What song should I play for my bathroom neighbors?

The work bathroom is currently a warzone, on their phone speakers people like to play music, play games at full blast, and one guy likes to chill to ambient rainforest. What song can I play to passive aggressively make it known that I don't want to listen to their tik tok feeds while I work out my demons?

Zachariah ,
@Zachariah@lemmy.world avatar

Earth 2: Special Low Frequency Version

almost anything by Negativland

Kontakte by Karlheinz Stockhausen

almost anything by Einstürzende Neubauten

victorz ,

You need to find the natural resonance frequency of the room, or stall, and make that noise. The whole room will be a huge subwoofer.

But all these tips aside, am I the only one to think that it's shameful to be on my phone on the toilet with sound so that others hear? Especially in the workplace? What kind of workplace is this? Median/average age?

shikitohno ,

People are wild these days. My wife and sister have both, working in different industries and companies, come home and informed me they were freaked out and a bit repulsed to discover coworkers in the bathroom, audibly having a bowel movement of some sort, with an iPhone on the floor of the stall facetiming their partners. These were both work places that skewed younger, but people have just been going feral. My last job, I walked into the bathroom and heard what I assumed was the Smack, smack, smack of somebody jerking off, only to find out it was a guy near his 60s doing clap push-ups in front of the urinals.

victorz , (edited )

What the actual fuck.

  1. Don't be in the way of people trying to use the urinals.
  2. Don't put personal items on the floor of a bathroom. The floor of a bathroom is particularly disgusting.
  3. Don't put your HANDS on the floor of a bathroom. See (2)! FFS.

People are gross?!

One time I found someone's phone here in one of the office bathrooms, on top of the paper towel dispenser. I actually took it out and placed it on a stool by the foyer where we hang our coats and stuff and took a picture of it there, and pretended like that's where I found it so that the person wouldn't be embarrassed by me posting on Slack that I found it in the bathroom. That's how ashamed I am of this concept, that I don't want others to feel that shame.

But these people you describe are acting like they're still at home and nobody's around, wtf.

Libertus ,

I think that Diamanda Galas - The Litanies of Satan (or any other of her works) will be appropriate.

Arghblarg ,
@Arghblarg@lemmy.ca avatar

"F*ck My Shit Stinks", by The Dayglo Abortions.

drasglaf ,
@drasglaf@sh.itjust.works avatar

Metal Machine Music. They'll love it.

sanguinepar ,
@sanguinepar@lemmy.world avatar

I once made myself sit and listen to that entire album, aware that it was generally regarded as horrible.

It was. But I also found myself kind of getting into it after a while.

drasglaf ,
@drasglaf@sh.itjust.works avatar

That's some strong will, I could never take more than 2 minutes of torture.

sanguinepar ,
@sanguinepar@lemmy.world avatar

After MMM, waterboarding should be a doddle if it ever comes to that.

NeoNachtwaechter ,

Play a few talks from Sergeant Hartman.

Drummyralf ,

I could be friends with the rainforest guy. Seems like a chill dude, just wants to shit in peace.

nicknonya ,
@nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

find the most obscene shitting sfx and play that at full blast to cover your full blasts

Shampiss , (edited )

CBAT - they will get horny, jerk off in sync to the rhythm then leave

Alien Hip Hop - they will be either extremely confused or will get inspired to leave and form a prog rock band immediately

The Woven Web - it's such an incredibly sick song that they will have to mute their speakers and bop to it

LogicalDrivel ,
@LogicalDrivel@sopuli.xyz avatar

The Woven Web

Damn what a song! Thanks for the new group to binge on!

scytale ,

Lmao let’s see them try to time their farts with Alien Hip Hop.

AnEilifintChorcra ,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4k6VFcaFeC0

chairman ,

Dante's Inferno: Beatrice A XXX Parody

sp3tr4l , (edited )

Hockey Scores.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VbZMnF1VNlE&pp=ygUXaG9ja2V5IHNjb3JlcyBtZW1lIHNvbmc%3D

Ideally, start multiple looping instances of the song, at between 0.5 to 2.0 second delays.

Edit: Or, the Terrifying Tiny Tim rendition of Tiptoe Through The Tulips.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zcSlcNfThUA&pp=ygUYdGlwdG9lIHRocm91Z2ggdGhlIHR1bGlw

fakeman_pretendname ,

Can you encourage them to hurry up with a bit of "Push It" by Salt-N-Pepa?

"Push it"
"Push it real good"

MadBob ,

The shipping forecast?

RobotToaster ,
@RobotToaster@mander.xyz avatar

Anything about unionisation, the boss will have security staff in there the next day.

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • [email protected]
  • kbinchat
  • All magazines
    •