Will I ever be seen as truly British?

My family immigrated to the UK from Poland when I was six. I'm 20 now, speak much better English than Polish and feel like this is my land/culture. However I have a Polish first and last name, Polish passport and "unique" accent everyone picks up on, so despite this I'm usually perceived as an outsider. It makes me really sad because I don't "belong" in Poland anymore either. Everything seems so complicated especially as I've gotten older with having to get the right documentation for work and opening a bank account and etc also.... Not even sure if I can vote in the next general election even though I feel like I should be able to?

I've had a few nasty instances of being told to go back to my own country, even had a conker thrown at my head while a boy yelled Polski at me in year 11, and tbh even just been seen as a novelty and being asked to say something in Polish has gotten really old. I guess I'm just wondering if I'll ever truly fit in. For some context, I grew up in North England and now live in Wales

Acamon ,

I thinknif you've lived in Britain that long most people would think of you as British, especially if you have a reasonably British accent. Where I live in Scotland, most people are happy to accept anyone who actually wants to live in Scotland as Scottish!

Hut there's always going to be racist idiots. I've been told I'm "not really British" just because I'm from Scotland (by someone who obviously doesn't understand the difference between England and Britain. And I've seem the whitest, pure Anglo-Saxon English people being called "not really British" because they wanted to stay in the EU. So, try to ignore the idiots!

MonkderDritte ,

Will you ever be yourself?

Legend ,

Will yourself ever be you ?

samus12345 ,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

You're culturally British, therefore you're British.

abcd ,

Being in the same situation in a different country, but a couple of years older: In my experience you never will be fully accepted by everyone. You will be the Polish guy in UK and the British guy in Poland.

You can identify yourself as what you want. You must learn that people have the right to have their own opinion even though it is wrong or opposed to yours. You have to learn not to care and live your life as a nice person. It doesn’t matter at all what others think as long as they don’t hurt you.

CalciumDeficiency OP ,

I am a woman, but other than that bang on

Timecircleline ,

I'm not sure if you're able to pursue citizenship, if it's something you're after, but in terms of the "unique" accent- you don't owe anybody an answer if they ask "where are you from?"

You can tell them you're English. You can tell them you grew up in England, truthfully. You can tell them English is the only language you speak. You don't owe anyone your backstory. If you're feeling petty or vindictive you can lie and say you have a speech impediment. I know their intentions are likely good but by inquiring about your accent, they are othering you. It's up to you how you'd like to respond.

Dreizehn ,
@Dreizehn@kbin.social avatar

The bloody Red Coats or as we call them in German, "Inselaffen." Tell them Rule Britannia sank long ago and the Polish 303 Squadron saved their asses during WW II. Keep your EU passport too, it's an excellent insurance policy in case shit goes wrong.

LainTrain ,

Not in the UK alongside British people for sure.

I'm in the same boat but not from Poland and I came over a tad later (12) but I'm also 5 years older.

I don't actually have an accent inherently but I always use an American one to obscure my country of origin.

It's really quite a backwards little country and they have an insular culture and hot opinions on 'de immigants' amongst other things, they're just polite enough to keep it to the voting booth most of the time until the the child alcoholism and the FAS kicks in.

They will always see you as defined by your nationality first because to them, it makes you fundamentally different as a person because they themselves are fundamentally defined by their nationality - (you can often tell by how much they rely on this as material for 'banter') - rather than how many other people see it - as a random side note of historical background of yet another human on this planet - a citizen of the world if you will.

I recall meeting a friend group of my S.O. who's been here all her life and went to school with those people and still the occasional joke about her country of origin gets a big laugh, not to mention the only brown person at the table only ever joked and got joked to about being Muslim, it wasn't offensive or anything, but you'd think the guy was a hardcore religious leader by how much it came up when he seemed like just some guy to me.

They might keep you around to pitch in with a fun fact about Poland (even if you don't really know any) or say something funny (to them) in your accent/language, but you'll never be actually British and treated as just another one of the peeps about the place.

Try to surround yourself with other people from diverse backgrounds if you can, which won't be possible in the norf (idk about Wales, never been) but you can definitely do this in London as British people are far and few between and so long as you steer clear of other majorly represented insular ethnic groups you can maybe find a multinational clique or what I had more luck with - an eastern european one with similar levels of integration and shared interests etc., and maybe consider living or visiting elsewhere, like the US which is far more diverse and your background matters far less.

