I'm sad that you were made to think this way. That you don't consider yourself important enough to care about yourself.
You never need to "look good for others". Fuck that BS.
I'm going to be 40 this year. These last few years I've been really experimenting with my looks. Never standing still, never stopping.
You're not a painting to be put in a frame and stand still. You're a living, feeling being.
Take care