@Nonbiner@todon.nl avatar

Nonbiner

@[email protected]

Transmasculine, bigender, white-looking biracial, middle-aged Dutch living with 2 cats.

Avatar: roze/pink Helichrysum Bracteatum

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yourautisticlife , to ActuallyAutistic group
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@actuallyautistic

Another autistic trait.... maybe...

I'm left-handed. Left-handedness correlates with neurodivergence.

I also have difficulty recognizing left and right. The labels appear arbitrary to me. If everyone swapped them around, we'd still be able to operate.

I've talked about the above before, but here's a new one.

If you ask me to put down cutlery at a table, you can toss a coin as to whether I'm going to do it right or wrong.

I'm probably going to flip everything, unless I reflect that I'm likely to flip everything and go against my initial impulse.

I cannot count the number of times this caused friction with my father. My ex-wife was nicer and gently corrected me.

Nonbiner ,
@Nonbiner@todon.nl avatar

@yourautisticlife @actuallyautistic

I'm right handed, but I sometimes forget which hand I was supposed to hold the fork in and which the spoon, bc with the knife and fork it is the other way round.

But I have moments where my procedural and/or social memory disappears. Suddenly I don't know how to open a file with a certain clasp. Or I don't know if I was supposed to say goodbye to people and who I might already have greeted.

yourautisticlife , to ActuallyAutistic group
@yourautisticlife@mast.yourautisticlife.com avatar

@actuallyautistic

I think the evidence is mounting that in some circumstances I can be rather slow to process emotions.

Sometimes it is not until the day after something happened that I get angry. During this "something" I keep a placid demeanor. This demeanor is not a strategy or a conscious decision.

Then, the next day, I realize how this very thing gives rise to emotions, often anger.

I'm wondering if it relates to alexithymia. I'm not confused about what I feel, but the feeling may get delayed.

Or maybe it is a combination of:

  • people pleasing,
  • autistic inertia,
  • alexithymia

Just thinking out lout about one of my characteristics here.

Nonbiner ,
@Nonbiner@todon.nl avatar

@yourautisticlife @actuallyautistic I have that too, and in my case, overstimulation plays a role. Emotions overwhelm me, causing me to be less verbal, while often a verbal response is expected of me in the situation. Or needed, e.g. to tell someone off.

I need complete calm and alone time to process what has happened.

LehtoriTuomo , to ActuallyAutistic group
@LehtoriTuomo@mementomori.social avatar

I've been trying to understand what it means that an autistic brain is bombarded with so much information. We spent some time at our summer cottage and I think I got some insight in this.

Instead of seeing the lake in front of my eyes, everywhere I looked I saw a detail. Its size would vary but it would still be a detail. A swan there, its partner there, no leaves on that tree yet, what a cool pattern on the small waves, what does it look like when I move my eyes this way, or that way, a car on the opposite shore, the shadow of the tree, I wonder what seagulls those are etc. A new detail with every single glance.

At the same time my attention tried to keep track of the dog and listened to birds singing and bumblebees flying around.

Now I wonder what it feels like just to see the lake.

@actuallyautistic

Nonbiner ,
@Nonbiner@todon.nl avatar

@LehtoriTuomo @actuallyautistic

Interesting. I do not see all those details, bc my brain deals with too much sound, wind, feelings, emotions. I have trouble seeing details others point out. What seagull?

My experience is more like a strong feeling while being there and seeing water in front of me.

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