I suggest you read "The Game: Penetrating The Secret Society of Pickup Artists” by Neil Strauss. Not to become a 'pickup artist', which itself is a joke and a very shallow life even if one were "good at it". No.
However, there is a chapter or two, I can't remember how much but it could have been half the book, about self-actualization that I thought was very useful. About making your life full, so that you have a rich background of things you enjoy doing to bring people to.
It's been forever since I read it, but it's an interesting read, especially when Courtney Love is being den-mother to a houseful of pick-up artists in training. Neil Strauss can tell a story. He also wrote a biography about living with Mötley Crüe that is pretty depraved.