"I know that social cues are hard for you and you are trying your best and I can't expect you to get it right on the first try, but I will shame you when you do and react like you didn't even try or did it on purpose."
Thanks for pointing that out. I wanted to edit in something like that, but it felt like rambling.
It's frustrating when people react badly to what they incorrectly percieve as hostility, but it's not on them to read my mind and know the full context.
It's extra frustrating when people know but still get insulted by what they on an intellectual level know isn't an insult. It's human nature and it takes practice to manage that.
All in all, people may even both know and be patient but still find my behavior exhausting. And it's unfair to expect them to bend around me.
This is why I'm annoyed when people protest at any mention of "masking" as if it's evil. It's not. It's just basic courtesy to not confuse or upset people. Just be aware of how much you can do it healthily is all.
Because most people don't understand that developmental disabilities aren't always intellectual. Same reason a lot of people treat bind, deaf, or other physically disabled people like they are also intellectually disabled.
Nah, don't assume malice when stupidity can be at play. That type of person is self centered, self absorbed, and they don't respect things they cant grasp. Most of the time its not a power play.
Maybe you need to work on masking. Pretending to be a "normal" person to fit in is a big pain, and something I personally hate. But if you act "normal" when meeting new people, they will treat you like everyone else. It's tough to act this way but it might help you.
(It also sucks that we can't be accepted the way we are, but that's how the world is. As much as we might want to change the world, we also have to live in it as it is day to day)
Ye, what I usually do it mask until they treat me as an equal, then casually mention my ASD when it is relevant. I think it serves to normalize it without creating preconceptions.
Check out Ventoy, it's a utility for booting any disk image fron USB storage and might help reduce the number of drives you need to carry. Also, it supports data persistence if you want a portable live OS. =D
I’m a school bus driver. The short bus doesn’t mean anything. Some routes just don’t have that many kids and/or go through places where a larger bus wouldn’t be practical. I actually just got switched to a short bus because I was driving a large bus downtown to pick up 15 kids. Like.. no.
That makes sense. Still, in my case, I think it was the autistic bus because even though we only had 4 kids in there, the bus driver had an assistant with him that would basically babysit us. They were pretty strict with rules, and we weren't even allowed to talk to each other sometimes. The larger bus that picked up kids from the same neighborhood and had 20+ students in it did not have an assistant. Their rules were also much more relaxed.
Kindness mostly. The kid mostly just liked to ask me my opinion on the most mundane things. Sometimes he’d try to block other kids from getting on the bus and I had to be firm about that, but as long as I told him whether I like peanut butter better than jam we were pals.
Man, being around my age, I am surprised your classmates didn't make it painfully clear you were on the short bus because they thought you were "intellectually challenged", and not because of "overflow".
I realized I was similarly getting manipulated and teased in my late teens. Looking back, I think alot of it was down to me missing/misinterpreting social signals and trying to fit in. I was usually aware of what was going on but didn't know how to extricate myself in a way that wouldn't bring further ridicule.
Once I became aware of the pattern, I stopped talking to and approaching people. I keep to myself and generally approach social situations from a respectful but hostile and mistrustful position until proven otherwise. I'm trying to break this habit but its difficult after living it for so long.
I personally had found it very difficult, and it absolutely destroyed my mental health (it was essentially the trigger for me to get therapy).
Granted my mental health wasn't great to begin with.
You should have good photos. Like get a professional photographer if you can afford it, otherwise YouTube tutorials and a friend/camera timer. The picture is the first thing people see and their choice of whether to read the message at all or scroll onto the next person will depend on the photo.
I had minimal matches for 2-3 years taking my own photos, like between 1-3 I think. I asked my buddy's GF to take some pictures of me playing with their dogs, and asked her to choose which ones went up from a woman's perspective. Not my first choices but it was a complete 180 for me. Had matches within the week, and I'm currently dating my last match from 4 years ago.
thank you - it's very hard continually coming up with perky, happy sounding chat up lines and sending them off into the ether with little response. how do i even know how well i'm doing?
A full 100% sounds weird. It means complete overlap with the ASD assessment which itself isn't bulletproof. Weird like there were some mistakes in the data. E.g. all ASD pictures taken on the same day and getting a date timestamp, "ASD" written in the metadata or filename, or different light in different lab.
I didn't see any immediate problems in the published paper, but if these were my results I'd be to worried to publish it.
It sounds like the model is overfitting the training data. They say it scored 100% on the testing set of data which almost always indicates that the model has learned how to ace the training set but flops in the real world.
I think we shouldn’t put much weight behind this news article. This is just more overblown hype for the sake of clicks.
If it helps, I see at least one downvote on pretty much any post with more than 10 upvotes, regardless of the content. So don’t take it personally. And I hope your day gets better. Some days are just shitty, and that’s ok. Just do what needs to be done on those days, try to be nice to people, and look forward to the better days that will definitely come.
Flash news people like fiction not as a representation of reality but as a stylized, idealized versión of it, that's why you see beautiful people, not fat, ugly or old. So it's autistic quirky and not every day autistic.
I'm aware it's an impopular opinion but that doesn't make it less true. And you can gauge it by how popular it is.
that’s why you see beautiful people, not fat, ugly or old
I frankly don't usually agree with Hollywood ideas of "beautiful". Which is also the reason I'm watching mainstream movies (and I'm not a cinema enthusiast, so mainstream is all I watch) less and less - those ideas are becoming even more narrow and specific over time. I'm feeling as if some subculture's or even some little group's idea of "cool" is being shoved down my throat, in appearances and writing and cinematographic language even.
In my personal opinion people I know are in average more beautiful than Hollywood faces active now.
I said fiction, not Hollywood. And yes you can have your own preferences, I'm not saying that you can't, just that what we call mainstream is the representation of objective beauty.
those ideas are becoming even more narrow and specific over time
Depending on who you ask, somebody would tell you it's the contrary.
Nope, facial and body symmetry can determine if someone is considered universally beautiful.
And it's not limited to humans, animals and plants can be considered universally beautiful.
The sea and the starry sky, a sunset, the moon etc, if it moves emotion within you then it's beautiful, and there are things that move the world entirely.
Nope, facial and body symmetry can determine if someone is considered universally beautiful.
Facial and body symmetry is ugly or at least scary. You've just never seen people with that.
Other than that - beauty is by definition your own opinion on whether something looks good or bad. If there's a single person in the world who disagrees - then it's not universal. If there is none, but there may be the next moment - then it's not universal.
and there are things that move the world entirely
Nothing moves the world entirely. Majority vote doesn't apply here and even the 3 (or up to 7, whatever) sigma rule doesn't.
Take a sufficiently well-centered photo, leave only the left or the right half, and replace the other one with its mirrored version. Then honestly say whether what you see is beautiful or ugly.
If you know that, just walk around here trolling, then bon appetit and ignore my advice.
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