Tim_McTuffty

Tim_McTuffty , 18 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 224 , Saturday 08/06/2024

A disturbed night full of nightmares & a dodgy stomach.

Up around 7am , now I can walk more or less normally I’m back on breakfast duty.

A quiet day again, reading & catching up on some more Supernatural.

Risked Pizza for tea as my stomach was feeling much better - time will tell how wise a decision that was.

Final Thoughts.

Reading up on a gout friendly diet - seems there are a number of changes that I need to make to avoid future flare ups.

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

Tim_McTuffty , 19 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 223 , Friday 07/06/2024

Up around 6am again , my foot was much better but without the codeine to balance the side effects of the Colchicine my digestive system went on the rampage!

Lots of exercise up & down the stairs today - it wasn’t pretty.

Come tea time & I was able to keep a glass of water inside me, so soup & a bread roll has been consumed - results being awaited as we speak (7:35pm)

Hopefully all will be well & I can have a naughty pizza for tea tomorrow !

Final Thoughts.

I am so glad my foot is so much better, that was a very unpleasant experience !

Special thanks to all who have supported me with love & laughs ! 🤗🥰

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

Tim_McTuffty , 22 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 220 , Tuesday 04/06/2024

My Pavlovian response got me up at 06:30, so hobbled down to breakfast.

The meds the Doc gave me yesterday are doing the biz as far as reducing the pain goes, if not the swelling.
It’s so nice to be able to walk again , even if it is only a shuffling gait!
The meds are also messing with my digestive system, had an egg butty for lunch which grumbled its way thru me this afternoon. So rather than a some ham & a bit of salad for tea it was soup, again !

Oh I hope this speed of recovery is maintained!

Final Thoughts.

Every thought I have at the moment is directed at getting my foot back to normal & not looking like a prop front the Elephant Man !

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

Tim_McTuffty , 23 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 219 , Monday 03/06/2024

Another disturbed night, slightly better than last night because I had learnt some lessons on ewhat my foot would & would not tolerate.

Went to see the GP this morning, I have, in fact, got gout . So on a 4 day course of Colchicine … the GP was very specific about the 4 days - apparently 5 days = my entire digestive system liquifying & a decent stay in the local hospital !

The new meds are working a storm in association with the pain killers , this evening I am walking (well shuffling) sans crutches ! It hurts like hell, but importantly it is bearable !
I hope that this means that I will get some decent sleep tonight !

Also made an appointment to see yon GP about my ADHD assessment in a week or so , so the journey continues !

Final Thoughts.

I am so relieved to be coming out of the other side of this gout flare up , is has been one of the most painful experiences of my life !
Hopefully future episodes will be avoided via ongoing medication.

I really hope that seeing yon GP later this month will be a positive move in my ASD journey !

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

Tim_McTuffty , 24 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 217 , Sunday 02/06/2024

So last night was fairly awful. My foot felt like someone was trying to rip it off while hitting it with a hammer !
I think I can safely say that it was the 2nd most painful experience of my life - the first was tearing my Achilles !

Mrs S. went adventuring in the loft to find my crutches (guess when the last time I used them was ! ) because my left foot is not weight bearing at all !

I finally got some relief after sailing dangerously close to an OD level of pain killers , & eventually fell asleep.

Been depending heavily on Mrs S. for help n support today , but still having to finish jobs she starts / ½ does. I am sitting heavily on my trigger responses , she is trying to help after all .

So the meds might be holding back the very worst of the pain, & spacing me out slightly , but it is also affecting my appetite. I really don’t feel like eating at the moment.

My toe is now really badly swollen , GP will be getting a call in the morning & hopefully I’ll get an appointment!

Final Thoughts.

I’m exhausted now, lack of sleep & the fact that limping around the house is actually quite tiring !
Hopefully have a better night tonight !

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

Tim_McTuffty , 25 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 217 , Saturday 01/06/2024

Woke up in agony at around 1:30am it seems that I may have gout in my left big toe (apparently one can inherit it - thanks Dad! ) & it hurts like a barsteward !
Hit the co-codamol , pain med of last resort (I need a high dose so I only use it when totally necessary ) & once that kicked in I was able to get back to sleep

The weather picked up thru the day & this evening is lovely & sunny.

Our neighbours - 3 doors down are having a party - an all day party - with the volume cranked to 11 , it’s becoming annoying because their taste in music is questionable to say the least!

I really hope that they pack it in before it gets late , it will be hard enuf to sleep without some tit playing Dennis waterman at 200Db ! 🙄🤦‍♂️

Starting a Blade fest tonight , been a while , still a good ‘turn your brain off’ movie , lots of tommy sauce & toasted vampires 😆

I’m high off the back of the pain killers at the moment , one of the reasons that they are a drug of last resort , it is making the whole experience slightly surreal!

Final Thoughts.

1st day of summer - please can we have some warm weather !

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

Tim_McTuffty , 26 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 216 , Friday 31/05/2024

Up just after 6am today.

