@hlangeveld@hachyderm.io cover
@hlangeveld@hachyderm.io avatar

hlangeveld

@[email protected]

Old, white, male, Dutch, geek, long recovering network and Solaris sysadmin, ops guy, he/him.
Currently working with a complex mesh of APIs

Gall's law has been my guiding principle for some time now.

Father, husband. Three sons and four cats. Love devops teams, Science, Science Fiction. And I digress, with even more space here.

Also @hlangeveld

#devops #sre #reading #sf #fantasy #fedi22
#DevopsDays #NL #audhd #cats

Banner: 1973 OCR cards for ECOL programming

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theautisticcoach , to ActuallyAutistic group
@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

how do my autistic comrades combat loneliness?

@actuallyautistic

hlangeveld ,
@hlangeveld@hachyderm.io avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic

I find it comforting to know someone I care for or who cares for me is in the same house/area/room without needing to interact, but knowing I would have the option.

I've never felt as alone as whe I tried to study in the library filled with strangers who did not need nor want any distraction.

catswhocode , to ActuallyAutistic group
@catswhocode@mastodon.art avatar

@actuallyautistic Do you ever question whether or not you're autistic? I do in part because some of the traits I have can also be attributed to my brain injury, so I don't know if it's one or both

hlangeveld ,
@hlangeveld@hachyderm.io avatar

@pa @pathfinder @catswhocode @actuallyautistic

I have a vague recollection of downplaying any suggestion of autistic traits when I went for my ADHD assessment.

In the very last interview I did ask if there were any signs, and that was dismissed with "You show too much affect."

hlangeveld ,
@hlangeveld@hachyderm.io avatar

@catswhocode @pa @pathfinder @actuallyautistic

Of course this anecdotal evidence and it was > 15y ago. Insights have changed and I feel more comfortable these days to have traits on the spectrum.
I stopped taking meds for ADHD because of international travel. I then did not start again because it felt better.

I do remember clearly the fog lifting wen I took the meds, but in the long run it never felt comfortable.

autism101 , to ActuallyAutistic group
@autism101@mstdn.social avatar

Do you have any clothing routines? I own eight gray plain t-shirts with no tags which I love. I often will just wear them over and over again.

@actuallyautistic

hlangeveld ,
@hlangeveld@hachyderm.io avatar

@nddev @moz @Zumbador @octonion @autism101 @actuallyautistic

Fabric conditioners are banned in our household since my wife developed an overnight itch. I still remember those two sleepless nights.

Zumbador , to ActuallyAutistic group
@Zumbador@mefi.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

Here's something that causes friction between me and my family.

Someone asks me to make a decision about something I don't have a strong preference, but they want me to have a preference.

"do you want x or y? "

Saying "I don't care" comes across as rude, and even softening it as "I don't really have a preference" or turning it back to them by saying "what do you think?" isn't appreciated. They want me to care.

I understand that they want me to choose so they don't have to do that emotional labour. That's fair. But often when I do choose (at random), they try to change my mind, and then I'm back to square one because I don't really care, and I don't want to lie!

A honest answer would be "I'm depressed, I don't want to exist. Putting on a polite face is taking up all my effort, expecting me to actually care is beyond my capacity"

But that's too heavy for most interactions.

I'm not sure what I'm asking for here, just writing it out.

hlangeveld ,
@hlangeveld@hachyderm.io avatar

@Zumbador @nellie_m @actuallyautistic

Wonderful book.

It was eye-opener for me.

hlangeveld ,
@hlangeveld@hachyderm.io avatar

@nellie_m

... and the whole chapter on Jumping the Queue was just hilarious.

Spoiler: It was a short chapter

/cc @Zumbador @actuallyautistic

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