Strong Towns: We Built Isolating Places. Can We Get Out? ( youtu.be )

SwingingTheLamp , 24 days ago

I've talked a fair bit about this with my brother. I'm the urbanist nerd, and he's the PhD psychologist. The United States is a deeply traumatized society, which has a great deal to do with our history and hyper-individualist ideology, but it's now a feedback loop in which the hyper-individualist ideology perpetuates the trauma. Our built landscape is largely a redirection of that, so it's both a symptom and a cause.

You see how the two are wrapped up together by the number of people who say (often in this very community) that they hate being around people, that they couldn't live in a city, that they don't want neighbors, or at least want to keep them at figurative arm's distance, so they NEED cars. That's a manifestation of the chronic fight-flight-or-freeze response, because at an individual level, our mental model is of other people as competitors and possible existential threats. (What's wrong with public transit? CRiMinALs wIlL KiLl mE!)

Thing is, to we're a highly-social animal, so the more we pull away from other people in fear, the more stressed and traumatized we get. That is to say, that it's not simply that the built landscape causes loneliness, but loneliness and car-dependency are interlocked in a feedback loop with other factors.

GBU_28 , 24 days ago

I don't think others are threats, I just don't want to hear them arguing or farting or have them in my way.

Edit I've lived in a cheap apartment before and could literally hear when my neighbor took a shit. I've also lived in a condo, and while higher end, I could still hear my neighbor open and close their front door.

I would much rather hear the birds in my rural yard than hear people moving around

Edit edit I have lots of people in my life, and have friends at my home, or am at their home multiple times a week. I would not describe myself as isolated or lonely, just choiceful about what noise and space pollution I allow in my life