I don’t have nostalgia. I don’t miss places. I may remember them vividly, and love something about them, and hold it dear in my heart, but when I leave - I don’t want to come back.
Actually, I feel rather bad if for some reason I have to. Because the place has already changed. Because I have already changed. Because we’re out of sync now(if we ever were). Because I don’t belong. And seeing that hurts actually way more than just not returning.
Maybe it has something to do with the lack of object permanence. Maybe it is more about that autistic refusal to accept the reality which differs from expectations. Inside, I feel like a kid having a meltdown in the middle of the shopping mall because the toy they got was not 100% what they imagined it was going to be. No place is what you remember when you return after leaving. Maybe that’s the reason.
Is it something other #neurodivergent people also experience often? Do you feel nostalgic often or refuse to get back?
@olena@actuallyautistic I think if more of my experiences as a child and growing up were more pleasant, I could see why it would be enjoyable; honestly it sounds like a privelage.
@olena@actuallyautistic I forgot it can mean a time past that doesn't involve childhood; I usually come across someone saying that word when they see something they remember as a kid. But yes, even for other effects I agree I generally don't feel nostalgic about it even if it was enjoyable.
@autism101@actuallyautistic Only in the past 10 years, give or take, have I started experimenting with what I like and want; I was too busy being an anxious and undiagnosed girl for most of my life that I didn't have time to pay attention to my clothes unless they were truly unbearable. So far I've developed an obsession with wool socks.
