histodons group
@TheVulgarTongue@zirk.us avatar

CAT CALL. A kind of whistle, chiefly used at theatres, to interrupt the actors, and damn a new piece. It derives its name from one of its sounds, which greatly resembles the modulation of an intriguing boar cat.

A selection from Francis Grose’s “Dictionary Of The Vulgar Tongue” (1785)

--
@histodons

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@TheVulgarTongue @histodons okay, I’m intrigued. What is a boar cat?

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@AdrianRiskin @TheVulgarTongue @histodons thanks!

Ilovechai , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Ilovechai@sciences.social avatar

I don't have the spoons to explain why I feel my neurodivergence is making this worse, but I need feedback or insight from other ND people on a unique experience. This will be a long thread (added in replies) but I'm hopeful there will be a few kind readers who either relate or have something supportive to share.
Here goes:
1/
@actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd


JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@Ilovechai @actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd I started going to the dog park, tho I have no dog, for my mental health. Dog owners get it & are supportive. I went for the dogs, but met some people who I am slowly getting to know. I am finding as I chat, share my pov, laugh, & talk about some of these things they have also shared with me some of their stories. It made me realize so many are just broken & shattered & feeling the same struggle. It’s free. And if nothing else…dogs & fresh air.

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@Ilovechai @actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd it has been interesting to see some of these women who feel they relate to me, when I say I self dx’d autistic, and how my autism affects how I think about whatever social construct we happen to be talking about, wonder aloud if they might be too.

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@Ilovechai @actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd
So for me it’s been very similar and I am trying to get out there and socialize more. I am trying to still treat each as individuals and not as a group and get to know people slowly. Most of them will unlikely be deep friends, but most are nice to hang with, chat with, do art with. I am not looking for friends, but I am looking to be fully myself, no dimming, in community and see what happens.
My own social experiment. It’s been interesting.

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@Ilovechai @actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd maybe I should journal it. I go to the dog park. Mainly for a walk, fresh air, & dogs. It’s good for my mental health. Keeps me joyous. Some people are plain awful, & others just really lovely. It’s my schedule when I want to go. I go to an art club too. We have art in common, but that’s it. I’m taking it slow. I’m good on my own, pleasant convos nice, friends & real connections developing would be bonus. But I’m very picky who I get close to.

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@Ilovechai @actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd

This thread today sums it up best.
https://spore.social/@bethsawin/112603675081502291

CynAq , to ActuallyAutistic group
@CynAq@neurodifferent.me avatar

@actuallyautistic

Melt down or freeze up, that is the question.

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@pathfinder @mephistofelix @CynAq @actuallyautistic as a kid for me it was faint. I’d be torn between standing my ground refusing to run away, but refusing to fight, and I ended up hyperventilating and passing out.
Poor young sweet but feisty me.

Uair , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@actuallyautistic

How are you with animals?

I tend to throw off the wrong vibe for people, but get along with even the iffy animals. Dogs that don't like most people warm to me.

Just wondering how much of that is autism and how much me. My dad hates animals.

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@Uair @actuallyautistic I’m like the animal whisperer. It’s definitely more than other people. People comment.

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@pathfinder I think this is why too.

@Uair @actuallyautistic

niamhgarvey , to ActuallyAutistic group
@niamhgarvey@mastodon.ie avatar

You know when you start a big tidying project, with great intentions, and then get overwhelmed by the mess you create?

Yeah.

That.

@actuallyautistic

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@onecreativecat waves at my living room and hallway. @niamhgarvey @actuallyautistic

pathfinder , to ActuallyAutistic group
@pathfinder@beige.party avatar

@actuallyautistic

Autistic brains be stupid. Well, obviously not stupid, they just seem to work, or not work, in mysterious ways.

The main one that has always got me, about mine, is that I have no memory for sound, absolutely none. I can't remember a song, or a sound. I can't remember what my parents sounded like and none of my memories carry, for want of a better word, a soundtrack. I can remember what I was thinking and what others were saying, but not hearing them say it, nor any other sound. I also don't dream in sound, at least as far as I know. All my dreams are silent.

And yet, and it's a big yet. I have an excellent memory for voices and sounds. Like many autistics I have near perfect pitch, at least when I'm hearing others sing, or music playing. Just don't ask me to reproduce it, because I can't. If I meet someone I haven't met for a while, then I will almost certainly not recognise their face, or remember their name, but there is a very good chance that I will recognise them from their voice. I am also very good at detecting accents. Even the slightest hint of one in, say, an actor pretending to be an american, will get me searching Wikipedian to see if I am right about their actual nationality.

So, if I can tell the sound of a Honda CBR engine two blocks away, or a voice, or an accent buried deep, I must have the memories to compare against. And yet... nope.

So, as I said, autistic brains be stupid.


JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@pathfinder I can’t imitate any other accent if it is English if my life depended on it, but I can generally speak with a really good accent words in a completely different language. I think it’s because I can hear the nuance easier in a completely different word or language. Also I enunciate in my speech patterns regardless of language. French & English I speak fluently with a particularly autistic accent on top of the local (Toronto or Paris). I@[email protected] @actuallyautistic

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@pathfinder @actuallyautistic my family is from Yorkshire and there alone a new one every block.

catswhocode , to ActuallyAutistic group
@catswhocode@mastodon.art avatar

@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd I know this isn't specifically an autistic/ADHD trait, but I have a lot of trouble remembering people's names. Usually I have to write down the name, take a picture of it, or make an association that sticks. Does this happen to any of you too?

JoBlakely ,
@JoBlakely@mastodon.social avatar

@catswhocode @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd I generally have to ask people’s names a few times, before I either just remember or come up with a mnemonic. I tell people when I meet them that if I ask their name repeatedly to not take offence. And they can ask me mine too if they forget without any guilt. I find most people are relieved and agree remembering names is hard.

DropBear , to israel group
@DropBear@theblower.au avatar

Had Israelis not revealed their true selves, then your hasbara might stand a better chance of deceiving me @fuller
From their actions it's quite clear that, for Israeli Zionists, "chosen people" is an expression of racial superiority. Zionist Israel has far less in common with Judaism than it does with Nazism.

Israeli Zionism is perversion. It twists aspects of Judaism. Yarden Katz puts it better than I can:
https://mondoweiss.net/2023/11/are-israelis-jews-returning-to-jewish-minority-life/

@ThinkIsrael @Mary625 @gee8sh @palestine @israel






"... the zionist project, culminating in Israel, is profoundly contrary to Jewish traditions ... Israel has suppressed these Jewish traditions and ways of living while hijacking parts of them when convenient." "... the dismantling of Israel and the liberation of Palestine must also be a Jewish struggle — a struggle that should go far beyond Jews showing solidarity for Palestinians or simply not wanting to be oppressors. “Israeli” is a colonial identity that should be renounced, not just because it harms Palestinians but also because it is deeply anti-Jewish."
ALT
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    • JoBlakely ,
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    @GhostOnTheHalfShell @ThinkIsrael @DropBear @fuller @Mary625 @gee8sh @palestine @israel
    And murdered Yitzak Rabin to prevent that peace Zionists say they want.

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