This dog has interrobangs and semi-colons in his head.
Translation: "Furthermore; it is necessary to the security of the household that you allocate unto me a portion of all baked, cooked, or roasted goods that pass herein. For should I waste for want of sustenance, there would be no watch at the door; no bold guard to prevent the trespass of wicked men into the holdfast of our fair clan. And what could such a trifling price be, but rightfully rendered payment to a hound most virtuous and fair; indeed, such a payment is ennobling, even, to bursar and beneficiary alike!"
Minus a few things (grapes, garlic, onions, chocolate, etc) dogs share a very close diet to us, that's why we've evolved together for so long. If your dog is suffering and early death because of a few scraps you give them, you likely are too. Also, it's just a cute towel. Don't take it that seriously.
