I don’t really have any trusted adult is the issue. I already used and disposed of my father because he was unhealthy for my life. Though I don’t trust my mom. Otherwise the only person I could go to is my Grandma and she has no idea and I don’t wish to break her heart.
A therapist skilled at working with DID is what you need. People with DID can live normal lives after proper treatment, although it does take a long time. It can be hard to find one though.
Way to go! What you are describing could potentially be a result of serious trauma - no way to tell without a professional assessing you. You may want to look for someone who uses parts work therapy, like internal family systems or ego states therapy. And of course someone who specializes in DID. Please don't ever write yourself off as "broken" or anything like that. You absolutely can get better!
I don't think I can offer any advice, nor should I. I'm not a trained professional.
I am proud of you for seeking help though. I hope you can find peace, and I hope you find it by extending the love and compassion you feel for the innocent to all things. Good luck on your journey.
So the things that help me the best. Making sure I do my self-care. For me that looks like meditation, exercise, seeing a therapist, and going to mental health support groups (NAMI it's an excellent resource for this).
Here's a meditation that will help you to be more aware of your thoughts and some techniques to help you ground.
This is more of a practice and less of something to do when you're having a ton of racing thoughts.
And this is a body scan, you can use this to help your body relax and your mind to be aware of your body instead of your thoughts. It would be helpful to try to fall asleep to it. And if you can't fall asleep at least to relax and get more rest.
Sometimes things go wrong and I get very close to being homeless. I get scared, and suddenly it’s easy to know how to spend my days.
The crisis creates a clarity of path. And when I experience myself fighting against that impending catastrophe, I find parts of myself that are strong and noble and relatively free of mental health problems.
I’m actually really functional in a crisis.
I think this is a major problem we face as a civilization: the lure of life-altering disaster as a way to give ourselves direction.
I think for me the path out of this cycle of failure is, for me, to find something to work on passionately when I’m okay. But I really struggle with this. I over-intellectualize, and I look at like twenty different options for how I can help and they all seem good and they all seem scary and I end up choosing nothing, other than survival, and then because I didn’t find that mission to set myself on, my subconscious manifests another disaster so that I can feel myself come awake.
As individuals and as a group, I believe we either find a mission worth growing and striving for, or via self-sabotage, we downgrade our lives to a survival struggle because at least it’s a mission.
I've been there and it's rough. The worst thing you can do is stay in bed and give in to the cycle of negativity, which will only make things worse. Try to get outside and spend time with friends and family as much as possible, even when you don't feel like it. Exercise can seem like the last thing you want to do, but it does help boost your endorphins and feel more positive.
I also had good results with using techniques Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which helps to assess negative thoughts and control them to a certain degree.
And if you need something stronger, speak to a medical professional. There are medications that can help.
That sucks. Personally, exercise is essential for me. Also, I would consider an ebike. I've been doing it for about a year, 30mi round trip for work. Even through most of a Michigan winter. Really trying to never have to deal with a car again. Recently got a mototcycle for those real long trips. Best of luck
Rigorous exercise might help. Just being able to vent some of those bottled-up frustrations while pumping your body will help process them a little bit. It'll also physically tire you to potentially make sleeping a little bit easier.
I actually fucking hate this take.
Every single "therapist" is currently obsessed with this supposed link. As a consequence, they keep just spouting all kinds of nonsense about how activity or movement is the key to creating your own happiness chemicals.
Well, fucking newsflash, it doesn't work for just anyone. I could work out an entire day and all I would feel afterwards would be sore and tired. I somehow seem unable to generate endorphins no matter how rigorous my physical activity. This has always been the case in my life, even long before I was officially diagnosed with MDD.
And before you assume me to be 350lb basement dweller, my BMI IS 22 and I'm actually an attic dweller (;))
Again, not saying there IS no link and that it isn't important, but it's being treated as the "cure du jour" and it seems to be a fad to me.
Give yourself time. All “injuries” are different, and may take varying amounts of time to heal. It may be that burning out multiple times has made that spot in your psyche a little more sensitive each time. So while you’ve addressed the problem, it may just need more care before you feel better.
Allow yourself the opportunity to sit in these feelings. Don’t try to push them away or distract yourself from them. You have to face them head on and learn from them. If you cover them up with something else, then you’re not really dealing with them. They simply get queued up for the next time, and next time will be worse.
As for the next two years, it feels like a lot, but it’ll be over before you know it. Good luck on your exams, btw! You’ve got this!!
“Depression” in a medical context is not something that simply goes away. The cause is not a stressor such as exams. It is an unnatural imbalance of chemicals in your brain. This can only be treated by medication, or you can mask and adapt to learn to live with it.
I’m sure stressors can trigger episodes of more severe symptoms but one does not simply “problem solve” away depression.
This is not to say you have medical depression. However, if you notice this feeling does not go away, it may be time to consult your doctor as this is no replacement for medical advice.
When you start asking yourself "why am I sad" without having a good answer and still just being sad, that's a good sign that you should seek professional help.
Depression often does not have a cause, in that fixing a problem won't make the depression go away. I think one of the things often characterising depression is that it is unexplained sadness. Seek help.
Hmm, ok I'll consider it. Whenever I've had it before it went away after I solved the problem. And I've only had it for a week atm. But I will if it carries on like this.
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