At the heart of this is the unfortunate fact that nuance is lost in online discussion. The reason that the bear scenario is so notable is it is so polarising. "yes! That's how I feel!" vs "you're reducing me to a threat"
An honest and direct conversation between two peers is far more likely to have a lasting effect. Hearing what the lived experience is directly from the person who's experiencing it is far, far more more compelling than the stark bear statement.
I don't feel unsafe most of the time. But I have felt unsafe and vulnerable before. Thus when a female colleague told me about being followed by a guy in a park while walking her dog, and feeling torn between straight running away and keeping her pet safe, it resonated directly with me. I could see her reliving the experience and see her distress. She shouldn't have to go through that. It's not fair.
That conversation resonated far more completely than the bear tweet.
The reason I say in person is because if the amount of information which is transmitted via direct conversation is orders of magnitude higher than through eye contact, tone, language and body language.
If you and I were talking right now, I could maintain eye contact, rotate my shoulders so I face you, position my head in a way that says I'm listening, use my voice to indicate that I'm contrite, or uncomfortable, or supportive.
It can be excruciatingly uncomfortable for people who are used to having virtual tools abstract away the hard parts of interaction. But that's exactly what (in this case) women are saying they feel. They feel, in the real world, they're not safe. To me, the weight of that comes from a direct interaction rather than a news article or twitter post.
I have a laser level that I'd like to use for lining up pictures on my wall. I'm doing this by myself otherwise I just have someone else hold it. It has a couple holes in it that look like maybe you could use screws or nails and I'd rather not have to put holes in the wall to do this. Any suggestions?
Been homeless over 6 years. My social services agency, high turnover. Being female , almost all my case managers have been female, standard practice....
I spent a bit of time going through your post history to get an understanding of your background
In short I think your life experiences mean you've lost all trust in men. Not just your direct experiences but what you've observed in others.
As a result you enter each interaction assuming the worst. Every male social worker you engage with will confirm this pattern because that's what you're looking for. The - ah fuck here we go again - feeling.
For them, and I don't expect you to have empathy for them, this is what they live - the outcomes of other mens behaviours. But - they were there and they tried. That is something.
You have changed quite a lot of your original post.
Men’s mental health matters too ❤️
nuanceposting ( lemmy.cafe )
Important clarification/FAQI am not calling to coddle or excuse the behavior of bigoted men in any way!...
Am I supposed to ask stupid questions here, or *not* ask stupid questions?
It’s kinda how you read the name, innit?
If somebody spends the whole day watching fox or religious propaganda, gets worked up and all he can think of is owning a liberal or converting an unbeliever, is this person a victim or just gullible?
Let me explain the question:...
what's a good way to stick a laser leveler to the wall?
I have a laser level that I'd like to use for lining up pictures on my wall. I'm doing this by myself otherwise I just have someone else hold it. It has a couple holes in it that look like maybe you could use screws or nails and I'd rather not have to put holes in the wall to do this. Any suggestions?
Why are male social workers so different?
Been homeless over 6 years. My social services agency, high turnover. Being female , almost all my case managers have been female, standard practice....