Here's an example of what does not work: glaring at your autistic spouse.
My ex-wife has ADHD, but we did not know that I was autistic, and we never discussed neurodivergence in our household.
She'd be annoyed. She'd communicate this annoyance by glaring. I'd fail to perceive it. She'd accuse me of deliberately ignoring her. I'd accuse her of inventing her glares.
I begged her to be explicit, but she couldn't. She was 20 years older than I am, and she said that's how she was raised.
🤷
Our marriage managed to last 22 years. It is when she retired, and I was home in earnest that things started going bad for us.
Actually, I was thinking about this this morning. We bought the last house we lived in from another couple that was or had divorced. I think the house is cursed. :madjoy: