@actuallyautistic#actuallyautistic Just found out that NT people have REAL habits that happen basically on autopilot. This is news to me.
What most NT people think of as a "habit" I think of as a "task," even if it is a part of my routine. For example, brushing and flossing my teeth is a part of my daily routine, but I have to make myself think about each action separately. I wouldn't call them habits because I literally remind myself to do them every night. It isn't automatic.
I think maybe some of us (okay, me) don’t yet have a full understanding of our ADHD. I have never thought of my self as impulsive. I’m not spontaneous, & like to think things through & prepare for things. But it turns out that there are elements of impulsivity in my ADHD, which present as impatience & irritability. https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/divergent-conversations/id1662009631?i=1000659012352
@Susan60@chevalier26@actuallyautistic I know so little about my ADHD. My therapist (who is ADHD) explained to me that impulsivity is not only physical, that I don’t have, but also verbal that I have. I had no idea!
Sadly I can’t listen podcasts, it’s impossible for me to focus on.
@Susan60@adelinej@chevalier26@actuallyautistic
Well, I certainly know the feelings of impatience and irritability. But, I'm also a great thinker and planner. I will also research the hell out of anything I'm looking to buy. But, then once I've made my mind up, I then have to buy it as soon as possible.
@chevalier26@actuallyautistic That is wild. I hadn't thought about that difference like that before. And just as wild, NT people invent rituals so they have something to do as a group, even if it is completely meaningless, useless, and subject to change. For example, casual Fridays.
"completely meaningless, useless, and subject to change."
I'm trying to think of group activities that actually aren't pointless and not coming up with many. War, for sure. Performance/ entertainment. Schooling? Dancing as mating ritual?
Well, if I take the word "ritual" literally, then it means mostly religious practices, which are, if you are not religious, by definition meaningless and useless.
In the wider meaning, things like regular maintenance tasks could fall under "rituals". Maybe playing games together, which is a group activity that could be performed on a regular basis.
done in accordance with social custom or normal protocol
Their examples include handshakes to seal deals or background checks. NT folk have a lot of rituals. They just see them as "normal social customs" and so no one questions them.
Like Noah Lyle running races with a Yo-Gi-Oh card (I think that's what they are) with him.
@Uair@joshsusser@chevalier26@actuallyautistic just that people don't build their lives around things because they're meaningless, there's a meaning. Not saying any of them know or care what it is, but there is one.
I could come up with a few dozen... Hair brushing, kissing, hugging, killing, wearing clothes, walking, tying shoes, coughing, sneezing, breathing, clapping, laughing, ignoring, choking, knee slapping, butt kissing (figuratively), play football, etc
@Uair@chevalier26@actuallyautistic I didn't say pointless, but that's not far off. I think a good ritual has elements of meaning, utility, and tradition. A wedding ceremony is meaningful, useful, and traditional, and I don't think they're pointless either, so there's one for you. Also birthday parties, Thanksgiving dinners, and graduation ceremonies. Marking transitions is a primary function of rituals.
@Uair@joshsusser@chevalier26@actuallyautistic I don't think many group activities are pointless. I think a fair whack don't fulfil their point (The Olympics) or are actively harmful (hazing).
A lot of group activities, whether ritual or less formulaic (a ritual is just a series of actions always performed in the same way) are group bonding (singing around a campfire, saluting the haggis) or mark a stage in life (bar/bat mitzvah). Some are simply fun (clapping games, ceilidh dancing).
Anything that I know I'll have to do over and over again, I work up a system - a series of steps that can't vary, or it'll throw me off completely.
I've been a mess for the last week, both in mourning, and because my dog's death has thrown my "home from work" system into chaos. Coffee doesn't get set up, parrot sometimes has to demand food NOW! because I had to skip getting dog food ready and everything else suffered.