@olena@actuallyautistic absolutely rings a bell. 1.avoiding conflict at almost all cost: check -this I am getting better at because it could cause problems where I didn't fend for myself enough and suffered the consequences, and 2.defending what I think is right even though it's not the time or place or person to do this with, and unwittingly creating a conflict? check! I seldom realize these things are true unless someone else -like you- phrases them first.