Our entire life can be lived on a bed and still will be a life somehow. I do not have shame to sleep more that stay awake. Hope you can take your worse and make it shine, because I think it is all about this.
I saw a comic that covered this. This is just one person's experience, but maybe it could help you understand your own situation better, and maybe help the people around you help you?
some people do not thrive on intimacy and closeness. for some people, maintaining more than one or two deeply emotional relationships requires more energy than they can commit.
it sounds to me like you have a habit of running headlong into other people's boundaries without really considering their perspective. it may leave you feeling shut out, but it takes a lot of energy for people to set and enforce those boundaries and you'll be happier if you learn to respect them.
True, though part of me rushing in is that I'm trying to understand their perspective. I do try to respect boundaries, but I'm not a mind-reader. I guess most people can kind of read boundaries. For me, I need to be told.
People have all kinds of personal reasons for keeping their distance from others, which are all valid of course. However as a neurodivergent person myself who also experiences this freezing out from others, I can't help but think it's linked to the fact that they've clocked me as different. Often people are motivated by building social capital and I don't have much of that so I feel like people think there's just no real benefit to connecting with me.
I think there's more to mental health problems than just socioeconomic impacts. I'm a fan of a well rounded approach that uses therapy as well as medicine to treat problems properly.
Depression is a wonderful example, society can easily trigger depression in people, but there's plenty of evidence to suggest that there is a genetic predisposition to having depression. That to me is why I seem to see the best improvements in my friends that find a good antidepressant but also have regular therapy sessions. At least that's my perspective on the matter.
I have seen stats about genetic dispositions, yes. Wikipedia says 40% of a person's risk of having major depression comes from genes.
Still. One thing is that you don't know what your genes are. Your genes might have less of a risk than you think. But also, maybe an increased risk can be dealt with through lifestyle choices. I'm not saying people shouldn't take meds if they want to take them, and I think personal choice is extremely important. But the meds do have annoying and somewhat harmful side effects... so I suppose that has to be weighed up in a decision to take the meds or not.
Genetic predispositions also aren't necessarily written in stone. At this point, we have a lot of research showing genes can be turned on/off by diet and environmental or nurture-based factors.
Pretending it's OK for kids to be traumatized if we can just drug them or have them speak to a therapist once they're older (or increasingly now, starting from childhood) has never made sense to me. It's not like either of those things cures people. The treatment bar being set at life being just okay enough to hold down a job is shortchanging everyone, societally, even those making short-term profits.
We should be looking for ways to eradicate serious mental health issues that affect people's ability to function, not just make them easier to hide.
Yes this makes sense to me. I definitely think we should look for better ways to deal with mental health problems. And yes you're probably right that we should have a better standard than simply "you can now slave at a job, therefore you're healthy".
I think one good solution for mental health problems (maybe not always, but it can work) is talking to somebody who is willing to listen. This can be hard to find. But there are mental health charities out there who do great work in talking to people who are having problems. There are support phone lines and things like that.
If it lasts for an hour and then you are fine, then it’s not depression, at least not in a diagnosable sense. Not having an interest in things is absolutely a symptom of depression, but symptoms generally need to last for at least 2 weeks and have to cause you significant distress or affect your functioning.
What you are describing sounds like being human to me. Maybe you are really introspective or a highly sensitive person, so these states get triggered more readily.
Your resume should be about what you ACCOMPLISHED, not what you were responsible for.
Your resume should be a table of contents into stuff you can talk about that will show you in a positive light, it's not a book with lots of backstory and context.
Remembering those two key things will help with any resume.
From inside the mental health industry it doesn't feel like we're pushing drugs because we're too hooked on this model and afraid to be scrutinized; we all know none of this is actually getting solved until there's widespread social reform. Being able to hand out the drugs just feels like the only tool we've been handed.
It's like being on a tiny life boat boat full of life jackets in the middle of a sea of people thrown into the ocean. I could start pulling people onto my tiny boat but eventually that'll sink it. I do have all these life jackets I can throw at them though, which will buy a little more time for somebody with a bigger boat to come along and scoop them up. I don't think it's the people in tiny boats handing out life jackets that's the issue; I think it's whoever actually does have the resources to actually come get them and just won't. I also think I would be generous to say it's that they don't care when the truth is they're actively benefiting from people being afraid of falling getting pushed into the water. And yeah, nothings really going anywhere until we stop dumping people overboard in the first place.
I'm going to abandon that metaphor before it loses its usefulness. But yeah TLDR, I don't hand people drugs because I think it will fix them, I'm just trying to buy this person time until they can either fix themselves, or until someone cares enough to give them the support they truly need and that I don't personally have in me right now. I guess I can't speak for everybody in the industry but all my coworkers seem to know we're at best just handing out life jackets and its ultimately on the patient and particularly society at large to not waste that extra time bought.
And honestly if you want one issue that I think will legit just solve about 3/4 of the mental health crisis it's housing. It's literally just housing. And not shelters, I've never met anyone who really feels safe in one, they all tell me they got beat or raped or stolen from in one. No we need to just start putting people in houses. But I could write a wholeass Manifesto on this (and I think I may have somewhere in my comment history).
I actually fucking hate this take.
Every single "therapist" is currently obsessed with this supposed link. As a consequence, they keep just spouting all kinds of nonsense about how activity or movement is the key to creating your own happiness chemicals.
Well, fucking newsflash, it doesn't work for just anyone. I could work out an entire day and all I would feel afterwards would be sore and tired. I somehow seem unable to generate endorphins no matter how rigorous my physical activity. This has always been the case in my life, even long before I was officially diagnosed with MDD.
And before you assume me to be 350lb basement dweller, my BMI IS 22 and I'm actually an attic dweller (;))
Again, not saying there IS no link and that it isn't important, but it's being treated as the "cure du jour" and it seems to be a fad to me.
I don’t really have any trusted adult is the issue. I already used and disposed of my father because he was unhealthy for my life. Though I don’t trust my mom. Otherwise the only person I could go to is my Grandma and she has no idea and I don’t wish to break her heart.
A therapist skilled at working with DID is what you need. People with DID can live normal lives after proper treatment, although it does take a long time. It can be hard to find one though.
Way to go! What you are describing could potentially be a result of serious trauma - no way to tell without a professional assessing you. You may want to look for someone who uses parts work therapy, like internal family systems or ego states therapy. And of course someone who specializes in DID. Please don't ever write yourself off as "broken" or anything like that. You absolutely can get better!
I don't think I can offer any advice, nor should I. I'm not a trained professional.
I am proud of you for seeking help though. I hope you can find peace, and I hope you find it by extending the love and compassion you feel for the innocent to all things. Good luck on your journey.
I hope you realise that now you're fighting the patriarchy. They want us to believe that men have their shit together and women are all runny eye-makeup and hysteria. It's a big fight to pick.
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