@justafrog@mstdn.social avatar

justafrog

@[email protected]

Full-time amphibian.

Strongly committed to treating all individuals of the most common primate species fully as valid persons as much as possible.

Concerned about covid19, climate destabilization and economic equality.

Likes complete information abstract board games which have been played for centuries, straight into this modern time.

Middling at chess, kind of okay at baduk. Into the second year of taking shogi seriously.

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Zumbador , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

Here's something that causes friction between me and my family.

Someone asks me to make a decision about something I don't have a strong preference, but they want me to have a preference.

"do you want x or y? "

Saying "I don't care" comes across as rude, and even softening it as "I don't really have a preference" or turning it back to them by saying "what do you think?" isn't appreciated. They want me to care.

I understand that they want me to choose so they don't have to do that emotional labour. That's fair. But often when I do choose (at random), they try to change my mind, and then I'm back to square one because I don't really care, and I don't want to lie!

A honest answer would be "I'm depressed, I don't want to exist. Putting on a polite face is taking up all my effort, expecting me to actually care is beyond my capacity"

But that's too heavy for most interactions.

I'm not sure what I'm asking for here, just writing it out.

justafrog ,
@justafrog@mstdn.social avatar

@Zumbador @actuallyautistic My solution is to pick A, then if they object, pick B.

If they still object, I don't pick.

I tried, right?

By now, most people either don't ask anymore, or stick with my first choice.

I don't know if that's the best solution, but it's the one I can do.

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