A quiet day, the only thing of real note is that what ever is wrong with my left big toe is getting worse.
There are no signs of injury but it hurts to touch & is making it hard to get comfy at night.
Today I caught it as I tripped over one of the Varmints & it hurt like a bugger !
I am slowly falling apart - if anyone wants me for medical science now’s the time to get your bid on ! 😆

The weather has slowly improved today , this evening is lovely & sunny, if a little chilly !

Final Thoughts.

Even being retired, Friday is a special day. I realised it’s June tomorrow - nearly 6 months gone already !

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

Tim_McTuffty , 27 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 215 , Thursday 30/05/2024

Up around 6:30am today.

Breakfast & chores followed.

I was really tired today, & kept falling asleep at odd moments.

We went wild this evening had had pulled pork in a BBQ sauce with chips & sweetcorn for tea, livin the dream here in deepest darkest Yorkshire !

Final Thoughts.

The world is such a tough place at the moment, my heart goes out to those sharing my TL who are struggling thru far worse than I have to put up with!

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

Tim_McTuffty , 28 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 214 , Wednesday 29/05/2024

Up a little later today as Mrs S. was working from home.

Still fighting the agoraphobia , sometimes I wish I didn’t live so very far from my family, they would come round & drag me out.
But they live nearly 100 miles away & have their own lives.

Spent the morning totally indecisive about what to do.

Made some egg sandwiches for me n Mrs S. for lunch , then , as per had to clear up & wash the dishes too.

Ended up reading for a couple of hours then hit Fo4 after lunch.

Went wild & forsook the soup option for tea, in favour of spaghetti hoops with a couple of slices of toast - I really need to break out of the house so I can get some real food !

Final Thoughts.

Stupid brain going nuts about going outside !

I need to get myself out of this current episode , it’s not as bad as some I’ve had , but it is doing my tree in!

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

Tim_McTuffty , 29 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 213 , Tuesday 28/05/2024

Up at 6m as Mrs S. was back in work today.

Another day of fighting the agoraphobia & losing . The spectre of the world beyond the front door playing havoc with my mind.

Watching others sally forth, both in analog & digital life makes me realise how far I have to go to get better.

I would go to the GP, but the whole thing over the ADHD assessment has badly shaken my trust in them.
Also I am so very aware of the state of the NHS & I feel that I cannot deny other, more worthy souls their opportunity to get medical help.

So chores are done and now I roam the countryside around Boston in the virtual world of Fo4.
I was analysing my current play style & I am being so very logical about it - for no reason. I need to relax & play the game as I encounter it, instead of maximising companion potential or trying to do stuff in a set order.

Got a new stand for the iPad today , gotta get used to the new layout - it’s more comfortable if a little odd at the moment.

Final Thoughts.

Sometimes my autistic nature makes me miss communication cues. I fail to respond in the way folk expect , sometimes say things innocently that are misinterpreted because there are certain rules that I either don’t know or don’t understand.
I am kind by nature & like to see the best in people, I like to compliment folk, often the old adage ‘it’s nice to be nice’ comes into play.
Sometimes I do not recognise the unseen, unspoken edges of what is acceptable, people have blocked me before today for being too familiar too soon.This upsets me a great deal when it happens. Thankfully it has not happened since I got my diagnosis.
Now I know I am autistic I take steps to try & avoid the more obvious pit falls , but sometimes I forget or get a little over enthusiastic & folk bring me up short. Then I back away & something is lost.

I had hoped that my GP would help me find the help I need but they seem disinterested. For now I am on my own.

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

Tim_McTuffty , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 207 , Wednesday 22/05/2024

Up early as Mrs S. was in the office today.

Felt a lot better today , eating almost normally , just feeling somewhat knackered still.

There’s a calm, peacefulness when I’m on my own, especially at the moment.

After yesterday’s epic ‘War n Peace’ entry there is not much to add today.

Final Thoughts.

I’m hoping that full digestive services will be restored!

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

Tim_McTuffty , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 205 , Tuesday 21/05/2024

TL:DR Late up today , so was more or less ignored. Clues to whether I’m AuDHD & if I’m going thru a burnout period came to light from fellow ND Peeps.

I had a somewhat enforced lay in this morning, in that I was so exhausted that I simply slept thru all the noise that would usually wake me up.
I finally got up around 07:30. Life obviously went on without me, even though Mrs S. was working from home.

Me: I’m a total introvert & wish to be alone.
Also Me when wife zones me out because I was late to get up: I’m so lonely !!!
Is the mind of an ND bananas or what ! (Possibly some for of nut in my case 🤦‍♂️ )

I risked a ‘proper’ breakfast this morning - I seem to have survived it 😊

I would normally have cleaned the bathroom today, but because I’m not feeling so good that didn’t happen. I know from past experience it won’t get done until I feel well enough, be that days or even weeks 🙄🤦‍♂️

I wrote a little while back , when I got the results of my assessment thru , that the Consultant Psychiatrist had suggested that I be assessed for ADHD too. That is currently on hold.
But , & here’s the thing I read a toot ( linked below) from @ashleyspencer that totally spoke to me & I recognised EVERYTHING she was talking about !
Well call me a Squirrel & bounce a walnut off me ‘ed !
I number of other folk on here have suggested that I had ADHD symptoms , but I could never put the whole package together in my own head to the point that I ‘felt’ it!
Maybe I need to pull the whole ‘getting ADHD assessment’ off the back burner ?

