@Zumbador@chevalier26@actuallyautistic it's true that some people can't help but pick at these things. But if the thing we've discussed here before about NTs using others as their yardstick for acceptable morals more than nds, then this might also be a "helpful" tactic gone wrong.
After all, if a social peer doesn't think it's a big deal or can make light of it, an NT person could presumably use that to reduce their actual experience.
Another double empathy crossover in other words.