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insomniac_lemon

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Does anyone else ever just realize that you're not even sure why you want a relationship at all?

As I've gained more and more close friends, more than I've ever had in my life, and some closer than I've ever had in my life, I've come to realize something recently. Despite the prevailing feeling like I want a relationship, I don't actually know why it is I want one, nor what I have to gain from one....

insomniac_lemon ,
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Well yeah, but mostly due to lacking any chance and I'm a shut-in (who probably has SzPD). Also time has already made a fool of me.

insomniac_lemon , (edited )
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Reminder on Stockholm syndrome:

According to accounts by Kristin Enmark (one of the hostages): the police were acting incompetently, with little care for the hostages' safety.

She had criticized the police for pointing guns at the convicts while the hostages were in the line of fire, and she had told news outlets that one of the captors tried to protect the hostages from being caught in the crossfire

but the prime minister [Palme] told her that she would have to content herself with dying at her post rather than Palme giving in to the captors' demands.

Ultimately, Enmark explained she was more afraid of the police, whose attitude seemed to be a much larger, direct threat to her life than the robbers.

Which could possibly be relevant here, particularly the civil war part.

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  • insomniac_lemon , (edited )
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    You could also call it a shopping plaza, either in a line or 2 (or possibly 3) sides along its parking lot.

    Also bundled with those giant signs that list every store in the plaza.

    insomniac_lemon ,
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    "completely turned around" could be charitably interpreted as "swiftly and accurately corrected course". 360, not so much.

    insomniac_lemon , (edited )
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    Yeah, my ebike (45lbs) isn't that hard to ride when powered off (and I am not the most in-shape). Reading the article, I also wonder if a bike could just be... turned back on (it's a thumb-accessible button, not a pull-start) if they are aware of this tech. It also seems likely there could be other ways to defeat this (like the bit about being line-of-sight).

    Also it would almost be funny if criminals just rode an aerobike or something instead or perhaps even an ebike with all of the electronic bits stripped out (which would also lower the weight), I say almost because it would make this dumb backpack toy fully useless but then I imagine it causing other issues (like pacemakers) if they just keep blasting it out trying to get it to work.

    insomniac_lemon ,
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    I'm pretty sure that's just about using the pedals, as in having an ebike with a throttle won't be an issue (even though throttles are extremely common, mine is 250w + EU speed limit and has a half-twist throttle).

    Not that the legislation is 100% unrelated, but I see it likely more of just accepting that people have been going faster for a while.

    insomniac_lemon ,
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    The bigger issue IMO would be that not everyone has quality sleep, so they might not have a long uninterrupted time in REM to properly dream.

    Personally even when I'm in the right state to experience dreams (the type that I do remember) they usually aren't very vivid, for the above reason or possibly something else. I also have aphantasia so it may be related (or other brain/life stuff). Once I did have a colorful-yet-still(ish) dream related to then-recent photography.

    @Hegar

    insomniac_lemon ,
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    When that older DX game port was released, I think it took like 3 or 4 days for them to take it down. Probably even like a patch stomp tuesday situation when the interns hand off the script detections off to the lawyers.

    It might take a bit longer if people stopped using sites like Youtube and Github, and tried not to include trademarked terms (or super-identifiable audiovisual content) anywhere.

    insomniac_lemon ,
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    You ever hear of starsan (no-rinse sanitation liquid)? I bet that really helps. Submerging could easily be a thing.

    E-Bikes Should Not Require Pedaling, Proposes U.K. Government, Diverging From E.U. ( www.forbes.com )

    E-bikes could get faster, more powerful and not require pedaling, in a move announced today by UKGOV. Cycling organizations are opposed to the plans.

    insomniac_lemon , (edited )
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    I don't mind the idea, I'm in the US but I've got a 250w ebike w/the EU speed limit* just because it was cheaper... plus faster is less efficient and human power means I get less blob-like so it's a win-win.

    Then again, it does have a twist throttle and I use this most often to slowly approach** or accelerate out of a stop sign (esp. crossing a road). Sometimes I've used it so I didn't need to pedal in the sun (I cannot really sweat). I've needed to use it twice when my chain fell off and I didn't have gloves with me. But generally my legs are contributing something... I wouldn't mind some sort of different throttle programming, but really I don't think my bike is one that is an issue at all w/throttle and throttle programming definitely wouldn't cover all of these scenarios.

    Another thing is if I come to a stop and have forgotten to change gears, throttle is a save there too thanks to it not using the chain for its gearing. Or it can just mean less gear-changing in general.

    *= 25 km/h (~15mph). I have not changed it, plus my bike (with me riding it at least) is not even quickly hitting this speed, most of the time I was going ~10mph. To hit motor cutoff speed on flat ground I'd probably need to be be in highest gear+PAS and be really putting a lot of effort in (including leaning down for less drag, I normally ride in a relaxed position).

    **= cadence sensor does not allow it w/o brake usage

    insomniac_lemon ,
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    I think a better example probably would just be the night sky (at least in places with non-optimal conditions). Where I'm at there is very little color even when it's clear enough to see galactic features (interstellar cloud/nebulae, clusters of dimmer stars etc).

    insomniac_lemon , (edited )
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    My aesthetic.


    Also, the title makes me think of the Catalyst Comet from Adventure Time. "Hey, how 'bout I get a new mode*?" "Prepare to discorporate."

    (though personally I don't believe in stuff like that so my hope would be to get my brain uninstalled and reinstalled into a new form with symbiotic systems. If anything.)

    *=mode of existence

    insomniac_lemon ,
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    What about, oh I don't know... a mirror? One of the things that most ebikes don't include (also a courtesy bell, loud horn is a different purpose).