I also realised ,based on a toot from @pathfinder (again see the link below) that I may well be experiencing a period of autistic burnout - it seems to be so similar , in key ways to where I am at the moment. No wonder I’m struggling!

Got back into the post-apocalyptic world of Fo4 this afternoon, I had forgotten how enjoyable this game is.

Final Thoughts.

I am struck once again how much I am coming to depend on the @actuallyautistic community to help me progress on my ASD journey and understand more about me!

Special thanks to Ashley & Kevin for pointing the way today. 🙏

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

https://autistics.life/@ashleyspencer/112474885392479715

https://beige.party/@pathfinder/112476066417549514

pathfinder , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic

Burnout is a bitch. I think all of us who have experienced it, or are experiencing it, will agree with that. But, how it presents and how long it maintains its hold over us, seems to be as variable as so much else about us.

I can now recognise the many times I have experienced burnout in my life. Each one marked by my constant refrain of, "I'm just tired" and with me doggedly plodding on with my life as best I could. Even now, in the deepest and longest burnout of my life, I am still doing the same.

Of course, I at least know to try and pace myself now. To let the unimportant things slide until their time comes and to spread out what has to be done, to the best of my ability. I know to dedicate time to self-care, to rest and recreation and to acknowledging my needs as an autistic person. This much, realising you are autistic can teach you. It can also help you to spot the signs of burning out sooner and hopefully mitigate its effects that way.

When that's possible, of course. For what caused my current burnout was unfortunately a series of overlapping events that I could not avoid, or do anything about. It was almost as if life chose to keep throwing things at me, each more intense and impossible to avoid, until I broke. But then life can be like that sometimes.

Autistic burnout is, of course, different from normal burnout, in what causes it and how it presents. It is, more often than not, a breakdown of our ability to cope with the demands being placed on us and not with how much we can carry. We are used to carrying insane loads and with having to work so much harder than most other people, just to keep putting one foot in front of the other through life. In fact, I know that I never really rest, not even now. My life is one long and continuous assessment and checking on whether the routines I have in place are being maintained. Whether I have done everything, on what needs to be done and finding new ways to blames myself for why it hasn't been done yet. There is no such thing as not working as far as my brain is concerned. And because I never stop, I don't know how to stop. How to heed the signals of tiredness and exhaustion and how to not knuckle down and continue anyway. It has been the story of my life. In work and everywhere else, always push, push, push.

And perhaps this is why autistic burnout is so common and possibly even inevitable. The sheer effort that life already is. The constant raggedy edge we walk just to get through a day and how in doing this day after day, all we end up doing is teaching ourselves to ignore the warning signs and that our needs are even important. And end up learning instead, that all that really matters is the next plodding step, no matter the load we are already carrying.

#Autism
#ActuallyAutistic

Tim_McTuffty , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 205 , Monday 20/05/2024

Was up till the early hours of this morning with stomach cramps after last nights daring attempt to eat scrambled eggs & beans for tea.

Spent the day getting lots of exercise up & down the stairs to take a pew, if you get my drift.

Attempted to interact on here a couple of times but my brain is apparently on sick leave so it didn’t go exactly to plan 🙄🤦‍♂️

Hopefully tomorrow will be better !

Final Thoughts.

Is the babel fish truly a fish if it spends most of its life out of water ?
This & other great questions of our age will have to wait until I can think straight!

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

Tim_McTuffty , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 204 , Sunday 19/05/2024

Up around 8am , Sunday turned out to be a lovely sunny day , which I enjoyed, relaxing & recovering!

Caught up on Mastodon, there are some tremendous folk on here !

Still struggling with the old appetite , exhausted as buggery but I am defo on the way back up !

Apparently there are albino badgers out there ! This is a wonder of the world !

Final Thoughts.

You know when you’re a kid & you dream of your future …

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

Tim_McTuffty , 1 month ago to ActuallyAutistic group

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 203 , Saturday 18/05/2024

Ruff as a bears bum today, no energy, no appetite, everything I do hurts.

It’s probably only man-flu again, I seem to catch every bug going at the moment & regular Squirrel Spotters will be aware that I’m a bit of a wuss when it comes to common or garden illness. 🙄🤦‍♂️

I keep plodding along, hoping that I catch a break at some point.

I am better this afternoon, this morning I felt like death warmed up, lunch was 5/6 of 2 rounds of toast - don’t ask - & tea will be venturing into the dubious gastronomic delights of a can of tommy soup.
I am a little brighter & well enough to write my diary, so that is an improvement.

Final Thoughts.

Please can someone hail a Delorean to transport me back to my 40s ?

I have to say that I am in total awe of those folk I know who live with chronic pain, chronic depression is a walk in the park in comparison, you peeps are the bravest folk I know!

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves