What are your best intrusive ads ideas?

If your job was to come up with greater enshittification for society, what would you do?

My ideas:

  1. Rental apartments where every wall has a screen with ads 24/7. You can pay cheaper rent to live with ads in every wall or you can pay a monthly subscription to turn off the ads (you don't get to use the screens for anything else tho). After people get used to it we can start adding a little bit of ads even for the subscription users, just a little less.

  2. Movie theaters. This one is obvious, why did anyone think it was ok to give people access to uninterrupted movies just because they paid a couple bucks? We should include some ads in the middle of movies in the cinema duh.

  3. Water and electricity. Private utility providers should be able to require you to watch a certain amount of ads on their apps in order to deliver their services to you every month (you still also pay normally ofc).

  4. Alarm clocks. Smartphones should delete the option to pick a custom sound for alarm and instead wake you up with loud ads. Installing any custom alarm app should require root and we should lobby government to ban devices with alarm clocks which are not smart.

  5. Unified ad-watching score. Similar to credit score, you will gain points by not skipping ads, having the selfie camera turned on while watching an ad (to make sure you looking), having the microphone on to make sure it isn't muted, etc. Every platform contributes to your score. They can use your ad-watching score to give you benefits or punish you as they please.

Bizarroland ,

You have to watch an ad to crank your car.

Every time you bring your car to a full stop while it is running, an ad plays through your audio system and displays on your radio.

You have to watch an ad to make a phone call.

When your phone rings, it plays an ad jingle, call JG Wentworth 877 cash now.

When you send a text message or write a text post to an online system, an ad is injected with your text post so that readers in order to read what you wrote also have to read the ad.

If you have Smart lights or anything smart in your home, in order to use it you have to watch an ad.

In order to pay for something with a credit card you have to watch an ad on the credit card machine and click one of the choices that are offered to you.

Smart pillows that play hypnotic ads at you in your sleep.

Your electric toothbrush requires an ad to be played the whole time it is being used, and if you brush your teeth for less than the length of the ad, then they take a dollar from you.

Some guy comes to your house and screams logos and add quotes at you all of the time. If you try to get him to shut up he murders you and your entire family.

Replace the guy with a robot.

Achyu ,

Some 'innovator' writing all this down.

1 and 2 seem very possible. But 2 may lead to more piracy. So anti-policy lobbying may happen too.
The ones can be gradually introduced.

SkyezOpen ,

5 sounds fun to exploit. Could just record myself staring at the screen on a loop, then loop the audio back to input, leave it on 24/7 and reap whatever godawful "benefits" come from having a great ad watching score.

livus ,

Smart contact lenses and also smart built-in lenses that work like cataract surgery lenses.

These are given away free and basically make traditional optometry have to change to a lower volume higher cost model. We also outlaw lasik on the grounds that it is more dangerous than smart lense implants.

The smart lenses track you and interact with personalised location specific advertiser content at each surveillance point, allowing them to show ads directly to your retina.

tetris11 ,
@tetris11@lemmy.ml avatar

"We've noticed that your eyes track boobs a lot, so here are some ads for better bras to reduce back ache."

kayaven ,
@kayaven@lemmy.world avatar

Brain implants that steal your thought patterns, which then get fed into some artificial intelligence that can create the perfect ad for your to see, which then gets directed straight into your brain with the same implant so you're pretty much forced to buy it. Maybe they can straight up alter your thoughts directly so you want to buy something, skipping the need for ads.

Oh wait... I'm probably just describing what Elon is up to in the long run.

tetris11 ,
@tetris11@lemmy.ml avatar

Don't be silly. Elon is going to anonymize the data extraction first, categorise you into one of five badly defined groups, and then beam that shitty group product back into your brain.

letsgo ,

A transparent ad centred on your mouse cursor.

Railing5132 ,

Noah, get the boat!

Stern ,
@Stern@lemmy.world avatar

If technology wasn't an issue: Dream ads. Naked at school? Calvin Kleins got you covered.

tetris11 , (edited )
@tetris11@lemmy.ml avatar

Futurama, eh?

