I ran out of strength to keep pretending. We are not all 'actors'.
24/7 acting, I lost myself. I never seemed to stop hating myself all the while. I lied to myself, to think I liked myself, or was the lie, the facade, the fake, the thing that put others needs first instead of her own... I suffered, physically and mentally, so they didnt have to see a small stain in their sight.
Out of sight, out of mind, suffering of the child in the basement nobody sees.