This is not necessarily effective on its own, but it's a way to find out what the situation is. It is a simple way to open the discussion about your lack of interest in what they have to say. Sometimes they just shut up.
That is hard. If the manager is likely to side with her, then that limits your options considerably. In that case, if you truly need this job, then put your head down, persist, and let this delightful woman be wrong.
"Sure." And then don't do it. Over and over.
I'm sorry that you're dealing with this. It's not you; it's them. I suspect you're wonderful and I'm sorry that your employer doesn't recognize that.
I relate to your position. You are wrong. You absolutely do choose to hate or not hate. This lies entirely within your control.
I used to have the impulse to hate them, but I don't any more.
On the list you cite, emotions is the one thing you choose, even though it might not feel that way right now. I don't expect you to believe me. I will cite Lisa Feldman Barrett and the book How Emotions are Made and you can decide whether you want to explore or not.
If she can report you for being 5 minutes late, what stops you from reporting her when she leaves early? I'm not criticizing you, but rather genuinely asking what's in the way.
If "Go fuck yourself" is not your style or otherwise inadvisable, then another option is to start with "You will not call me that. You will call me by my name. Thank you." Say this as calmly and evenly as you can. Keep saying it. Don't let her rattle you into straying from this.
If she insists, then pick a name to call her and insist on it no matter how much she objects. I doubt I need to suggest such a name, but rather I trust you to engage your creativity.
Even so, I don't have any objection to "go fuck yourself" if you think that wouldn't put your job in jeopardy.