Kolanaki ,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

Was about to go down on a girl when the smell of her snatch stopped me. Her kitty straight up smelled like a dirty litter box. 🤢

Eol ,

This is how gays are born.

Kolanaki ,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

Go down on girl

Snatch smells like litterbox

Become gay

Go down on guy

Hasn't wiped

"I'm asexual now."

Eol ,

The circle of sex.

Lost_My_Mind ,

I mean, after all that, can you really blame the poor guy???

SatansMaggotyCumFart ,

That’s called dumpster pussy.

It’s common in Essex.

Anticorp ,

Why is it common? Do parents not teach personal hygiene there?

Mammothmothman ,

Correct

Anticorp ,

Gross

Mammothmothman ,

"Grooming" children is evil.

Anticorp ,

Eek!

PhlubbaDubba ,

Ya ever hear about a sandpaper handjob?

Picture one given by a lady who was almost certainly trained by a Korean masseuse.

Not the ones in LA that are playing up the aesthetic to upcharge you, the legit dudes in Korea who put you down naked on a table and leave you feeling like you've been done over with a zester.

I escaped having ma dick completely ripped right off the hilt only through saying I was about to cum and wanted to fuck her first.

I left, picked a sandwich up because I knew I wasn't in the headspace to cook, sat down on my bed, and just considered my life choices with an ice pack over my jeans.

hemko ,

Baby wake up, new copypasta just dropped

JayleneSlide ,

I had a partner for eight years. We met when we were both 31. She was my first monogamous relationship theretofore because I decided to give monogamy a try. She was utterly, screamingly boring in bed. There was nothing else notably wrong with the relationship, except for her unwillingness to communicate on anything beyond household, workaday topics. No oral (give or receive), no anal, not into foreplay, and she would just lay there. But no conflicts either. There was the advantage of she was always willing and ready to go without any foreplay or lube. She got off and claimed she was absolutely sexually satisfied. Sex wasn't even fun in the context of Free Use, which is a kink I enjoy. I tried to engage her in all kinds of Gottman Method relationship work, but she bluntly and explicitly refused.

At one point early in our relationship, she moved and clamped her vagina in a way that was quite enjoyable. "Honey, that was great! Please do that more." And for the rest of our relationship, any such complement was a sure-fire way to make sure it would never happen again. After eight years of nearly daily, invariably terrible sex, I stopped approaching her sex for three weeks. She never said a thing. On day 22, I broke up with her, and she was absolutely gobsmacked, claimed that I was throwing away eight years of great history. She hadn't even noticed that there had been no sex for three weeks.

NeoNachtwaechter ,

I so wish I could hear the other side of this story.

JayleneSlide ,

You and me both! 😆 We continued to live together and were besties for another four years, and she would never talk about anything relationship-related, even as her next three relationships imploded.

wildncrazyguy138 ,

Like a pillow princess, but somehow worse.

SatansMaggotyCumFart ,

I took two women home from the bar one night and I guess they were fighting because they kept biting each other's clits.

Or maybe it was establishing dominance but either way it was just kind of awkward.

Alice ,
@Alice@hilariouschaos.com avatar

you sure they wern't Possums?

SatansMaggotyCumFart ,

Do possums bite each other's clits?

I haven't spent that much time with them before.

Hadriscus ,

Hyenas

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