@spika@Zumbador@actuallyautistic I don't think it "feels" dismissive of your autism, I think it is dismissive of your autism, and I think it's okay to admit that to yourself.
It sounds like your partner isn't accounting for masking strategies, and is therefore dismissive of any needs that he can't see. I think you might need to have a conversation when neither of you are in meltdown about the types of experience you're internalising and how that affects you.