Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 213 , Tuesday 28/05/2024
Up at 6m as Mrs S. was back in work today.
Another day of fighting the agoraphobia & losing . The spectre of the world beyond the front door playing havoc with my mind.
Watching others sally forth, both in analog & digital life makes me realise how far I have to go to get better.
I would go to the GP, but the whole thing over the ADHD assessment has badly shaken my trust in them.
Also I am so very aware of the state of the NHS & I feel that I cannot deny other, more worthy souls their opportunity to get medical help.
So chores are done and now I roam the countryside around Boston in the virtual world of Fo4.
I was analysing my current play style & I am being so very logical about it - for no reason. I need to relax & play the game as I encounter it, instead of maximising companion potential or trying to do stuff in a set order.
Got a new stand for the iPad today , gotta get used to the new layout - it’s more comfortable if a little odd at the moment.
Final Thoughts.
Sometimes my autistic nature makes me miss communication cues. I fail to respond in the way folk expect , sometimes say things innocently that are misinterpreted because there are certain rules that I either don’t know or don’t understand.
I am kind by nature & like to see the best in people, I like to compliment folk, often the old adage ‘it’s nice to be nice’ comes into play.
Sometimes I do not recognise the unseen, unspoken edges of what is acceptable, people have blocked me before today for being too familiar too soon.This upsets me a great deal when it happens. Thankfully it has not happened since I got my diagnosis.
Now I know I am autistic I take steps to try & avoid the more obvious pit falls , but sometimes I forget or get a little over enthusiastic & folk bring me up short. Then I back away & something is lost.
I had hoped that my GP would help me find the help I need but they seem disinterested. For now I am on my own.
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
Should you always react the way others expect you to?
If we start thinking beyond such boundaries then many people would have it easier, no matter what diagnosis or path they have in life
For me, you are an asset and that is what counts in the end ❤️