@Oggie@Autistrain@actuallyautistic@neurodiversity
It sounds as if your experience is similar to mine, but I've always framed it differently. What I'm about to say is meant to complement what you and the article have already said, rather than contradict it.
As #ActuallyAutistic people, we're conditioned by the neurotypical world to see ourselves as failures at this baffling but centrally important game that everyone else understands but no one ever explains to us. So we're used to seeing ourselves as being bad at certain things without understanding why people do them or how they're done. And sometimes we respond by deciding that we've tried and failed so many times that we're not even going to try any more.
I've never thought of myself as gender-divergent, and I still don't. I'm a cis het male and I love it. Testosterone is the best drug I know. It's just that I have no interest in sport, I'm not going to pretend to enjoy lager, I'm hopeless at DIY, and I'd rather form meaningful relationships than endlessly compete with people as men usually do. I've always thought of this, not as gender-divergence, but as having the masculine confidence to shape my masculinity around my character, preferences and needs. Being hopeless with a hacksaw doesn't make me gender-queer. 😄
Again: I'm only talking about myself here, not trying to invalidate anyone else's experience.