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vger , 4 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

A week ago, I've got my official Autism/ADHD/AuDHD diagnosis. during this week, I've been thinking of one of my problems that has the biggest impact on my wellbeing: hobbies.

For this example I will focus on my hobby of computer gaming, but it happens with pretty much anything. My brain works the following way: I see a new game which I immediately want to try out. I buy that game, play it, have lots of fun with it, but after about 10-20 in-game hours, I lose interest. I happen to watch gamers on YouTube or Twitch, so my brain sees the next game it wants to try. I buy it, 10-20 hours later its uninteresting. This behaviour of seeing new shiny games continues to happen, but heres the actual problem: I've now accumulated several hundreds of games, with a few dozen favorites.

My brain now wants to play a particular game I already own and then starts an internal discussion, why it wants to play that game, and not another one. My ADHD argues, that it would take many hours to continue that game and I would not have enough time to play other exciting games (no matter if I already own them or not). But my Autism wants to fully focus on that game and also on any other game I find exciting. This internal fight causes a lot of stress and I pretty much just burn-out by not playing any games, but just debating which one I should play.

Like I've said, this affects any other hobby as well. So it's not just the internal debate on what game to play, but also what to do besides gaming. I see new interesting stuff: I want to try it out. And when I want to try it out, it's always "all-or-nothing" for me. I want to fully engulf myself in that new hobbie and try out every aspect of it. But the sheer thought of going through it and not having time for other exciting stuff burns be out and there are weeks where I end up not doing any hobby. And when I do that, I get depressed because I didn't spend time with my hobbies.

I'm not sure what I'm asking here. This feels like a really big problem to just take some advise and find a solution. After all, I've had this for the past 10+ years. But after my diagnose it feels like the first time in my life that I have an explanation for this behaviour. My current strategy is finding out which type of games I really enjoy and then just have one or two games per genre that I can play when I have an itch for the genre. But hey, guess what my brain does instead: it starts an argument about why I want to play this genre and not that genre.

Do any of you have similar problems?

AnAutieAtUni , 20 days ago to ActuallyAutistic group

I am so HAPPY I have a virus! And I know most of you won’t understand why straight away…

I thought my chronic illness was showing a new longer-term pattern of decline. But it isn’t! It was a virus that is only now showing up and being obvious. It means my chronic illness “decline” was actually it just flaring up alongside the virus, like it usually does when I get a virus.

I’m so “happy”!! Haha!! I mean… technically, I’m just relieved, but the relief is MASSIVE so I’m actually happy. Which is weird! I guess my happiness-ometer works differently to most?!

@mecfs @actuallyautistic

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I shared the above because I want to share some ‘positive’ news. If you’re cool with that - thank you! If you’re still confused, here is more context that a few people will benefit from:

[Someone will feel compelled to educate me about how viruses are not harmless. If they do, here’s what you’ve got to know: and all this is said in a light-hearted jest-ful tone, but also with seriousness. I have ME/CFS which is very likely a post-viral syndrome just like long covid, except there’s no way of knowing which virus did it. I do not WANT viruses; that is not the point of the above statement. It’s that I used to be literally housebound for years but have maintained ‘mild’ ME/CFS for years since and was terrified of going BACK to that. Yes, I’ve had covid and vaccines and thankfully I’ve recovered from them all and know not everyone does… catching viruses is NOT a sport I took up 😜 I don’t go out mingling trying to attract viruses like swiping right on a dating app… I’m careful, in my own way, and in all honesty I barely go out, especially compared to people who commute to work daily. No, masks aren’t 100% effective but they’re damn good! No, I won’t be going out mingling to pass on this virus. Hoping I have covered everything that an internet “educator” might say.]