    Then again, I haven't ridden my bike in a while (local trail closure) and even after getting a mirror riding near a road doesn't appeal to me (especially when in my area the alternative to being on the road is usually a ditch).

    insomniac_lemon , (edited )
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    I am all of the issues to some degree and AI outputs to me* just seem like dairy-free maple-coconut water cheese. So personally I'll just stick with nothing (substantial) until the format/workflow that I'm looking for (hopefully) becomes viable for me.

    Luckily writing a book or painting hyper-realism are not the only type of creativity.

    (also funnily enough, AI currently is just a different set of skills/knowledge especially for the better results or wrangling custom inputs/training/adjustments etc)

    *= Particularly what I can run locally, w/a 1050Ti. But also just really most examples of AI (aside from maybe the stuff that is either extremely overproduced/hand-picked or potentially faked)

    insomniac_lemon ,
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    You want to get eaten as a sex thing.
    I want to be euthanized by a woman in the woods, and I like the idea of her pet bear getting my brain as a treat.

    We are not the same.

    insomniac_lemon ,
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    Nah, I want the woman to dissect me and feed my brain to the bear. It's called sharing 🥰

    insomniac_lemon ,
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    Even then I see a lot of problems, and at least 3 of them are cost. I could maybe see a step down (more of a slowfall type thing negating body weight and using jumping) but even then I don't see that working well where all the land is owned (also: wires, momentum), and electric paragliding might be the more realistic today option (that probably isn't all that practical either).

    Sticking to the ground just makes more sense, heck for the brief moment when I had my legs not-fully-out-of-shape from riding my geared 250w ebike regularly (and after recovering from a 22 mile trip) I was wondering if a motor is even (fully) needed (assuming I could get a tri-fold knockoff or used minivelo for cheap for less weight... and possibly slightly smaller though my ebike is already 20" wheels thus a similar size category). And note I do have health issues (I still might want an ebike on a hot and sunny day, assuming a lighter bike is not a massive difference)

    insomniac_lemon ,
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    Probably because it is, and then add in federation issues (at least that's been my experience with Kbin). That and if I post about something niche people may have no reason to actually respond.

    insomniac_lemon , (edited )
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    Long enough to accept it. Lots of reasons that ultimately add up to being an inadequate person, but also no transportation/income in a semi-rural area (also health/personality issues) so I'm a shut-in and thus don't ever meet people. That said, even in school/college it's not like I ever really made strong connections with people, romantic or otherwise. Non-religious in USA (esp. given rural) certainly doesn't (and more so didn't) help with a dating pool either.

    And even if none of those were issues, I'm just not that interesting. I suspect the people who might like to be around me are probably also in their house more-often-than-not, and not within any distance/likelihood of meeting.

    The Canadian State Is Euthanizing Its Poor and Disabled ( jacobin.com )

    In 2022, Global News said the quiet part out loud: poverty is driving disabled Canadians to consider MAiD. Those “some” who are driven to assisted death because of poverty or an inability to access adequate care deserve to live with dignity and with the resources they need to live as they wish. They should never, ever feel...

    insomniac_lemon ,
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    IMO I don't ever see them allowing you to stop being a consumer especially not in such a way that makes them look bad. Best can be done is a cop shooting you when you have a mental health crisis. I also could see it being a genuine population crisis if it weren't even more strict/bureaucracy-hell than MAiD.

    Then of course, there will always be more people pushing back against programs like this than there ever will be for actually improving living conditions. People just don't want to see or hear any reference to death, continued suffering is a lot more indirect and nebulous and thus ignorable.

    insomniac_lemon , (edited )
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    Huh, I'm using technology as an escape from woodworking. Lack of space/tools and a few times when I tried to do something the wood was too seasoned (last thing I tried was whittling hoping to do it in my room anytime and not have dust as an issue, cheap folding knife probably didn't help)

    Well not fully true on the escape part, I just drop things really easy when I run into issues like that. Well that and I haven't done anything noteworthy with technology or woodworking.

    insomniac_lemon , (edited )
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    If you're a woman of the woods who will feed my brain to a bear, that'd put me at 80% on-board. As always, travel would be the issue.

    Though if I was awake for the eating part, I'd definitely make the joke "Is this a Tally Hall reference?" even though I made it now.

    insomniac_lemon ,
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    I posted some stuff and ran into this plus my threads not getting federated to certain places. And 3 weeks later they are still the newest posts on those communities (Kbin's ps1graphics and blender communities, note that Kbin communities seem to not use the community link format).

    I had some technical questions and a roadblock too, but they are niche so I just... didn't deal with it. Maybe there's an instance out there that'd fit (for me, someone who dabbles in art and programming while not really being those things), but also I doubt it particularly because I'm only interested in a semi-niche programming language. Audience vs niche seems like an unwinnable balance.

    I've thought about posting to a more popular lemmy.world community for the next thing I make as it would probably get more of a response, but probably not answers so that wouldn't matter since the stuff I made so far was just random objects. Well, I guess getting answers for Blender questions is more likely.

    insomniac_lemon ,
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    I haven't, the other community I was thinking of is !artshare which has 3.94K subs.

    My style is low-poly with vertex colors (no textures). My Blender questions weren't really that important, the roadblock I am having is trying to use said models in a specific framework (or maybe the very specific bindings I'm using) just not loading vertex colors (I am not sure if there is 'help' here, aside from just fix it).

    insomniac_lemon ,
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    It was a streaming site that pulled from a large amount of other sources automatically.

    Funnily enough it didn't have any discovery features whatsoever (no front page, popular, latest etc), it was just a search bar that took you right into the video so you needed an idea what it is you wanted to see. And I don't think it was nearly as popular as other sites (like you probably weren't finding it from search results, as I don't think it even had the info that'd be grabbed, and probably didn't even have SEO or anything like that)

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