@actuallyautistic#actuallyautistic How did y'all discover which parts of yourself were masking and which parts are genuine? Or, figuring out when you are masking in the moment it happens? Sometimes I feel off in certain scenarios but I can never pinpoint what is masking and what isn't. Any advice or resources would be appreciated!
I don't find "masking" to be a helpful term, although I use it myself.
I don't think that there's a genuine me and a mask. I change depending who I'm with, and some ways of being are more painful, some feel more right. There might be multiple ways of feeling right.
This might be because I'm late realised, so I've spent decades forcing myself to behave against my nature, so some of that has become my genuine nature, like a tree forced to incorporate the wires wound around it in its shape.
Some things I have identified as harmful masking:
Being self deprecating about my special interest.
Conciously making myself less intense
Pretending to agree with people when I actually don't
Making my face and voice expressive so I don't seem angry
@Zumbador@chevalier26@actuallyautistic
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I really have no idea what my personality is, it may al be masking. I know what I THINK, but I don't have any awareness of some way to "be," that would be my own.
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I'm taking my first little try at figuring it out right now listening to Autism Chrysalis' list here on a loop right now: https://youtu.be/V432ZWNpM0E?si=rumGgiC3d1RmK2v9
@chevalier26@actuallyautistic before I figured out my 'tism diagnosis I hyperfocused on "healing" trauma for about 8 years. The biggest lessons?
For me, it doesn't matter what is masking. It matters how well I love myself in this gestures broadly madness. The more I love myself, the more real I am, the more flexible I am.
Shifting your nervous system or making lasting internal change takes forever. Stay focused on 1% effort/change and you'll get there, just years later then you think.