I apologize but this will be kind of dark. As a father I know you are going to be desperate to protect her, but don’t wax poetic about dealing violence to anyone who would do her wrong. For example, don’t talk about beating her current boyfriend/girlfriend if they cross her. Girls are going to have shitty relationships because that’s a part of growing up. Don’t make her think talking to you about them is the nuclear option when she’s still trying to figure out what is acceptable and her boundaries. If she thinks you’ll go beat the shit out of any one who looks at her funny, she might not come to you with her problems until she is willing to accept her dad going to prison for a long time. Everyone is right about listening to her, but make sure she that she knows that you can be trusted. Listen, accept her decisions, work with her, and not to fly off of the handle. Best of luck new father, since you’re asking the right questions I think you are going to be fine.
I am really happy that people are willing to consider how toxic that aggression is. It’s so engrained in our culture that it’s considered normal when a father threatens to have his gun out when first meeting his daughter’s partner. Nobody really thinks about the effects of this normalized violence.
Daughters and Fathers
This is a serious question, mostly addressed to the adult women among us but also to anyone else who has a stake in the matter....