I love how at the time if me answering there are exactly two replies one telling OP that their statement about ADHD is inaccurate and one telling OP that their statement about autism is inaccurate.
"Out of sight, out of mind" is often said as a good thing, but for people like me, it's chaos. I love it when desk, desktop and inbox are tidy because that means that I have nothing to do or worry about.
Resources are always put away. When I'm working on a project my mind can easily recall where a resource is. I can then track it down. Things like specific bolts, old Ethernet plugs etc all get packed up out of the way.
Reminders can never be hidden. Things like my keys and wallet are easy examples, but reminders also include that book I want to read next or that coding project I wanted to work on. Reminders are always front and center on my desktop, they're right by the door (sometimes on hangers attached to the door in the case of wedding rings) and I don't forget them because they're obvious.
So things you need to do? Reminder category. Set calendar events for the things that need temporal reminders, or have to be put away.
my room is "clean" but my personal adhd clean where i put something somewhere because im a genius thatll remember it and then i look where it should be and its not there and im like well shit i guess its gone until i stumble upon it right where i needed it.
not until after i spend 30 minutes looking not where i needed it.
sometimes i completely clean my space and then ill stop thinking about it and kinda go about my day and suddenly 4 different unrelated activities are on my desk.
i just watched memento for a class and i kinda feel like the guy in memento except to a much much lesser degree
I can actually use some perspective on this. I am autistic, my partners autistic.. our 3yo has all the signs of being the same. But there aren’t any problems so far and we wouldn’t hide the fact. But i believe people should be themselves and children still have a pure chance on discovering themselves, i dont want to confuse that with a label.
I grew up having no idea I had ADHD (probably on the spectrum too, given that my kids both have it and ADHD and autism are almost like smoke and fire), and instead just had no idea what was wrong with me. Because that's the support I got, being repeatedly asked "what's wrong with you?" for thirty years.
This is weirdly common, from what I've heard. You'd think it would be obvious that a disorder (or neurotype, or whatever you call autism) requires accommodation, which requires self-advocacy, which requires being allowed to know what's going on with you.
I just had a realization. In early childhood children with autism are usually more expressive, but frequently get told behavior, conversation topics and mannerisms are bad, weird or wrong.
In adulthood the stereotype for autism is being uptight, anxious and reserved people who only open up when it is about a major interest.
Well is this even an autism problem or the result of years of being told everything we say and do is wrong? Of course people would be introverted and anxious.
I've thought about this too! How much of our traits are the actual autism, and how much of our traits are a result of abuse and marginalization?
I wasn't always afraid of meeting new people, but after enough bullying and being taken advantage of, I learned to not trust my ability to judge others unless I've known them for a longgg time. So, please excuse me if I'm not excited to meet you, but I don't know if you're going to be an asshole or not yet, and I'm not going to be insincere about it.
My therapist pointed out that a lot of autistic traits are extremely similar to trauma expression, and that it's often hard to judge which is which.
I feel like I'm an oddball because I tend to trust people until they give me a reason but to. That's led to some bad experiences, but it also gives my "this person is doing shady stuff" sense a boost. It's not insincere, but neither is waiting to judge :)
There's no requirement, and there's no reason a white person can't go to a black barbershop, but black people's hair is often much different to cut than most white people's hair, and preferred styles quite different.
It's not so much "this barber is for black people" and more so "this barber is owned by black people, so black people can assume they'll be given the experience they're looking for"
Black people have different hair from other races, many times non-black folks don't know how to accommodate these textures. Beyond that, historically, the barbershop in Black communities is a meeting place. People gather to discuss current events, politics, pop culture, and life in general. In this space, everyone is on the same footing. It's a cultural thing, so there is a distinction.
Many black and other minority communities had to establish their own businesses because of being excluded from and/or violence against them at white run businesses.
I mean, they're right as well. Especially here in the South. Until recently where small, local barbershops have become almost a thing of the past. The guy I used to see as a kid (when I had no choice) would chase black people out of his shop with a shotgun while shouting slurs.
His shop only closed when he died in 2010. Racist fucker was almost 100.
Because the hair is different. It's not necessary, but it's a common thing that barbers know how to cut hair similar to their own the best. I know first hand what happens if the barber isn't used to hair that is unusual.
I'll just say, apparently a military cut is hard to do for some people when the hair this thick
This is often why autistic people don't climb the ranks in technical organisations, even if we are much better at our jobs. Some places create technical specialist roles that are equivalent status but there is a premium on leadership qualities rather than technical excellence.
The Egyptians built the pyramids by moving huge blocks of stone on skids. This was achieved by organising vast amounts of manpower. What they needed was some autistic people to point out that only a handful of people are required if you use some wheels.
Pose a question, expect a no-nonsense, factual answer. Don't be offended but appreciate the candor and brevity. Get back to being productive so you can leave for a timely Feierabend like everyone else.
I was watching a YouTube video for Americans on what not to do when visiting Germany. I was thinking that I would love to live in Germany throughout the video for the reasons you stated.
That reminded me a bit of that time I was spending the summer at grandparent's and went to the gas station to buy a few things I needed, and saw a magazine special dedicated to a tv show that was really popular with girls at that time, including a dvd and 3d anaglyph glasses. Picked it too.
Cute early 20s girl in the counter: "ohhh, do you like this show?? :D"
Me: "no, I'm just buying it for the 3D glasses for using them with Minecraft"
girl: "oh okay :/"
me, almost a week later, playing Minecraft at 3 or 4 AM: "wait, was that flirty?"
Honestly wish I could do that. I've gotten so used to masking my inability to do small talk that I basically just say yes to everything. It's super annoying and something I want to work on, but I dont really know how.
Its incorrect wording but i shorthanded it to 'embrace the sociopathy'. Very nice little koan to drop on the programmed reaction i've had to natural ASD reactions
'You can't do that it's sociopathic!' No ma it's ASD and i'm tired of pretending i'm not to save your face.
Since the acronym for sociopath is ASPD, I will often respond with something like "nuh uh, mine has one less letter". Pretty niche, but when someone gets it, so good.
I'm the opposite i can do small talk ( and even be charming while doing it) but, i just can't STAND it and don't know how to get out of it either so i've just taken to greyrocking whenever it comes up. For the record i don't have asd ( some people said they had it in this section) just static encephalopathy ( brain damage) and am actually quite smart just I've got a lot special niche interests ( sci fi, fantasy and Gorillaz to name a few) and if i don't know you ( aka you aren't interested in these things and / or like small talk) then I don't want to talk to you but, if you don't do small talk and/ or are interested in something I'm interested in GREAT! IF YOU WANT TO TALK I'M DOWN FOR IT!
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