I do not think you understand the strategic danger Finland would be in without NATO, If Russia had won Ukraine.
It's not even really questioned whether Russia would go further afterwards, but more what the strategy would be. And that would likely be to go for areas that only had lose defense alliances, meaning Finland would probably be higher on the list than Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania. Maybe Russia would go for Moldova and Georgia first, but they would fall quickly, and Russia could surprise by going for Finland first.
There is no doubt that Finland would be in much higher danger than Sweden, and the idea of Russia as a mostly peaceful neighbor ought to be dead for anyone by now. And it's absolutely laughable to compare EU with NATO, Just see how Hungary has messed up aid for Ukraine, Finland could be overrun before a decision was made in EU to even do anything.
NORDEFCO is mostly nothing, and it's definitely NOT a defense pact. IDK why you would even mention that?
It's amazing you feel you need to mention you are not anti NATO, being anti NATO as an NCO in the Finnish reserves, would be insane now IMO.