Bro’s got a baseball bat and an image analyzer from a NOAA satellite, and all he had to do was buy a package of dates from the grocery and take a pic of one.
To start off, put the gummi worms in a shaker, shake, collect the sour dust, snort.
Next, add the whiskey to the shaker, set aside
Dunk the bread in the McNuggies sauce, sprinkle on cocaine to taste.
Add weed, thin crackers and coffee beans to grinder, grind thoroughly. Take the brie and your ground up spices, work them into each other as if you were making meatballs.
Eat this raw.
Ok, now vomit into the condoms.
Now that the appetizer is done with, grab handfulls of the other cheeses, salami, prosciutto and McNuggies, and just stuff it into your face as if you were eating popcorn.
Now that you've been thoroughly fucked by this culinary experience, finish it off with the drink you set aside earlier, which should hopefully be a lovely semi congealed glass of gummi whiskey.
Unfortunately my default joke state is basically dad jokes and puns, but my life has been so utterly absurd that I can basically just reference some insane nonsense that's happened to me in the past somewhat indirectly, and most people just think I'm creatively making a joke.
In seriousness, I have found that more conventional charcuterie boards are a pretty cost effective, while also decently fancy first kind of at someone's place date, if presented well.
I've done this multiple times and it has worked every time, and almost every time I'll be told this is extremely adorable and no one has ever done this for them...
...Then I find out, a year or two or three into the relationship, oh god, this person I love is extremely abusive, takes me for granted, and is astoundingly irresponsible.
So I guess just hand me both of those whiskeys, neat, please.
I’m a different person than who you replied to, and it’s the internet so I have no way of really telling, but yo you sound charming and fun. Also I’m sorry you had to go through that… I hope you find someone who isn’t an abuser and doesn’t suck, if you haven’t already. I’ll have a couple whiskies with ya.
Ah, then I’ll have a La Croix with ya, or a NA bitters and tonic or whatnot. I do not come from a lineage of alcoholics, but since COVID my partner and I have been drinking too much, all of the time. It’s definitely something we need to fix! Two shots of whiskey like in the pic would give me a slight buzz. It’s the exactly opposite of weed for me—one small hit and I’m overthinking all of my flaws for the next couple hours.
Good to have backup in case you get precum on the outside or for when you want to switch between penetration and other stuff (if youre unsure about STDs it's better to use one for oral too though)
Because without the chocolate, it's like eating slightly burnt coffee flavoured sand. I eat them all the time because I have a fucking problem, but I don't enjoy it.
Genetic fast metaboliser of caffeine. Need more caffeine to have an effect and more prone to addiction. I decided once to drink espresso until I got the shakes. I needed 12 shots.
Eating beans seems terribly inefficient though. Eating the 30g of beans in a cup of coffee or a shot of espresso for example would be quite the snack. Water extraction of caffeine is highly efficient so you aren't leaving a lot behind from coffee / espresso either.
Have you tried Guarana pills or slow release caffeine pills? No data, but I've found Guarana to be a less jolty longer lasting than most forms of caffeine
To be clear, I'm eating them along side a quad espresso, not instead of it. Pretty sure guarana pils aren't available where I live, and the only caffeine pills available are weak and expensive.
I think you can eat the seeds and it is apparently possible to home grow guauranna (I doubt that it's particularly easy to grow though). Keep it away from pets.
