We really need a whole community just for the very funny AI errors like this. I could spend all day reading about leaving a dog in a hot car, jumping off a bridge and eating at least one rock a day.
You know (I hope) that that functionality does not require a cloud based service right? You are describing features for things I was playing around with 20 years ago, what you need is a program or app, not a live service. The appeal of controlling your things from your phone is not new.
I will never understand the appeal for cloud based home automation.
All the spying aside, 16 years and your thermostat is no longer supported sounds ok until you think about how if you replace everything with cloud based equivalents you are always going to be having to replace things going out of service. I think its funny that you pay more for a device that lasts for lot less (How many thermostats have people seen fail?). I guess the companies are happy?