@Jobob i would also guess it's nothing to do with how you look. i'm also told i am scary, and i'm an extremely tiny and not at all imposing, colorful, expressive and generally silly person, absolutely nothing scary about me appearance-wise. i think i'm getting the "scary" label because that i obviously don't conform to societal norms and some people take that as inherently threatening. unfortunately there's not much i can do to put them at ease. if they've decided people are either normal or scary, well, i can't convince them i'm normal, therefore, i'm scary.