I'll start by saying my skin is really pale. Like, ginger "burn after 5 minutes in the sun"-white. Thus I don't personally experience racism often (although of course I do notice it around me a lot, because fuck are there many racists), nor do I think it's even comparable to how bad it is for other people. But this one time caught me so off guard, because this woman actually thought she was giving me a compliment and she had no idea how fucked up it sounded.
One of my parents is white, the other is mixed. That side of the family has roots in Suriname. When I told one of my colleagues about it, she told me "wow, then you really got lucky with your skin color!" Like wtf? And here I am, always jealous of my sibling, who can actually walk in the sun without burning up like a vampire.
I often wondered if I was making too big a deal out of it, because it pissed me off. I called her a racist and never talked to her again. Luckily I don't work with her anymore.
My thoughts exactly. Though maybe I could have handled it in a way that didn't involve me calling her a racist in a crowd of people. But I'm glad at least I didn't stay quiet about it.
Maybe in a minority, but definitely not alone. I agree completely. Does absolutely nothing for me when someone touches my breasts, like at all. They may as well just been touching my back or my arm. Nothing erotic about it. But you know, it's not like it's particularly unpleasant either, so I guess, who cares? At least they like it. :p Well, as long as they're not trying to actually pinch or bite my nipples because that's very uncomfortable, and at certain points during my cycle it's downright painful.
I think I know what the user means. Trust me (yeah sure random internet person), you have no idea how often the most innocuous stuff gets used as an opening, a justification to keep bothering someone. Some guy asks for the time? Suddenly he also wants to know your name and do you want to have a drink? Some guy asks where x building is? Oh well, have you lived here long? I'm new here, maybe we could get together? Or it's "does this tram go to x station?" and then, fuck, you're stuck in a moving tram without an easy escape and the guy keeps asking why he can't have your phone number, even though you already said no and then you lied about having a boyfriend, but still he won't give up. Playing along with someone, being nice, trying to help them with innocuous stuff, 8 out of 10 times it doesn't end there at all.
Before I get a bunch of downvotes: No, it's not every guy. We know it's not every guy. But most of us don't want to sit through 6 creeps just on the off-chance of meeting a nice person. It's just not worth it. And yes, it's always guys who do this. I've never had a woman following me after giving her directions. I've never had a woman keep pushing me after I said no (and I'm sure they exist, crappy women exist, but usually I feel perfectly safe responding to women - so sue me, confirmation bias).
Edit: Just to respond to your specific situation. I think I might have given you the high five if you'd been at it for a little bit and I'd seen you do it to everyone else and not acting like a creep. The fact that it's a bar scene and a social environment makes it all a little easier, imo. Most of my examples, real experiences btw, always happen in non-social scenes, like when going to work, or while doing groceries, etc. So in your case, I probably would have. But just to point out: it wasn't about you personally, basically a bunch of creeps ruined it for you.
What is an experience of racism you have faced ?
Have you got any weird questions for the opposite gender?
That's it
TIL that some people do not have an inner voice and think in different nonverbal ways. ( humanities.ku.dk )
cross-posted from: https://lemmit.online/post/2916897...