Hope this helps.

sanguinepar ,
@sanguinepar@lemmy.world avatar

British people are few and far between in London? Ok then.

LainTrain ,

Compared to the rest of the country in the ethnic-cultural sense? Yeah absolutely.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_London

London is 36.8% White British

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manchester

For comparison a major metropolitan area like the city of Manchester is 59.3% White British

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brighton_and_Hove#

Brighton is 80.5% White British

Furthermore in London, 40.7% of people are born in another country, and 56.8% of people are born to a foreign-born mother. This is of course including those who identify as White British on the census.

That's what makes London so different from the rest of the country imo, and a way better place to be as a young person who doesn't feel like they belong elsewhere.

livus ,

We all agree London is cosmopolitan.

I think they were objecting to the phrase "few and far between".

You really can't use it to describe a situation of almost 2 in 5.

If 2 in every 5 cars you see are red you can't say red cars are few and far between.

LainTrain ,

Oh sure. I was speaking relatively.

CalciumDeficiency OP ,

Bloody expensive though

LainTrain ,

Yee, 's why I left.

sanguinepar ,
@sanguinepar@lemmy.world avatar

Compared to the rest of the country in the ethnic-cultural sense? Yeah absolutely.

Nobody disputes that London has a substantially more diverse population than other places - but it's still completely untrue to say "British people are few and far between" in London, even if you restrict it to White British (which your original claim did not).

LainTrain ,

Simmer down buddy, no need to get your blood pressure up - I clarified the statement didn't I?

sanguinepar ,
@sanguinepar@lemmy.world avatar

Blood pressure is fine, thanks.

You did, but I wasn't wrong to object to your original, unclarified claim.

The reason I did is that it's the kind of thing that you hear being used as a racist dog whistle - "Oh, there are parts of London that are no-go areas, you never see a white face..." etc.

I'm not saying you were doing that, but the way you worded it left it open to that interpretation.

LainTrain ,

Ah in that case yeah I definitely did not mean it that way, but it's also not a good look for the left to come off as to utterly deny demographics when facts are very easy to find, especially if you have a pro-immigration stance.

sanguinepar ,
@sanguinepar@lemmy.world avatar

it's also not a good look for the left to come off as to utterly deny demographics

Not sure if you mean me here, but I didn't think I was doing that at all.

cabbage ,
@cabbage@piefed.social avatar

You'll never be anything less than what you are, but that's a strength. Just speaking two languages well already puts you at an advantage. The experiences you have of seeing the cultures in relation to each other also gives you an edge.

Sometimes it's nice to be able to just blend in, but life is all about learning and gathering experiences and impressions, and you have a head start. It might not always be easy, but you'll learn to appreciate it.

And as long as Poland is in the EU I'd much rather have a Polish passport than an English one.

GreatAlbatross ,
@GreatAlbatross@feddit.uk avatar

You will be truly British once you register on feddit.uk

In seriousness, I like to think it's a state of mind. If you find yourself generally aligning most with the more positive British attitudes, you're British. Though living in Wales, you may end up feeling more Welsh eventually!

If you want to feel more connected, try getting involved with local festivities and traditions.
Explore the countryside with the Ramblers. Do some pub quizzes. Go to a folk festival.
The sorts of things that involve you with pleasant people.

lvxferre ,
@lvxferre@mander.xyz avatar

I'm perhaps a bit biased because for me a country boils down to a government, and I'm from the new world (we tend to see immigrants differently - more like "newcomers" and less like "outsiders"), but I'd consider you British.

That doesn't say much though. At the end of the day, "you're British" or "you're Polish" seem fairly minor to me, compared with "you're human" and "you're you".

Rumbelows ,

Much of the North and Wales are still not very diverse Part of what you were experiencing is the fact that you really do stand out.

Bristol is not so very far away from you, and it’s a very cosmopolitan city… No one there will give a fuck I do assure you.

jbrains ,

You might be able to find people who accept you, even if the average Brit doesn't. People have strange ideas about whom to hate and why.

It's complicated and I can't pretend to really understand your situation, but I trust that feeling pity for them works better for your mental health than any other reaction, including trying to ignore them. Whatever you do, don't let yourself believe them.

Peace.

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