CorneliusTalmadge ,
@CorneliusTalmadge@lemmy.world avatar

We all had commercials in our dreams but you don’t see us running off to buy brand name merchandise at low low prices.

lattrommi ,

I for one, am severely disappointed that i do not have relevent and targeted ads to view, while i am filling out online applications for jobs. i also still don't see ads when i put the same information again on a paper application, as part of their company's interview process or when filling out the tax paperwork if i get hired and i haven't gotten ads yet when applying for food stamps due to the job not paying anything close to enough to survive off of and you know, come to think of it, i have not once seen an ad on any of my termination letters or paychecks either. actually, that's probably because i never get either of those, they just tell me to stop ringing the bell and hand them the bucket of cash or tell me to return the wendy's uniform within a week or i get a $35 fine deducted from my last paycheck and that i'm no longer allowed on the property after what happened behind the dumpster but that's another story, i digress.

they should have ads on cash too. just because some people only use plastic cards and NFC to pay for things, doesn't mean everyone does. poor people have a right to be bombarded with ads from their choice of currency, even if it is for things they cannot afford. it is a grave injustice of equal rights, that when i'm holding a cardboard sign on the freeway onramp begging for change, the pittance of coins i'm being pelted with aren't blaring slogans from tiny built in speakers. when i'm dancing at the topless bar, the greasy singles being crumpled up and thrown at me don't even play ads that sync up with the song i dance to and never, not one fucking time has my song and dance been interrupted for an important advertising announcement, it's only ever interrupted by the strip club staff telling me to leave and never come back and that guys can't dance to 'touch myself' by the divinyls no matter how flexible they are. i digress.

this is sarcasm mixed with weak attempts at humor. nothing should be considered truthful or accurate however some might be based on true events which have been altered or exagerrated for effect. This message was brought to by typing and no AI was harmed or used in the making of this comment.

fjordbasa ,

I’m reminded of a classic greentext.

PLEASE DRINK VERIFICATION CAN TO CONTINUE

SpaceCowboy ,
@SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca avatar

Give a discount on food purchases so long as people agree to having every purchase tracked abd their data sold to marketing companies so they can figure out how to manipulate people into buying more shit they don't need.

People's food purchases are already scanned in before they buy them, so all that's needed is to get people to scan in some kind of card to connect their purchases to their identity. A small discount can be offered so people will fill out a form connecting their identity to the card and then every time they scan the card with their purchases we can track everything they buy forever.

Oh wait, that's actually already commonplace.,

HurlingDurling ,
@HurlingDurling@lemmy.world avatar

If this is the path of society, I'll go live off nature completely off grid.

NorthWestWind ,
@NorthWestWind@lemmy.world avatar

Open source housing units when?

tetris11 ,
@tetris11@lemmy.ml avatar

when houses become free, land/freeholds will be the new hustle. Cappies gotta cap.

j4k3 ,
@j4k3@lemmy.world avatar

Motion activated cemetery headstones.

tetris11 ,
@tetris11@lemmy.ml avatar

Make money for your family, after you're gone! If you get 1 million visitors, you get 1000 dollars a month! Just need to train a bird to swoop by every few minutes, and you're living the life!

AlligatorBlizzard ,

Oh, sorry, your cost of plot rent is now $1500 per month.

leaky_shower_thought ,

this amber alert alert is brought to you by alerts-r-us!

...

this amber alert is brought to you by alerts-r-us!

j4k3 ,
@j4k3@lemmy.world avatar

The vast majority of amber alerts in most areas are because of abuses of government child care services. The attorneys working for these places make a hefty commission based on the amount that can justify by any means they wish really. So in a round about way it is like an ad in a few ways.

leaky_shower_thought ,

and it gets more fun if there's an alert for an impending amber alert

andallthat , (edited )

The medical field is ripe for some intrusive ads to boost revenues! Possibilities are endless:

Ad-supported hearing aids ("this conversation will resume after a quick message from our sponsors!")

Pacemakers - want to watch an ad for 100 more free heartbeats?

Surgery - this will leave a visible scar, but how about we make the cut look like the Amazon logo ?

Implants - click the nipple and watch an ad to re-inflate the left breast for 10 more days

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