Fuck off, you think you know me ?
You would have not made it having been through half of my life. I keep fighting in hopes that things get better and KNOW my shortcomings. If you think I haven't tried reading books you are way off track. I have had a huge collection of books and LOVED reading but the fact is it takes me over a year to read a normal book as I fall asleep after two pages and have to reread every line multiple times and of course I don't remember the line I just read but you think that everyone is the way you are and assume. I guess you think I'm a lazy fuck who never tries anything to get better do you ? Fuck off and goodbye!
Will give a look tonight, my laptop died but I have a rpi4 running that might be enough to sail the high seas again for this old sailor. It's been a looooong time since but I will find my path once again.
Being interested is not my problem, the more I want to read something the harder it is to not drift in my mind and have to restart a few lines before. And after a few pages I just start to nod and fall asleep. It's hard to describe. The worst is even if I power through a book I can't remember it the next day. Some events might bring back part of the story in my mind but it's never enough to even make a quote. It's the same for movies although I dont fall asleep I can't remember it the next day. I hate that, and it's not like I have no memory at all I will remember stupid shit other did or where they left stuff etc but the more I need or want to remember something the more I risk forgetting.
I run the pie with a Kingston 100Gig ssd with a usb adaptor.
I used to be torrenting all the time and can adapt to new software and techniques easily. I also played with tech all my life from basic electronics, computers hardware and software etc... Lately I kind of don't watch movies and have Tidal for music so I just don't use PC's much other than playing YouTube on my TV before bed.
And was often left undiagnosed in the past. I know I probably have it hard and somewhere on the autism spectrum. (My estranged father, sister and nephew all have been diagnosed at varying degrees/combinations). But I can't even get a appointment at my doctors office, there is never availability and I tend to stop trying after a few times until it bugs me again. It's like the system here is made to weed out people like me.
It's kind of nice to know why I felt/feel so inadequate. But it also hurt to know I will never feel normal. At 46 I feel so at a lost at a chance of a better future. I fucked it up so often, have no savings, have to work two jobs to barely get by (keep on doing bad financial decisions) etc... I always hope to win the lottery (I almost never play it) just to not have the stress of life catching up to me and going back on the streets.
Guanghu Cui was poring over his TD Bank statements in March, preparing to pay taxes for his small immigration consulting firm in Oakville, Ont., when he noticed a $1.50 fee for sending an e-transfer....
I switched from Scotiabank to Tangerine (owned by Scotiabank) and went from 17$ a month with 5 free e-transfer to a 0$ a month with unlimited e-transfer. And the rates are also fair. And I qlso got a free 200$ for switching bank lol.
When Bloomberg reported that Spotify would be upping the cost of its premium subscription from $9.99 to $10.99, and including 15 hours of audiobooks per month in the U.S., the change sounded like a win for songwriters and publishers. Higher subscription prices typically equate to a bump in U.S. mechanical royalties — but not...
A group of influential Republican senators has sent a letter to International Criminal Court (ICC) chief prosecutor Karim Khan, warning him not to issue international arrest warrants against Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and other Israeli officials, and threatening him with “severe sanctions” if he does so....
Cognizant descent
Medieval owl scale ( lemmy.world )
R u on call, Human? Let's go tussle ( i.imgur.com )
Structure is a double-edged sword ( lemmy.world )
Addiction is a scary thing. ( lemmy.world )
Customer who filed complaint against TD Bank refuses to sign gag order to get compensation ( www.cbc.ca )
Guanghu Cui was poring over his TD Bank statements in March, preparing to pay taxes for his small immigration consulting firm in Oakville, Ont., when he noticed a $1.50 fee for sending an e-transfer....
After announcing increased prices, Spotify to Pay Songwriters About $150 Million Less Next Year ( www.billboard.com )
When Bloomberg reported that Spotify would be upping the cost of its premium subscription from $9.99 to $10.99, and including 15 hours of audiobooks per month in the U.S., the change sounded like a win for songwriters and publishers. Higher subscription prices typically equate to a bump in U.S. mechanical royalties — but not...
EXCLUSIVE: “You Have Been Warned”: Republican Senators Threaten the ICC Prosecutor over Possible Israel Arrest Warrants ( zeteo.com )
A group of influential Republican senators has sent a letter to International Criminal Court (ICC) chief prosecutor Karim Khan, warning him not to issue international arrest warrants against Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and other Israeli officials, and threatening him with “severe sanctions” if he does so....
Don’t mind the totally not creepy shrine next door. ( feddit.uk )